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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have just found out I will need IVF within the last week, so I’m very new to this.  I have so many feelings at the moment and I’m not sure if I want to cry, get angry, think positive for the fact that at least I know now, be sad, to many feelings swimming around..................

I am hoping that by posting this on to this site that someone will see it and think that was what happened to me (or maybe some of it), and give me words off wisdom and hope!

Here is my story so far.  When I was 21 I had a left ovarian cyst, had a laparoscopy (keyhole surgery), came home same day, very sick, high fever & could not walk for 2-3 days, then felt better.  1 month later I felt extremely ill at work so came home, had a fever, pains and felt like passing out.  Called doctor to come out but they would not, told my Mum to make me rest.  That was on the Friday; Saturday my Mum called them again as I was unable to get out of bed, the doctor came out & said to hospital straight away.  Got to hospital on Saturday to be told cant have scan till Tuesday as bank hols weekend! 

So they just hooked me up to antibiotics drip, I just got worse and worse each day!  On the Tues. they scanned me, found that the ovarian cyst had come back, and there was an abscess.  They did not do the operation till the Wednesday evening. So I had 6 days feeling as though I was dieing before they did a thing!  After my laparotomy they told me I would be ok - life would be normal.  At my discharge appt the Dr said we admit that we must have done something wrong with the 1st opp and this is why you came back into hospital this time (wish I had a tape recorder  ^tantrum^).  Also he said I shd have kids before 30 yrs old.

I then was in and out of hospital for the next year maybe 4 - 5 times (lost count), had pains in stomach so they put onto an antibiotics drip for a couple of days then sent home each time. ^mercy^

5 yrs later got another ovarian cyst this time on the right, and then I had another laparotomy opp.  This time I made sure I had the top doc (head of the team not the junior like before).  After the opp they told me my womb / tubes / ovaries / bowl was in such a mess, they have unstuck everything and all looks ok now.  But my fallopian tubes where squashed, they have straightened them out, so have 50 / 50 % chance of having children and also a higher risk of eptopic pregnancy - now I was in shock. I was told to stay on the pill to reduce chance of get another cyst until wanting to try for a baby and don’t worry about the being told to have a baby before I’m 30, as this is not the case!

After this I started wanting a baby more and tried to get DP to come around to the idea.  Well 1 year ago my partner and I came off the pill to TTC (this was after 5 yrs being patient for him and hoping babies would be on the cards).  Then 3 mths ago I started a study with a university to find out when you ovulate, which has showed I do some months.  I thought this will help me conceive quicker, as my cycles are not  that normal they can be anything from 20 - 27 days.  As my family are very fertile I thought I will quickly conceive, and the sooner the better, I did not want another cyst.

So to bring you up to date; at the beginning of July I went for scan due to painful sex / mid cycle bleeding to be told another cyst on right ovary.  This time I went private not NHS.  I had my opp, laparoscopy (keyhole surgery), last week to be told, bowls stuck down with adhesions to everything (womb / tubes etc..) they have done there best to solve this so my womb has been freed up to hold a baby - one day.  Told that they could not see my ovaries clearly to find the cyst and might not have been one in the first place, maybe was just everything was stuck and pushing things down to look like there was a cyst.  Or it could have burst before my opp (this is possible as the period just before opp was v. heavy and bad pains). 

Then they said my tubes are v. bad and there is a 0% chance of having a babe naturally, but I still a chance of an eptopic pregnancy, so I will now need IVF  :'(

My partner is not sure about all this his worried about the babe not being his / mine, he has no faith in NHS hospitals, thinks they will mix up the eggs / sperm, also worried about birth defects in babe being higher, the list off concerns goes on and on.  :(

Thank you all for the ears, I need to get this off my chest and I am hoping that someone somewhere can advise me of some hope.  Maybe with a similar story with a success at the end. ^feedback^

I keep hoping that my partner will say yes to IVF after seeing someone and the questions are all answered, also that IVF will work for us.  But I still have a small part of me kidding myself - hoping for a 'natural miracle baby' even hospitals can get it wrong.

I just want to be a mummy  :'(

Thank you for listening and good luck to all

Jenine x
 

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Hi Jenine

welcome to FF hun,

reading your post it sounds like you have been through so much hun ^Cuddle^ i can't offer much advise about your condition as mine is very different (i have unexplained infertility even though i have mild pcos) i think it is quite normal to have all these worries about ivf, it seem very frightening to start with but i promise it's not too bad (i did it twice) i would of done it a million times if they could guarantee i would of had a baby at the end of it (not that i could afford to do it again anyway ;D) here's the link to the ivf procedure

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,27660.0.html

i hope this helps and everything works out for you, good luck ^reiki^

pam xx
 

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Hi Jenine

Sounds like you've been through a tough time hun. 

My husband and I are going through our 1st cycle of IVF at the moment, after 7 years of waiting to find an egg donor.

Its only natural to be a bit scared as it is all new and confusing - and I am so glad to have found this site as it has kept me sane  :).

