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Hi ladies

We moved my DS,  nearly 3, from a cotbed to his bed, cotbed with the sides removed, on 14 November.  The first week was fine he settled himself and stayed in bed.  The next couple of weeks were a biit more challenging, but he was always alseep for 8 at the latest and up from 7ish.

This week however, is a totally different story.  Put him to bed last night at 7.15 and he finally settled at 11.15.  We tried staying in the room with him then leaving when we thought he was asleep, but as soon as we left the room he was out of bed like a shot. When he finally fell asleep at 11.15 he woke at 2.15 and wouldn't settle my dh sat in with him the whole night, thankfully he was off work today.

Tonight, we decided to try the return to bed method the way they do on Supernanny.  He went to bed at 7ish and for an hour I returned him to bed without saying anything, he went through all the stages, wanted me to stay, wanted a cuddle, wanted daddy, didn't like mummy, flinging himslef of the floor and screaming etc. After an hour I got my dh to take over and he's been doing the same, think as I type has finally settled. 

Can some one tell me what we should to do help him settle easier now he's in his bed.  It's so hard going and we're at our wits end. 

Sorry for rant.

A-MM
 

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Didn't want to read and run.  Sending you huge  ^hugme^  for what you're going through.  I'm sure someone will be by shortly with words of advice and comfort. 


Love and hugs, Felix xx
 

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Hiya

To be honest I think its just a case of giving it some time and being very consistent. Personally I used to pop Daisy back to bed and then walk back out, I didnt stay with her, I just let her cry it out then they realise that they have to settle themselves.

We took the bars off quite a lot younger and I think to a certain extent that helps as they dont have as much freedom of thought, and often I would find Daisy sitting in bed, no bars, shouting for me in the morning so that I could get her out....  she hadnt clocked there was nothing keeping her in  ::) . A few days of ignoring the noise and turning the tv up usually works.

R
 

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Hi we had this problem with twins they were 2 when sides came off, I sat in chair outside and done super nanny routine, i prepared for a long night ie had tea first, jammies on, positioned tv in bedroom so i could see it, oh and a glass of wine lol

took about 10 days and he finally got the hint, after about a week he would go queit then try again 10 min later but ater about 10 days that was them.

That was the first time, we then moved and because i wasnt prepared for it, instead of returning to bed with no contact i was giving him into trouble as didnt have the patience with just moving house, well that well and truly mucked everything up.  done it for 2 months, never giving in even if it meant hours on end, it just didnt work the second time round.  my partner suggested holding door which i didnt think was right, but we now do that, if he just mucking about he just gets left but if screaming we go in every 20 min to return to bed, think he associated big bed with being seperated from his twin sister.

we are now using a private sleep lady as had so many problems from it, and with 2 of them and partner working abroad just couldnt get it back under control, bed times were always so good as in good routing but the minute they climbed over cot, chaos begun.

I would perservere am sure after about 7-10 days you will see improvement, i wrote it all down so I could see it was getting better, I think one night between the 2 of them I returned 167 times, that was when he was in bed, striaght back out straight bacthere

just make sure no contact at all (even if he is driving you mad as he will look for the negative attention, it is hard a few deep breathes oh and the wine lol), and what I would do a few times is hold the door for a second to upset him then put him back in.

As I say it worked perfect the first time as I was prepared for it to be long nights but second time round was not and never got the control back again.
 

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I have one word - GROCLOCK!
Best invention ever!!! DS1 was a great sleeper when we moved him into a bed and I didn't want to run the risk of that changing so we used a Groclock from day one. It is more powerful than anything either of us say  ;D
DS1 has always loved it and he always stays put until 8am.
Like the others have said, consistency is certainly the key in anything like this. Since DS1 turned 3 he has had more bad dreams. We started getting this behaviour where he called out that he'd had a bad dream as soon as we said goodnight. We both go in and just lay him back and don't speak and he soon gets very bored of it. Hope this soon sorts itself out for you. I have come to realise over the last 3+ years that our LOs will throw challenges at us every step of the way
 

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Hi there I too have the same problem with our DS! He jumped out cot one nite and fell and squashed his nose so took bars off cot bed. 1st Nite of supernanny back to bed routine 75 times, 2nd 60, we are on nite 5 and still around 25 times. He will stay and fall asleep but then bolts out of bed and screams for hugs!!!! I am in and out out 2-5 times a nite and totally done in!!! Don't want to give up though. Even tried a gate on his door but he freaked so its now on our bedroom door??? Don't know if its a good idea or not???? May check out the grow clock idea??? Any tips please???? Oh yeah and he always wants mummy!!!!! So gona try and get daddy to do it, when off at xmas, he works shifts so I do bedtime generally all time. Anyhow nice to see we are not alone.

I think too the more head strong the child the harder we have it. One nite Innes (who is 2 years 4 months) said to me mummy I will win and get in your bed!!!!!!

keep in touch ladies

Jules XXX
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank ladies for your replies.

Jules- ((HUGS)) to you.  My DS was the same always wanting mummy any time daddy took over he screamed for mummy.  I think he now gets the idea that we are serious about staying in bed, so when I put him down, he shouts on daddy and vice versa.  He tries every trick in the book to stay out bed.I hope your plan for daddy to try bedtime works out well for you.

Hans- That's my problem DS can keep going for hours sometimes when we put him down then walk out.  Think I'll investigate the groclock, as DS is fascinated with the time. 

Crazy- I find it hard with one, 2 must be impossible.  I really hope the sleep lady helps.  I agree what I find difficult is the fact my boy slept 12-13 hours a night no problem, now things have changed so dramatically.  Loads of wine, now that sounds like a plan:)

Stalyvegas- We probably should have put him in a bed earlier too, but I just wasn't ready for that move, although no dout he was.  Glad to hear your wee one settles well now.

Felix 42 - thanks.

Well I think we might be getting somewhere. We decided to perservere trying the return to bed method and DS is settling a bit quicker than he had been, although it can still take a while, but we can see progress.  He wakes through the night too which I find is a really killer, but we're taking him to the toilet, not having a conversation and doingthe return to bed metho then too, which is very hard going.  He's getting up at 6.30 and we try to get him to settle till 7, but when we're working it's impossible cause I'm having my shower for work and dh is leaving the house.  Any suggestions on what to do when I'm in the shower, dh has left for work and DS is up and about?
Just thought I'd up date you and say thanks for your replies, it really does help to know I'm not alone and that these techniques do work. 
Have a lovely Christmas.

A=M

 
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