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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi ladies, not sure if this is the right spot for the post as I am brand new on the forum but hoping you can help with your opinions and insight! 

Heres my story. I am 30 years old. My Hubby is 34. I went off the contraceptive pill about 7 months ago and we have been 'trying' for our first child ever since. We have had many talks and are on the same page - or so I thought (more on this down the line). When I say we are trying I mean we were hoping to just go with the flow and 'not try - but not try and avoid either', since this was all very new to us. I did try to log my BBT and calculate OV with tests, but a few months in I had suspicions that I was not a regular gal with regular cycles and ovulation. Although I know it can take some time to adjust after going off the pill, I had been on it (on and off) for about 10 years and even prior to the pill my cycles were never regular, always every 5-8 weeks and I have always been prone to mood swings as have had progesterone deficiency in the past. Now they were all over the place, so I made an appointment to see a gyno to ensure everything down there was in order (as I also have had some irregular pap smears over the years)

I was not entirely surprised when the doctor diagnosed me with PCOS via scan and blood test as about 5 years ago a doctor advised he thought I might have PCOS but this was not confirmed. Due to this diagnosis and the doctors warning that due to my BBT and OV tests being inconclusive, I probably was not ovlating, and my low progestone levels, I was prescribed Duphaston, a progesterone pill to bring on my absent periods, in addition to Femara (Letrozole) a pill to induce ovulation. I am trying to get my head around all of this as I dont feel my doctor answered enough of my questions and I am a bit worried.

I am only on day 5 of the Duphaston and I have cried and cried, put on weight (despite being on a Low GI plan and according to calorie intake should have lost weight this week) and have had hot flushes. This is frightening as I have dealt with depression before and I work hard on my diet and mindset to keep things in check. So of course I feel like I have no control over my own body. Then I hear the ovulation stuff is tough also. I know it is all worthwhile for the pure chance of having a baby however I guess I am just wanting to talk to people who relate, as whilst my hubby tries, he is a bit freaked out by this change in mood and doesnt really know what to say. Other friends are either not able to have kids or have just had kids without problems, or are not even in a relationship so not able to relate.

On this note also, after we had discussed all of this and decided we would be thrilled if I got pregnant, I dont think my hubby fully understands the toll this stuff takes on my body and seems to think this is supercharging my fertility and so if it happens it will not be as nature intended. I tried to explain that 'going with the flow' was all good for those with regular cycles however if we went with the flow it could take a lot of years to happen naturally, and if I was feeling so stressed this early on I could not imagine being 10 years in still with no success. Its easy to say you wont get obsessed and then bang - you are on here pouring your heart out. When its you putting the things in your body then of course its hard not to think about its effects on you.

He feels I launched into this so quickly and got on the medication without discussing it - but I see it as a doctor telling me she was concerned and putting me on something to help me have a period and ovulate, like anyone with a normal cycle. This is allowing us to just have a shot each month I told him - like everyone with a normal cycle. This doesnt guarantee pregnancy. Anyway, naturally with my being moody and all over the place and him having to adjust from 'trying without pressure' to maybe having to try at certain times now that it will be known if and when I ovulate has caused some problems. And as you know when there is tension in a marraige sex is the last thing on anyones mind. And its horrible to think any sex outside of OV time is wasted but of course when you are taking this stuff you surely want to ensure you have sex and are in with a chance, right? otherwise its a lot for your body to go through.

I am torn because I feel with PCOS you are either a) on the contraceptive pill and not trying (to keep cycles regulated) b) not on anything but not having cycles often if at all and never knowing if or when you ovulate or c) on medication as I am now, which is not cheap, invasive on my body and moods but actually gives us a shot each month like everyone else.

I am worried he wants to carry on with option b but now I have seen a doc and am concerned about my body and condition I want to at least do what I can do ensure I am as healthy and fertile as possible (option c). I guess I could carry on with treatment and just not tell him if I am ovulating so not to put pressue on him but at the same time I worry I will resent him for being selfish as I am pumping myself full of pills to ensure I am ovulating each month and having the side effects but all he has to do is have sex. Poor baby! Or I wonder is it possible to not take the progesterone, wait until I have a (rare) natural period) and still take the ovulation inducing pills? or do you need all of them together to support the entire cycle? Ah I dont know. I am sorry, I have researched so much yet know so little and really need a shoulder to cry on. Am I being selfish for at least wanting my husband to agree to try and have sex on command (on top of regular in the mood shagging) a couple of times in a cycle? Whilst I put myself through this? Do I have a right to feel angry after a month of taking pills and paying for them and the toll on my body that my hubby might have not been in the mood when I was ov thus a wasted shot at concieving? 