I hope everything works out for you.

Carol250 xxx


 

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Hi Jenine,

You really have been through it have nt you hun.  You've had a big shock and all the mixed feelings you discribe sound exactly how I felt when I found out that we needed ivf.  You are probably wondering what all the processes are and if you will be able to do it.  Honey, I can reassure you that you will be OK and you will be able to do it.  There's loads of info on this site about the process (i think if you go to the home page it will tell you where to find it, if not, let me know and I'll send you the link).  IVF does not increase your chances of having a baby with a birth defect, so please dont worry about that issue and the chances of the hospital mixing up eggs and sperms is too remote to worry about.  If you decide to go for ivf I'm sure the cons will be able to put your partners mind at rest.  If I was you I'd ask your partner to go for a consultation with you before making any decisions not to proceed as it would a great pity for him to be put off by something that may not be a problem.  IVF is often discribed as a rollercoaster, you get excited, worried, fret and then the torturous 2 week wait for the result.  But you have been through so much already and are obviously a very strong person  ;), which is why I'm sure you will have no problem coping with ivf (the physical aspect of ivf might be a walk in the park compared to what you have already been through).  Think of it as only being 5 weeks out of your life.  I hope your DP is reassured about the process and that you can both decide together what to do.  I found that my dp does nt pay much attention and lets me organise it all and ask all the questions!!!  He did nt know women had 2 ovaries until I mentioned I had a cysts on both of mine!!!

If you go through with ivf you will be able to find a cycling buddy on this site to hold hands with you every step of the way.  There's also a thread just for the blokes too.

Although you have pelvic adhesions, this alone will not stop you from carrying your very own baby.  It obviously does nt always work 1st time and may take a few goes but you a young lass and there's no reason for you not to suceed.  Dont think of yourself as infertile, just think yourself as needing a bit help to by pass those damn tubes  ;)

Take care hun, hope I have helped to make you feel better and not worse.

Becca
x
 

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Hello there. I'm also quite new to it. I was told it was IVF in Dec 2004.

Still struggle to come to terms with it sometimes. I'm still hoping for a little miracle.

Good Luck
 

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Hi there

I agree, you seem to have had the rough end of the stick so to speak..

I just wanted to say I have been very lucky and since all the IVF stuff came our way, it has made us so much stronger a s a couple...I hope that in time it will do the same for the both of you.

I just know that you will find all the support you need from this board and I wish you al the very best of lucky in becoming a mummy!

Natxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I just want to say thank you to you all for your replies. I am feeling abit stronger each day about having IVF and that is only down to reading peoples replies on here, and gaining knowlegde from others thank you all so much 

I just need to find good information on IVF to give to my DP as he keeps reading the bad stuff! So I am on a mission to show him that it is such a small percentage, and the good is the bigger picture 

Good luck to you all

Jenine x
 

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Hi Jenine

I know you have read other stories, but one of the best things you could have done was find this website.
Firstly I am sorry to hear that you need IVF. I went through that this April although I had been warned for a few years that I mat need assistance, my problem that I have had quite a few major surgeries and through the adhesions it has basically stuck everything together. My DP and I have our first consultation this month at Holly House (I know from other girls that they have open evenings where you can go and they talk about the procedures and what is involved. I have heard these are very useful. Holly House also has a website.Which goes through what they do with a short video.
It isn't easy when family and friends get pregnant so quickly. My younger sister got pregnant by mistake and I founf that very hard. Because I am nearly 32 most of my friends have children some three and some are pregnant now.
A lot of your DP's worries maty be eased by looking on Holly House website and going to an open evening(not sure what clinic or hospital you may be referred to but I am sure they would have similar - Holly House is in Buckhurst Hill so probably not too far from you).
This website has certainly helped me and I feel a lot more informed from it and the literature I have read.
I hope this has been some help and I wish you and your DP all the very best for the future.

Jaybxx
 

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Hello Jenine,

I agree with what others have said and hope u and your partner are able to talk about all the options so as to make a decision that u r both happy with.  My dp and i always knew we'd need ivf, due to male factor (spinal injury) and he was v reluctant initially about having a family especially as he'd always thought that option would be closed for him. After a year of discussing, arguing (!) and agreeing, we went for a 1st consultation.  SInce then, it's taken us 4 years to get to this stage (am about to go for egg collection) and have had to go through a lot in the process - much quicker now i think to get referred!  But it is worth it.  My dp now has sperm frozen - we'd had to discuss donor sperm just in case, and this made it really clear to him that he really wanted our child, but was happy to go with donor sperm if needed.  So although your dp may be finding it difficult to accept at moment, don't give up, as he probably needs more time to think about it all and realise what he really wants.  And sure this will be the same as u.  Also, I want to talk about it more than my dp, he is good but feels i go on a bit some times!!, so this site has been great to get things off chest and get lots of support, info and experience from others on site, and being part of this community.

Bit of a ramble, but hope helps a bit.

Good luck and take care,

Heatherxxx
 
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