[Guest]

Hi I am new to this site but glad i found it.  I am single and would like to have a child at 45 and require sperm donation.  Why have i left it so late?  Never found anyone i wanted to have a child with.  However, I would like to ask has anyone had a child either naturally or by IVF at 45.  If by IVF did you use your own eggs?  My doctor says women do have babies in their 40s. But i think they are few and far between.

 

[jayne-ann]

Good luck I know quite a few women who conceive in their 40's . I am a midwife and know someone of 48 who conceived naturally.

Jayne-ann

 

[Guest]

Good luck I know quite a few women who conceive in their 40's . I am a midwife and know someone of 48 who conceived naturally.

Jayne-ann

thank you - there is always that ray of hope. Someone mentioned at one of the Open seminars i went to that Cherie Blair had concieved at 46. The speaker said well she is a non contraceptive taking catholic. well i have never been on the pill either - I wasnt aware how much birth control upsets the hormonal balance.

 

[Zeybani]

Hi Shad
You are not alone. I am exactly in the same boat as you, 45 single TTC with donner sperms. I am a nerve wreck somehow over the last few weeks i have started to believe it can happen to me too. I dont know how to contact you by email do you know?, it will be very nice to communicate with you at a more personal level. I know the pain the agony and the despair. But lets be positive and hold each others hand we will reach there.

 

[Guest]

Hi Shad
You are not alone. I am exactly in the same boat as you, 45 single TTC with donner sperms. I am a nerve wreck somehow over the last few weeks i have started to believe it can happen to me too. I dont know how to contact you by email do you know?, it will be very nice to communicate with you at a more personal level. I know the pain the agony and the despair. But lets be positive and hold each others hand we will reach there.

Hi Zelly
I would start the process today if i could find donor sperm which matches the characteristics i am looking for. Unfortunately i didnt know how difficult it was to find donors of african descent. also i have been told i have fibroids and i am wondering if i need to get them removed first. so many questions!

 

[♥JJ1♥]

Fibroids can stop you getting pregnant so might be worth consulting with GP/gyane
L x

 

[Guest]

Fibroids can stop you getting pregnant so might be worth consulting with GP/gyane
L x

I already did. initially they told me not to bother with them if they are not causing me any problems. They gave me info on different procedures to remove them. They obviously thought i was too old have children and didnt really recommend any of the procedures

 

[suitcase of dreams]

Zelly - just so you know, if you click on the little pen looking icon (it's bright green when the person is online, although you can also message them when they are not) on the left hand side underneath people's profile name/details etc, you can send them a private message - which is kind of like emailing...ie the message can only be seen by you and that person

Hope that helps!
Laura
x

 

[Kazzie]

Hi Shad
I also have fibroids (3) which came to light when I had my first internal scan with the Lister. However, they did say they were only small and wouldn't interfere with any treatment (unlike my age    !!) at the moment. Have you been told that they will cause problems with pregnancy? You might be ok....
kazzie

 

[Guest]

Hi Shad
I also have fibroids (3) which came to light when I had my first internal scan with the Lister. However, they did say they were only small and wouldn't interfere with any treatment (unlike my age !!) at the moment. Have you been told that they will cause problems with pregnancy? You might be ok....
kazzie

Hi Kazzie
i havent been given a definite yes. They are intramural so it is possible. I have about 6 the largest being 4cm which started in 1998 with just two. I am going to see the consultant in June and see what my options are. In the meantime i will continue to search for a sperm donor which is really my biggest hurdle. I have been looking at FSDW who have over 1000 donors but they are not anonymous.

 

[Bells]

Hi Shad

I would be very careful about having your fibroids removed and suggest that you seek second, third and even fourth opinions before doing so.  I was diagnosed with fibroids and I was given conflicting advice one to leave them alone and two to have them removed.  I opted for the second and somehow during the op they managed to damage the lining.  I've had three failed IVFs and each time a thin lining has been the issue.

Bells.

 

[Guest]

Hi Shad

I would be very careful about having your fibroids removed and suggest that you seek second, third and even fourth opinions before doing so. I was diagnosed with fibroids and I was given conflicting advice one to leave them alone and two to have them removed. I opted for the second and somehow during the op they managed to damage the lining. I've had three failed IVFs and each time a thin lining has been the issue.

Bells.

that is terrible. i always thought you had to have fibroids removed to conceived particularly in my case where i have so many. one is distorting the womb

 

[muddypaws]

Hi Shad,
Hope I am not butting in but when I read your messages I felt a need to reply. I am just about to turn 40 and like you feel I have left things late, also due to not finding the right man. I guess I thought that once I made a decision to go it alone that all I needed was some sperm, an IUI and I'd be pregnant. 3 IUIs and one ICSI cycle with 2 ETs later and I am not pregnant. I have good results on all hormone tests and have had an HSG, which showed everything to be normal with fallopian tubes and uterus.  I had lots of follicles at EC and 16 eggs, of which 13 fertilised but only 4 made good enough embryos. I guess what I am saying is that pregnancy at this age is more difficult and once you start the process you realise that you just need to get on with it and this includes being pretty assertive about your needs and putting in a lot of energy. I went on FSDW for a bit and even met up with a guy who wanted to do co- parenting - I realised that this wasn't the best plan (especially when he told me that he would have problems with me having a relationship with another man if I had his child  ) and that going for a donor that had been checked over and was not involved was a much better idea; you have control over your pregnancy, child and life and there is nobody else complicating things - obviously a partner would be nice but I didn't think that a man I barely knew was a good idea! Clinics won't let you use sperm that hasn't been checked over and then frozen for six months so bringing your own donor into the picture takes time. There are clinics that have sperm available (I'm using Manchester Fertility Services but London has a few) but I know that donors of african/caribbean background are rare.

