[catmadblonde]

HI THERE, JUST FOUND THIS SITE, SO THOUGHT I WOULD SAY HI AND TELL YOU ALL ALITTLE ABOUT ME.
I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TO DISCUSS IVF IN MARCH 2005, MY PARTNER AND I DONT KNOW REALLY WHAT TO EXPECT. I HAD AN ECTOPIC PREGNANCY IN NOVEMBER 2004 AND LOST MY LEFT TUBE, ALSO MY RIGHT TUBE WAS FOUND TO BE DAMAGED. SO IVF IS THE NEXT STEP. I HAVE HEARD SO MANY STORIES THOUGH, THE DAY AFTER MY OPERATION WHICH  WAS ABDOMINAL SURGERY, I FOUND MY SURGEON TO BE ASKING ME , WHICH I THOUGHT WAS QUITE INSENSITIVE QUESTIONS, EG, ARE YOU MARRIED ? HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND YOURE PARTNER BEEN TOGETHER? DO YOU INTEND TO STAY TOGETHER? NOT ONLY HAVING TO COPE WITH LOSING MY FIRST CHILD, I ONLY FOUND OUT THAT MORNING THAT I COULD NOT CONCIEVE NATURALLY. AS IT HAPPENS MY PARTNER AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER 4 YEARS NOW, AND HAVING THIS HAPPEN TO US, HAS MADE US EVEN CLOSER. SO CAN ANYONE TELL ME, DOES IT MAKE A DIFFERENCE IF YOU ARE MARRIED, OR HOW LONG YOUVE BEEN TOGETHER AS TO HOW LONG YOU WAIT FOR IVF? 

 

[Pilchardcat]

Welcome to Fertility Friends

Sorry to hear about your losses.

From my own experience I think as long as you are known to have problems conceiving then you don't have to be married.  I was married for 7 years TTC for 9 in total and with my clinic for 6 years before my divorce, I then went back to my clinic with my new partner 3 years later and they treated me no problem (they knew I was the one with the problem) and were very accomodating

Good luck with your treatments
Amanda x

 

[Mrs CW]

Hi
I'm so sorry it sounds like you've had a rough old time there.  And a pretty intrusive introduction to fertility treatment..... I am not married but have been with my partner for 9 years.  He has children by a previous marriage. 
It shouldn't matter whether you're married or not but you should know that for NHS treatment your GP is usually asked to sign a form to say that there are no reasons they know of why you should not be given IVF (ie social or medical factors).  This is normal, but this shouldn't include questions like this about how much you love or want to stay with your partner.  I've never been asked this, and although I'm self funding, my drugs are paid for on the NHS, so my doctor did have to sign the form.  She doesn't even know how long we've been together or how much I want to stay with him!

You should also know that in some areas the NHS trust will prioritise people with no existing children, and may choose not to fund treatment if one of the partners already has a child.  Horribly unfair but sadly it does happen. 

Hope this reassures you.  Sounds like the surgeon was overstepping the mark. You get some funny ones but it really doesn't help when you're so upset and worried.  Poor you.
good luck with it all,
Claire