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^hello^ everybody

I have been around for a couple of months now, but too scared to dip my toe in. So now decided to jump head first in and tell my story. :-[

Sorry if it is repetitive with other introductions on this site, but after reading your words or encouragement and positivity i feel for the first time since this journey began that i am not alone. ^Cuddle^

After 6 years together we stopped using contraception and hoped for the best unaware at the time that anything was wrong.  After a year of ttc, we just thought that it would take longer for us and decided to get married - my catholic upbringing niggling that perhaps if we did it 'properly' then it would happen.  ^roflmao^ so we threw ourselves into organising the wedding.  It was only 2 years later that we had to face the problem head on and admit to ourselves that perhaps all was not well.  So in 2002 we went to see the nurse (GP didnt take appointments for this 'type of thing').  We were advised that a referal to the local hospital had a waiting list of two years but we could be seen at the BUPA hospital in two weeks, so we paid and was seen in ASAP, and refered for a laproscopy in October of the same year, results were severe endometreosis.  I was devastated (hubby was more positive) and reassured me that it would be OK.  have to admit that he has been my tower of strength along the way he is never negative about the situation.   ^Heart^

It was so difficult talking to anybody about my situation, that we kept it to ourselves, i didnt want anybody to know that i "couldn't", not out of shame but I just couldn't handle the sympathetic tone people tend to adopt when the subject comes up in conversation, or even worse the deliberate avoidance of the subject or silences. At this stage at we hadn't even told our families!!!!  Anyway after the lap i just gave up and one day broke down to my mum, it was her encouragment that finally pushed me to go back to my GP and pose the question WHAT NEXT?????????

I went on a course of hormone treatment for six months (complete waste of time) to suppress my cycle and hopefully the endo would clear up! anyway as i am sure i am not alone the results were.... well there wasn't any results really.  After a frosty reception from the nurse who basically had never come across this type of treatment before and told me every month that this treatment was extremely expensive and was i sure it would work? yes she asked me?????  Went home each month deflated and had to physically stop hubby going to the nurse and telling exactly what he thought of her (being a tax payer all his life etc)

Anyway they didn't work and after a drunken night out with the girlies blabbed my situation to them all.  Must admit they were and still are very supportive but it still hurts when one of them get pregnant - just found out last week that one of my closest friends has fallen pregnant again (3rd child) and it was an accident.  i love her and the kids dearly but it does hurt... she told me when we were on our own as she was worried about my reaction...

Anyway went back to see the consultant and he referred me to St Mary's. Went on the waiting list in October 2003, and in january this year went to a seminar as part of the first stage of IVF treatment. We are now just playing the waiting game again for a letter to drop on the door mat, to take us to the next stage.

I should be grateful really that i haven't gone through a fraction of what some of you have been through and completely admire the strength you all seem to gain when it is needed the most.  (WHO SAID WE ARE THE WEAKER SEX) and how supportive you are of each other.  I really dont know how i feel at the moment as i dont want to place all my hopes on this, cause dont know what i will do if it doesnt work,  cant even think about it, right now.

I started my degree last year which was something that i have always longed to do but never really got round to it.  i think the news that perhaps my life wasn't going to be married, mortgage and 2.4 children made me realise that if it wasn't to be than at least i could work towrds doing a job that i wanted to get up in the morning to do and not be a wage slave cause it paid well... I can throughly recommend going back to education or even learning a new hobby as it is great therapy to lose yourself and switch off from the constant torment in ones mind of 'TTC'

Well, I know I haven't offered any words of encouragment or have been a bearer of good news/positivity but would just like to thank you all for being honest and encouraging me in an indirect way to tell my story. 

Hope to hear from u all soon, and keep your chins up!
Txxx

PS i love these little yellow things :)
 

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Welcome to FF Teddy!!!

I just popped in to say Good Luck on your journey!

While you are waiting for tx to start, why don't you join the Chitter Chatters ... all the ladies are lovely and at various stages in their IF journey.

You could also look up the Endo Board for support, help and info ;)

Belinda xx
 

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Hi Teddy
Just wanted to welcome and give you a big ^hugme^
as after reading your post that what I wanted to do.

I'm not going though the same situation as your self (I'm unexplained) but I know exactly how your feeling regarding telling friends, waiting times for appointments and unsympathetic Doctors and Nurses.
I really hope everything goes well for you and all your baby dreams come true.

Let us knowhow you get on

Nikki :)
 

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^wave^ Teddy and welcome to ff.
Well done for finally taking the plunge and introducing yourself.
Im not in a similar postion so im afraid im of no help in that way but i just wanted to say hello and to wish you lots of luck on your treatment. ^reiki^
Love Summer xXx
 

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^hello^ Teddy
I too am playing the waiting game at the moment, but I can agree with your recomendation to go back to school  ^excercise3^
I went back 3 yrs ago and am looking forward to my finals in my Law degree  :-\
I look forward to chatting more with you on the boards
Good Luck
Dydiexx
 

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Hi Teddy,

Just to say a big  ^hello^ and welcome to FF. I have been a member for about two weeks and the support is great.

Like you I found support from GP not very good as I went to my GP 15 mths ago after 2ttc at the age of 40 and he sent me away with no tests. So I have now started going down the private route. (All those years of paying tax and NI !!!! :mad: :( .  )

I wish you luck in your journey and with your degree, I did a degree as a mature student and it was great.

  ^fairydust^

Take Care

Mist x

 
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