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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have just found out I will need IVF within the last week, so I’m very new to this.  I have so many feelings at the moment and I’m not sure if I want to cry, get angry, think positive for the fact that at least I know now, be sad, to many feelings swimming around..................

I am hoping that by posting this on to this site that someone will see it and think that was what happened to me (or maybe some of it), and give me words off wisdom and hope!

Here is my story so far.  When I was 21 I had a left ovarian cyst, had a laparoscopy (keyhole surgery), came home same day, very sick, high fever & could not walk for 2-3 days, then felt better.  1 month later I felt extremely ill at work so came home, had a fever, pains and felt like passing out.  Called doctor to come out but they would not, told my Mum to make me rest.  That was on the Friday; Saturday my Mum called them again as I was unable to get out of bed, the doctor came out & said to hospital straight away.  Got to hospital on Saturday to be told cant have scan till Tuesday as bank hols weekend! 

So they just hooked me up to antibiotics drip, I just got worse and worse each day!  On the Tues. they scanned me, found that the ovarian cyst had come back, and there was an abscess.  They did not do the operation till the Wednesday evening. So I had 6 days feeling as though I was dieing before they did a thing!  After my laparotomy they told me I would be ok - life would be normal.  At my discharge appt the Dr said we admit that we must have done something wrong with the 1st opp and this is why you came back into hospital this time (wish I had a tape recorder  ^tantrum^).  Also he said I shd have kids before 30 yrs old.

I then was in and out of hospital for the next year maybe 4 - 5 times (lost count), had pains in stomach so they put onto an antibiotics drip for a couple of days then sent home each time. ^mercy^

5 yrs later got another ovarian cyst this time on the right, and then I had another laparotomy opp.  This time I made sure I had the top doc (head of the team not the junior like before).  After the opp they told me my womb / tubes / ovaries / bowl was in such a mess, they have unstuck everything and all looks ok now.  But my fallopian tubes where squashed, they have straightened them out, so have 50 / 50 % chance of having children and also a higher risk of eptopic pregnancy - now I was in shock. I was told to stay on the pill to reduce chance of get another cyst until wanting to try for a baby and don’t worry about the being told to have a baby before I’m 30, as this is not the case!

After this I started wanting a baby more and tried to get DP to come around to the idea.  Well 1 year ago my partner and I came off the pill to TTC (this was after 5 yrs being patient for him and hoping babies would be on the cards).  Then 3 mths ago I started a study with a university to find out when you ovulate, which has showed I do some months.  I thought this will help me conceive quicker, as my cycles are not  that normal they can be anything from 20 - 27 days.  As my family are very fertile I thought I will quickly conceive, and the sooner the better, I did not want another cyst.

So to bring you up to date; at the beginning of July I went for scan due to painful sex / mid cycle bleeding to be told another cyst on right ovary.  This time I went private not NHS.  I had my opp, laparoscopy (keyhole surgery), last week to be told, bowls stuck down with adhesions to everything (womb / tubes etc..) they have done there best to solve this so my womb has been freed up to hold a baby - one day.  Told that they could not see my ovaries clearly to find the cyst and might not have been one in the first place, maybe was just everything was stuck and pushing things down to look like there was a cyst.  Or it could have burst before my opp (this is possible as the period just before opp was v. heavy and bad pains). 

Then they said my tubes are v. bad and there is a 0% chance of having a babe naturally, but I still a chance of an eptopic pregnancy, so I will now need IVF  :'(

My partner is not sure about all this his worried about the babe not being his / mine, he has no faith in NHS hospitals, thinks they will mix up the eggs / sperm, also worried about birth defects in babe being higher, the list off concerns goes on and on.  :(

Thank you all for the ears, I need to get this off my chest and I am hoping that someone somewhere can advise me of some hope.  Maybe with a similar story with a success at the end. ^feedback^

I keep hoping that my partner will say yes to IVF after seeing someone and the questions are all answered, also that IVF will work for us.  But I still have a small part of me kidding myself - hoping for a 'natural miracle baby' even hospitals can get it wrong.

I just want to be a mummy  :'(

Thank you for listening and good luck to all

Jenine x
 

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Jenine - Welcome to FF

I am so sorry to read your sad post.  You have obviously had an awful time, no wonder you and your partner have no faith in the NHS.

I don't know much about the medical side of it but I do know that lots of girls on here have had similar problems.  I am sure you will 'bump' into them soon :)

In the meantime, good luck with talking to your dp about IVF, once you get your head around it, its not bad at all.

Jennifer xx
 

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Hi Jenine

Sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time at the moment but it willg et better.

I have just had my first cycle of ivf and am waiting to see if it has worked. Fingers crossed.