From one single 40 something to another, I'd say get to a clinic, get advice about the fibroids, make some tough decisions about donor and go for it as soon as possible. Not that I should make any recommendations as I'm no expert but I'd go straight to IVF and so agree with your thinking.

I am hopeful and want to try for as long as possible with my own eggs, which means getting on with it asap. I guess that I would choose going with my own eggs and doing it soon rather than having to wait too long for the right donor - but I realise it's a tough choice. I wish you the best of luck... .

Muddylane

 

[Guest]

Hi Shad,
Hope I am not butting in but when I read your messages I felt a need to reply. I am just about to turn 40 and like you feel I have left things late, also due to not finding the right man. I guess I thought that once I made a decision to go it alone that all I needed was some sperm, an IUI and I'd be pregnant. 3 IUIs and one ICSI cycle with 2 ETs later and I am not pregnant. I have good results on all hormone tests and have had an HSG, which showed everything to be normal with fallopian tubes and uterus. I had lots of follicles at EC and 16 eggs, of which 13 fertilised but only 4 made good enough embryos. I guess what I am saying is that pregnancy at this age is more difficult and once you start the process you realise that you just need to get on with it and this includes being pretty assertive about your needs and putting in a lot of energy. I went on FSDW for a bit and even met up with a guy who wanted to do co- parenting - I realised that this wasn't the best plan (especially when he told me that he would have problems with me having a relationship with another man if I had his child ) and that going for a donor that had been checked over and was not involved was a much better idea; you have control over your pregnancy, child and life and there is nobody else complicating things - obviously a partner would be nice but I didn't think that a man I barely knew was a good idea! Clinics won't let you use sperm that hasn't been checked over and then frozen for six months so bringing your own donor into the picture takes time. There are clinics that have sperm available (I'm using Manchester Fertility Services but London has a few) but I know that donors of african/caribbean background are rare.

From one single 40 something to another, I'd say get to a clinic, get advice about the fibroids, make some tough decisions about donor and go for it as soon as possible. Not that I should make any recommendations as I'm no expert but I'd go straight to IVF and so agree with your thinking.

I am hopeful and want to try for as long as possible with my own eggs, which means getting on with it asap. I guess that I would choose going with my own eggs and doing it soon rather than having to wait too long for the right donor - but I realise it's a tough choice. I wish you the best of luck... .

Muddylane

Hi Muddylane
FSDW is food for thought and i am not sure i could use a sperm donor from there unless he agreed to go to a clinic and donate sperm. i still dont fully understand how it works.

i want to start ivf because i am trying to increase my chances at my age and i know ivf can detect chromosome disorders like down syndromes in embryos. i want to go for blood tests that the clinics advise but at the moment no period for 36 days. i am thinking am i going into menopause could mother nature be so cruel?

 

[Kazzie]

Hi Shad
maybe you didn't get yr period through stress - and going through and thinking about all this can be mega stressful ? Might be worth having a few blood tests if you haven't already - (sorry if you 've mentioned it my memory isn't great at the moment)to see how your hormone levels are : FSH, AMH, LH etc I had mine done at the Lister. Again, my experience at the Lister: first time: not great... second time: fantastic... treated with respect, kindness and understanding and 100% support - agreeing to treat me despite concerns for us at the money we would be spending when outlook not good.......zero births in my age group so far... (you are a younger so better odds)
all the best
K

 

[Guest]

Hi Shad
maybe you didn't get yr period through stress - and going through and thinking about all this can be mega stressful ? Might be worth having a few blood tests if you haven't already - (sorry if you 've mentioned it my memory isn't great at the moment)to see how your hormone levels are : FSH, AMH, LH etc I had mine done at the Lister. Again, my experience at the Lister: first time: not great... second time: fantastic... treated with respect, kindness and understanding and 100% support - agreeing to treat me despite concerns for us at the money we would be spending when outlook not good.......zero births in my age group so far... (you are a younger so better odds)
all the best
K

Hi Kazzie are the odds really any better for women of my age? i dont seem to be able to find any research on the HFEA site and when i went to the bridge centre they said it was very poor. If my doctor refers me to the Lister will i be seen any quicker?

 

[Kazzie]

Hi Shad
Yes - odds at 45 are very poor- but from the point of view of getting a clinic to treat you , you have a better chance at 45 than at 47 - then hardly any clinics will treat you using own eggs - 2 years makes a massive difference where that's concerned - anyone reading this: feel free to correct me if i'm wrong (to be fair to them amongst other issues they don't want to waste our money or raise our hopes but of course if we choose to go ahead anyway ..... ) I would ring the Lister ASAP to see how quickly you can get in - at least get that initial consult in (if you feel the Lister is the one for you). I don't think I waited too long for the 1st appt a couple of years ago. I know after my 2nd consult with a different consultant this year they were willing to start ivf immediately - the same day -as it was the right day on my cycle and time is against me (understatement!). Sadly for various reasons I couldn't take advantage of that so am looking at July....In my opinion, if you want someone who is both realistic and sympathetic as I have mentioned before, I can recommend Dr Faris. Other people on here will, I'm sure, recommend their own favourites at the Lister too
You could also try GCRM in Glasgow - I found them very helpful on the phone (they did my AMH test).
hope this helps
K