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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi
Sorry If im boring you all now with my endless questions, but I dont know what to think. After 2 BFPs I would be 6 weeks this Sunday, but this morning started bleeding heavily. The clinic said come in Monday for bloods but I took the advice of some of the girls on this site and called the EPU at my local hospital earlier this evening. They said come in straight away so I went. They did a urine test and it was BFN. They said Im not pregnant. I felt completely humiliated. Given the fact that I had tx and told them I did get two BFPs they checked my cervix and said Im not having a miscarriage. Im so confused. Why would I not be having a miscarriage if I tested positive already? What the hell happenned? Why would I get two BFPs then just start bleeding two weeks later, but this not be classed as a miscarriage, but not be pregnant anymore either? I just dont know what to think. They took bood test results will be available Monday. If anyone has any experience they can share I would be most grateful  :'(
Thank you
xx
 

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Gingerbreadgirl - so sorry to hear your sad news  ^hugme^.  The EPU's comments that you are not having a miscarriage seem really odd to me given that you have had a BFP - I think they are wrong and that was is happening to you should definitely be classed as a miscarriage.

Thinking of you and hope your blood test results prove you right and them wrong.  ^hugme^

Some1

xx
 

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I am so sorry to hear about your experience, some people are just tactless and insensitive.  ^hugme^    Aren't you going to your clinic tomorrow? They should be able to tell you more, they're the professionals, you might have just had someone that wasn't familiar with the type of treatment you've been through.
It's completely gutting however it ends up, if I were in your situation I would go and get myself a hpt just to make sure, but then I'm a paranoid neurotic  ^idiot^
I don't know at what stage a pregnancy is classed as chemical, but from my understanding you are too far gone for it to be that and so officially it must be a m/c.
I am so sorry and please let us know how it goes tomorrow.
 

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Hi

I am really sorry to hear what has happened  ^eyes^  Have you had any bloods done to confirm what the EPU have said ???

x x xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hi girls
Thank you for your lovely replies. I am feeling a lot calmer since last night and DH is back home now from his trip so that has been a relief to see him and not deal with this by myself. Hmmm I havent done another HPT cos I just thought the EPU must have got it right  ^idiot^ Bloods from EPU will be phoned thru to me on Monday. I also have to call Herts and Essex on Monday and see what they say about coming in for bloods (they didnt give anything away yesterday as to what might be the plan of action). Im still bleeding today. Doesnt feel like AF, but no pain either. Just odd twinges like bad wind (sorry tmi). I would be astounded if our beanies survived this. In my heart I feel that maybe the beanies did implant but didnt grow for long hence my lack of symptoms. Still baffled as to why it took me nearly two weeks to bleed tho  ^idiot^ Thanks again for your replies. I guess I will have an answer on Monday as to what is going on and will let you know. Have a lovely evening xxxx

 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Hi girls
Well, so much for feling calmer. I think I was in shock over the weekend and trying to convince myself it didnt matter - have spent two days in tears  :'(

I just wanted to let you know that my bloods came back from hospital and they confirmed very low levels so def not pregnant.

I also wanted to say to the other girls who have been worried about bleeding that the gyn that I saw at EPU told me that she has seen massive bleeds and a perfectly healthy baby at the end of it. So hang in there. I took the advice of some of the girls on this site to contact my local EPU and im glad I did for my own peace of mind (I know mine was not a good outcome but you have to know one way or the other). If anyone has any worries at all, then please please call your local hospital straight away. Dont sit at home freaking out for a whole day like I did - it did me no favours at all.

Best wishes for all your bumps
I cant wait to join you again soon (although think a little break first to get over this)

GG
xxxx

PS prob not the right place to put this, but just wanted to say how much I loved my little one(s) even though they only stayed with me for a few days  ^hugme^
 

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Hi

So sorry to read you post  ^eyes^

Just wanted to send you a huge  ^hugme^  ^hugme^

x x x x
 

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Oh honey

Im so so sorry to hear this- its so unfair

You take care of yourself and sending you big hugs  ^Cuddle^ - i think a break would be good for you but wish you all the best for the future

Love Kez xx
 

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Im so sorry hun  ^hugme^  ^hugme^
 

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GG,

With respect to your P.S. Here's a poem I read on the pregnancy loss forum that I thought may help.  ^hugme^ Diane x

What Makes a Mother"
by Jennifer Wasik

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say...

A mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother
when your baby is not with you?

Yes, you can He replied,
With confidence in His voice.
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And others just for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say:

"We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a mom
Who has so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.

I miss my mommy Oh so much,
But I visit every day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And I whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here."

So, you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are not blue.
Your babies are here in MY home,
They'll be at Heaven's gate waiting for you.

So now you see what makes a mother,
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day,
And they'll know you were the best one!
 

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Hi

I just wanted to say how really sorry I am to hear your sad news ^hugme^

Sending my love and hugs

God bless
Sarah
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Hi
Just wanted to say thank you for all your lovely messages of support and bubbles. It means such a lot to me, being part of fertility friends. Every step along the way I feel I have earned my graduation to a new board (TTC, 2WW, pregnancy) and in spite of what has happened (or maybe because of it) I hope I can support others going forwards  ^hugme^. Best wishes to you all.
GG
xx

PS As for us, we have decided (if we can bear the wait  ;D) to put treatment on hold until next year, and go back for our frosties in 2009. In the meantime we have booked a much needed holiday and we cant wait...  :)
 
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