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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We have male factor infertility, and basically my hubbie has been on hormones for a long time to try and kickstart his system into producing swimmers.  This doesn't seem t be working and ds has been suggested a couple of times now.  The thing is that we are christians and I'm not sure if I can reconsile the idea of having another man's child.  But I do want a child!  And another part of me says it's not like I'm out there having an affair.  Are there any people out there who've had to face this idea and come to some kind of conclusion?  I seem to be swinging from yes to no like a pendulum - I don't know what to think.  What do you think?
 

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Brandy, I haven´t been in the same position as you are but do have a very handy dad who is a Church of England minister, so will give him a ring and see if there are any leaflets he can pass on to you re: the church´s position.
Both he and my mum were very negative when I first started working in the fertility field and it took about 3 years for them to accept what I do. They can see the value of creating a child and are very aware that my specialist area is egg donation and haven´t had anything neg to say on the matter. Will let you know what he says.

Ruth
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you for that Ruth.
 

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Hi Brandy
We too are Christians and are now faced with the prospect of egg donation after 2 failed IVF cycles.  I have to say that our minister could not have been more supportive through the last year or so.
I'm sure his opinion isn't the same as everyone's but he believes that if God hadn't wanted us to be able to push the boundaries of science like we do, he wouldn;t have given us the ability to think and learn.
I think it's a wonderful way of looking at things and certainly made us feel at peace with the whole IVF procedure.
I hope this helps a little.
Good luck!
Ally
PS - My personal view also is that if you bring a child up, care for it and love it, YOU are it's parents.  Doesn't matter where the sperm or the egg came from.  :)
 

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I'm a Christian as well, and we have male factor fertility issues too. If you ask enough Christians you will get two camps, the one that says using genetic material other than your own is equal to infidelity, and those that believe that God is just and kind and gives us the ability to make the right decisions for us, and the resources to do so.

On a purely Christian level "be still and know that I am God" listen to your hearts and you will find the answer that you are looking for, the one that is right for you.

The way my (Christian) infertility specialist put it, it's that the genetic material to make a baby is neutral, it's the love, care and input the parents the child grows up with, that makes the child your own.

Peace and blessings

Kylie
 

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First of all I should confess to being agnostic, but I do have lots of deeply religious friends from many religions and in general the only issue that ever comes up is about the frozen embryos (not that we have any) in that some friends are very concerned what would happen to them if we 'finished' our family.
We have always felt that any not used ourselves should be donated to other couples. In fact I always wanted to be an egg donor to help out women unable to produce their own eggs - basically we want to help other people overcome the hurdles we have had to take ourselves.  All this made receiving a donation a lot easier to accept when it appeared clear that this was our best option.
You might find it helpful to ask yourself how you and your husband would feel if it was donated eggs or a donated embryo instead of donated sperm?


To quote a good friend of mine "to send you all these obstacles God must be storing you up a very special child indeed". If you are determined to have a family then I'm sure this is true whatever path your heart tells you to take.
Lizi
 
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