Hi Shad,
Hope I am not butting in but when I read your messages I felt a need to reply. I am just about to turn 40 and like you feel I have left things late, also due to not finding the right man. I guess I thought that once I made a decision to go it alone that all I needed was some sperm, an IUI and I'd be pregnant. 3 IUIs and one ICSI cycle with 2 ETs later and I am not pregnant. I have good results on all hormone tests and have had an HSG, which showed everything to be normal with fallopian tubes and uterus. I had lots of follicles at EC and 16 eggs, of which 13 fertilised but only 4 made good enough embryos. I guess what I am saying is that pregnancy at this age is more difficult and once you start the process you realise that you just need to get on with it and this includes being pretty assertive about your needs and putting in a lot of energy. I went on FSDW for a bit and even met up with a guy who wanted to do co- parenting - I realised that this wasn't the best plan (especially when he told me that he would have problems with me having a relationship with another man if I had his child

) and that going for a donor that had been checked over and was not involved was a much better idea; you have control over your pregnancy, child and life and there is nobody else complicating things - obviously a partner would be nice but I didn't think that a man I barely knew was a good idea! Clinics won't let you use sperm that hasn't been checked over and then frozen for six months so bringing your own donor into the picture takes time. There are clinics that have sperm available (I'm using Manchester Fertility Services but London has a few) but I know that donors of african/caribbean background are rare.
From one single 40 something to another, I'd say get to a clinic, get advice about the fibroids, make some tough decisions about donor and go for it as soon as possible. Not that I should make any recommendations as I'm no expert but I'd go straight to IVF and so agree with your thinking.
I am hopeful and want to try for as long as possible with my own eggs, which means getting on with it asap. I guess that I would choose going with my own eggs and doing it soon rather than having to wait too long for the right donor - but I realise it's a tough choice. I wish you the best of luck...

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Muddylane