I have been on this website a number of times but not for some months. However in an attempt to pull my self together I vowed to post something and share my thoughts. I am a man (37) and seemingly a minority contributor. Please be nice to me.
I have azoospermia; news which came as a shock not least in the way that it was presented to me. Nice bedside manner!!! No point on dwelling on that now. I have come to terms with this despite labouring under the misapprehension for all of my life thus far that I have tip top health etc. Biopsies in Aug 04 proved that it is all over for me now.
My initial reaction to the suggestion of donor sperm was the same as my wife's - but we still had a 50/50 hope to cling to at that time. However, circumstances changed and we have found ourselves considering things that we had dismissed out of hand some time ago.
We are now on the threshold of starting the treatment and went to the clinic yesterday - and this visit has pompted this message.
I had no idea what the selection of donor would be like. I was surprised by the small selection. We had been to see councillors and discussed the process and the varoius characteristics which the donors would have noted down. This lead me to believe that height blood group and eye colour were a starting point and perhaps you would just look at the other comments.
Reality was somewhat different. There were only about 12 donor on the list (I went to a clinic in a major city - what must it be like elsewhere) . I am 6'2". There was no-one in this category or close. As for the other characteristics this was hopeless as well. My expectations were clearly unrealsitic. You would have thought that after the rollercoaster of 2004 I should have known better.
I am still mulling all this over and my thoughts/emotions are not yet properly formed . I had thought that we would choose a donor who would not be anonymous therefore preserving the right to enquire in future years (if successful). I know that the law is shortly to change and I thought that the right to choice in the future should be there if at all possible (even though we are still under the old law). That seems even more dillusional given the short list we were presented with yesterday all anonymous.
Any words of wisdom welcome. Sorry for the long introduction.
I have azoospermia; news which came as a shock not least in the way that it was presented to me. Nice bedside manner!!! No point on dwelling on that now. I have come to terms with this despite labouring under the misapprehension for all of my life thus far that I have tip top health etc. Biopsies in Aug 04 proved that it is all over for me now.
My initial reaction to the suggestion of donor sperm was the same as my wife's - but we still had a 50/50 hope to cling to at that time. However, circumstances changed and we have found ourselves considering things that we had dismissed out of hand some time ago.
We are now on the threshold of starting the treatment and went to the clinic yesterday - and this visit has pompted this message.
I had no idea what the selection of donor would be like. I was surprised by the small selection. We had been to see councillors and discussed the process and the varoius characteristics which the donors would have noted down. This lead me to believe that height blood group and eye colour were a starting point and perhaps you would just look at the other comments.
Reality was somewhat different. There were only about 12 donor on the list (I went to a clinic in a major city - what must it be like elsewhere) . I am 6'2". There was no-one in this category or close. As for the other characteristics this was hopeless as well. My expectations were clearly unrealsitic. You would have thought that after the rollercoaster of 2004 I should have known better.
I am still mulling all this over and my thoughts/emotions are not yet properly formed . I had thought that we would choose a donor who would not be anonymous therefore preserving the right to enquire in future years (if successful). I know that the law is shortly to change and I thought that the right to choice in the future should be there if at all possible (even though we are still under the old law). That seems even more dillusional given the short list we were presented with yesterday all anonymous.
Any words of wisdom welcome. Sorry for the long introduction.