When I wasabout 34/5 I started to get very bad pains which had happenend in the past but every lapaoscopy showed nothing.  They suddenly found a cyst during one of many scans and then decided that all the pain I was having was probably the cyst rupturing and the lap discovered endo which they lasered, also at the same time I was diagnosed with pcos.  then it started to happen mid cycle every month for 6 months and I would end up on pethidine for the night and go home the next morning.  They decided to sort out my cycle with the pill but because of history of high blood pressure they then changed their minds and put me on HRT.  Evil stuff made me feel like hell day in and out. 
I eventually got so  tired of this that I went to see a homeopath.  The treatment wasn't easy but I was determined that if I was to carry on living then I had to persevere.  From the day I started the homeopahty I have not had one cyst.  At my IVF scan was told no signs of pcos.

I hope this gives you hope.
During the whole ivf process the hospital has been so carefull and everything is labelled and checed anddoulble checked so I am sure you will be safe to trust your eggs and DP sperm to their care.

Good luck and I hope you get your miracle soon

Love lshack xx
 

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Hi Jenine

I'm really sorry to hear about your problems,  I just can't believe how much they are like mine.
Different problem in the fact of me not having cyst's but I had appendix out when I was 13, mum and dad told everything was as it should be...how wrong could they be!!
I had lap in about 2000 cos of pain and started to find out what was going on, I only have one ovary, PCOS, loads of scaring and Adhesions.  At this point I was told to stay on pill til I wanted to have a baby then they would do op again to try and free things up.  Like you everything was really stuck together.  Had this op in march this year as me and dp have decided that its time to start trying,  I come round after the op and was told by nurse that they had freed my tube and drilled ovary as planned, I was so happy...didn't last long  :-[

When the consultant came round it was not so good news, the side I have ovary I only have half a tube and its the most important part missing. everything was so stuck together my ovary is on my right side but had been pulled right to left.
All in all and to cut a long story short they had details of almost all of this dating back to when I was 13!!! and knew most of the facts, the only thing that they didn't know was that I only had half a tube!!

I was not happy and like you its now looking like my only chance is going to be via IVF.

I'm sure that given time you dp will come round to the idea of IVF, its hard and my dp has wondered if its such a good idea a few times.

Take care, thinking of you.

Nikki    :)
 

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Hi Jenine

Just wanted to say hello and welcome to FF

I'm sorry to hear about the terrible time you have had and hope that things now start going your way.

Love
Bear
xx
 

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Hi

Welcome to FF

^Cuddle^

Sorry to hear about the terrible time you have had so far.  You'll find lots of supportive people on here and they will help you through, you'll always find someone to listen and lots of help and advise.  I don't know what I would do without this website and I really don't know how I managed before I found it.

Since joining FF, I've made some great friends, and I've faced up to a lot of feelings that I'd been keeping hidden.  I've got a laparoscopy on 25 Aug and blocked tubes are a real possibility, I'm also feeling very scared at the possibility of having to go down the ivf route, especially with my fear of hospitals/doctors etc.  OH won't discuss that option, says we have to wait and see what happens on 25 Aug.  I think men keep their feelings hidden a lot more than us women, although they are very often as scared and as worried as we are.

Good luck

Em
 

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^Cuddle^ Dear Jenine,

I am so sorry to hear how low you are at the moment... I completly understand the feelings with regards to IVF and my DH isn't to sure about it all either!

Like Nikki I had my appendix out when I was 6 and because it burst before they OP it left loads of scaring and parts of my tubes and bowel were stuck down together, this then caused me to have an Ectopic PG on the 5th July 05, That was when they informed me that they had taken my right tube due to the damadge from apendix op! Icouldnt belive it I had no idea they could ever be related!!! to top it off my remaining Tube has been very very damadged by to Apendix op and possibley Chlamidia which was very hard news to take and made me feel awfull and guilty!

I have found out now that I must have IVF if we wwant our own little angle so I gues it's the only way! I may try naturally anyway but it would put me at vvvv high risk  ^doc^ for another EP so not sure yet... as it was a very upsetting experience which took 5 weeks to sort!!  ^mercy^

Please tyr to stay postitive and check out the Ectopic Pregnancy Turst for more info on EP and there chat room is also very informative.. ::)

Ruthieshmoo x



 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I just want to say thank you to you all for your replies. I am feeling abit stronger each day about having IVF and that is only down to reading peoples replies on here, and gaining knowlegde from others thank you all so much it has given me ^reiki^

I just need to find good information on IVF to give to my DP as he keeps reading the bad stuff! So I am on a mission to show him that it is such a small percentage, and the good is the bigger picture 

Good luck to you all

Jenine x
 
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