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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hi i stumbled accross this site when looking for some info about recurrent miscarriage ive posted a few times and then i noticed this thread so thoguth i would say hi and share my story

My story....................

in the last 3 years myself and my husband have lost 5 babies, that is 5 little lives that should be here with us today .
my first loss was very early infact I didn't actually know I was pregnant till it was too late, I had been taking the pill but stopped as we wanted to try for a baby when my period didn't come after my last pill I didn't really think much of it we were renovating our house and to be honest I wasn't really even worried about it but when 3 weeks later what I thought was my period began but it was so heavy infact I ended up in hospital that's when they told me the news that I had actually been pregnant.
I didn't know how to feel I was sad because I knew how much we would have loved that baby but at the same time I had not bonded with it as I had known nothing about it.
As soon as I was physically well again we started to try again and I fell pregnant on our
3rd month of trying we were over the moon. It was November and I remember thinking ohh a new year with no drinking!
but then the bleeding started just spotting to begin with and I took the doctors advice I rested but it got worse and I just knew it was over we had lost another little life and this time it was so much harder to deal with we had planned things even bought a little hat and scratch mitts we were so sure things would be ok this time but it was not meant to be so again we went to the hospital and it was confirmed.
We decided not to try again as it was just all too hard to face but then a year later we decided the time was right so we tried and again on my 3rd cycle of trying we got the positive test
we were so sure that this time it would all be ok we had done everything right we were taking all the right steps, Dave was taking zinc I had been taking my folic acid, we had both stopped drinking were fit and healthy, but again the bleeding came I couldn't face going to the hospital again having to sit in that room full of pregnant women waiting for my scan having to answer questions when all I wanted to do was run and never stop.
So we stayed at home and got through it together by now we knew what to expect.
A few days after the bleeding started I went to the doctor to tell him the news he said he totally understood why we did not want to go to the hospital and was so supportive towards us. When we were ready he referred us to the local hospital to have tests to see if we could find out when this was happening.
The tests showed up nothing they told us basically to go away and try again. We could not try again at that time and decided we needed another focus so we decided to get married it had always been the plan but with all our focus being on having a baby it had been put on the back burner so we started to plan a wedding of our dreams.
On Sept 1st 2007 we got married my lovely husband gave me the best wedding present ever he had my wedding ring especially made for me it had 3 little stars on it to symbolise the 3 children we had lost.
So we decided to start trying again we took a more relaxed approach this time and I was over the moon when we found out in early Jan that we were having a baby but again the bleeding came and we told my gp we did not want to go to the hospital nothing could be done to stop this and we wanted to be together at home , but when the bleeding did not settle down we decided we needed to go to the hospital and when they did they found a miracle we had been carrying twins and one was still in there heart beating for a whole 2 days we were so happy for this little miracle but sad at the same time for the loss of our other baby. But then I was called for another scan and the consultant told us that the other pregnancy was no longer viable not im sorry your baby is unwell it will not survive the way they told us hurt so much
And so we left the hospital and went home to wait to loose another child.
so that's my story and that is why I feel the need to do this run to make as much money as possible to help other women going through what I went through
I have another ring now with 2 stars on to go with my wedding ring I hope one day that I will no longer have to find rings with stars on but will instead be looking for baby grows and bottles

well if your still reading id also just like to add that i am going to be doing the great yorkshire run in sheffield on sunday 7th sept i know this is a little cheeky but if anyone would like to either sponsor me or keep track of my progress have a peek here
http://www.justgiving.com/traceybeadle

thanks for reading
mil x
 

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Hello Milso welcome to Fertility Friends. What an incredibly touching and trauamatic story you have so far ^hugme^

I know how traumatic it is to lose one baby so I can only imagne the pain of losing several and the fear that accompanies each positive pregnancy test.

I presume that the tests you have had are all the basic standard miscarriage tests but I wonder if perhaps you could ask for a referral to a specialst miscarriage clinic where they might conduct a few more detailed tests, as well as perhaps genetic testing of you and your DH to see if there is any issues there? It is definitely worth going back to your gp to ask and see what else can be done or, if not there are some private places where they test for things that the NHS will not test for (such as NK cells etc.) You might find the pregnancy loss boards useful and, in particular, the discussions on there about mutiple loss investigations.

Pregnancy loss ~ CLICK HERE

Check these topics out in particular:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=72208.0

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=133885.0

I know you will find plenty of ladies in that are who can advise and support you so please do post and start networking and I am sure you will find it enlightening and, perhaps give you something to work on and offer some hope.

We also have a part of this board dedicated to the memories of angel babies and children. Many members here find it comforting to have a place to talk to / about their lost loved ones so please do feel free to make your own dedications if you feel it will help.

Forget me not ~ CLICK HERE

You might also want to check this area out too. Much of it is about infertility investigations but you might be interested in the immunology side of things:

Investigations & Immunology ~ CLICK HERE

And don't forget we also have an area where you can kick back and forget your woes a bit and have a bit of fun and gossip while you are on FF. Check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie night in the chat room every week (Wednesday at 8pm), where you can meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here. CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT

Newbie chat night is tonight so I would love to see you there. :)

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the Location boards. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

And finally please start posting, asking questions and getting / giving support. I know the members here are wonderfully supportive and you can only get the best from this site if you join in. I really hope you do get something from here that you can take away and put towards making your pregnancies viable so you will soon be holding your own precious baby in your arms and not just your memories and your hearts.

Take care, and please do keep posting. ^Cuddle^

C~x
 

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Hi Milso,

Firstly and most importantly a big  ^hugme^

I am so sorry to hear about your loses, like you I have lost 5 and it's always hard.  You have made the right move and joined this wonderful website where you will get so much support.

I like your idea of your ring with the stars on it.  I have a tattoo with stars for each of my lost babies.

If you need to chat anytime - please don't hesitate to contact me.

Take care.

Sharon xx
 

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Hello Milso

Welcome to FF  :)

I am so sorry to read your story  ^hugme^. I hope you find lots of support and help on here.

Love

Emma x
 

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Hi Milso :)

Welcome to FF! You've been given some fab information on here so far!

Sades referred to a board for you to look at, thanks Sades :-* I'm going to provide a link for the board a stage before that and hope you are using both one after the other in the near future :-*

Trying again after loss
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=137280.210

Sending you lot of ^reiki^ and ^fairydust^

Louj x :-*
 

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Hi Milso,

Firstly I am sending you a massive ^hugme^, I am so sorry for you losses I can not begin to imagine what you have been through, it must be so awful. What a really nice touch your DH did on your wedding day, he sounds so special.

Welcome to FF, Im new too and still trying to find my way round but wanted to pop in and say hi. Good luck with the run that is a great thing to do.

Sending you some  ^fairydust^ too and know that you will get there and wishing you all the luck in the world.

Take care  ^hugme^ XXXX





 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Just wanted to say thanks everyone, im off to have a look at some of the links you left for me
love mil xxx
 
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