Anyway I am sure I sound selfish too and I bet I am not the only one so would appreciate opinions from any ladies out there.  Thank you all  ^hugme^


 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Anyone?!  :'(
 

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Hi Kylieboo

I have PCOS and i was taking Clomid to help me ovulate. I found it hard trying to tell hubby when the right time was for us to jump into bed and do the business as it was putting him under pressure also so in the end i didn't tell him when my fertile days were and things improved  ;D. Also the only bit of advice to you is to try and relax, i got to the point where i was obsessing about everything to do with getting pregnant and didn't think it would ever happen to me but thanks to god and my hubby of course! I am just over 11 weeks pregnant. It has just been confirmed that i also have diabetics so i know that it might not be all plain sailing but hubby is very very supportive and i couldn't ask for anything more.

babydust to you  ^reiki^
Stephb
xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you Steph and congratulation!!!  ^hugme^

Were you taking Clomid alone during your regular cycles? or progesterone and other things to bring on a cycle? I am just curious as not sure if you have to take all (progesterone/ovulation inducer/metformin etc or if you can just take one or another.

Anyways some good advice, hard not to think about it when taking things daily but will try and keep cycles from hubby and let it happen naturally without pressure. xxx
 

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I was taking clomid on its own and i am now taking metformin for my diabetics. Right at the beginning I had to take an ovulation inducer and only needed it the once.

^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^hugme^ ^pray^

xx
 

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Hey,
I have had many problems with the dear husband!! LOL
Unfortunately he also has fertility issues, low sperm, poor morphology etc and this caused a MASSIVE strain on our relationship because originally we thought it was just my health problems then discovered we had a double whammy to deal with! But things have improved over time with me completely dropping the pressure of "doing it" and making it fun again (we went through a stage of hardly sleeping together from ones years end to the next!) Was hoping for an immaculate conception!
I think it takes men a lot longer to digest and deal with things so just try talking to your husband loads, explain your feelings in simple man terms and try and inject fun back in to everything!
xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks heaps Rainbow Bright  ^hugme^

its a lot to deal with hey. As the fertile times are about to begin (and also in time for the weekend, where things tend to flow a little more naturally in the bedroom dept as often too knackered in the week to bother!) will just initiate the deed and not mention too much about it. As for the additional sessions we will have to try and cram in to maximise baby potential, well I will work on that!! he i a once a week kinda guy, always has been, just not up for it 24/7! Makes it a bit challenging but he has agreed to get on board!! Simple man terms is definately the way to go, I agree! this stuff just makes their head spin! good luck to you with everything x
 

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I can definately relate to how your feeling. I have just had a blazing row with DH about the whole thing, I like to talk and a good cry and he just bottles his feelings he says is his way of protecting himself. I feel like we are both of different pages of the same book... I can definately feel your frustration  :'(
 

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Hubby and I have had many of these conversations... We both have very stressful jobs working long hours so finding time when we are both in the mood has always been an issue for us, and this combined with then having to suddenly do lots as specific times has left him feeling a bit like a performing monkey  :)

So we have talk about it and come up with a plan.... We try to keep a regular amount of the deed for the most of the month and then just up it slightly for those very days where I may be ovulating.

I too have had to battle with feeling what's the point when I am not ovulating anyway  :( but hubby kindly pointed out and reminded me that we are a couple first and foremost and that regular stuff keeps us close and is important to show each other we love each other...  his words put my feelings in perspective and made me realise that its important to share my feelings about ovulating, trying and all that comes with it, but it is also really important to remember that you are still husband and wife ...

I'm not sure my rambling helps, but i guess all I'm saying is yep at that crucial time it is about trying for a baby, but the rest of the time, remember how you were before you thought of trying for family and just enjoy being together  ;)

Kat xx
 
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