I am struggling to face the fact that I have done my last ever cycle hoping to be lucky again. I know that I am in a blessed and privileged position of having 2 wonderful DS, but have spent the majority of this year TTC #3 without any luck.
AF arrived Sunday night and I got the BFN confirmed with a blood test on Monday. I am trying to find any silver lining to this cloud. As I told my DH, when he says how lucky we are to have 2 DS, it has never been about them. They are wonderful, infuriating, adorable, crazy little boys and I thank my lucky stars that I was blessed with 2 BFP's and ended up with 2 perfect babies.
But... I had that at the start of this year and now after 3 FET and 2 Ovulation Induction cycles, I only have the pain of all those BFNs to show for my time.
Can anyone help me see any silver linings to this big dark cloud that is over me now?
I will be 41 in a few weeks and that was my cut off date that I agreed with DH. He thinks we are perfect just the way we are and wanted me to come to that same conclusion by then. I agreed as logical me knows that I can't keep doing this battle forever and I need to live the life I have, not spend it obsessing on what if's...
I know the world is fairly well set up for 2 adult-2children families, but we only travel maybe a few times a year, so that doesn't make me think it is easier this way...
I wish I could accept it all in the way my DH can, but my mind is constantly whirring with what if's.
Thanks for reading
AF arrived Sunday night and I got the BFN confirmed with a blood test on Monday. I am trying to find any silver lining to this cloud. As I told my DH, when he says how lucky we are to have 2 DS, it has never been about them. They are wonderful, infuriating, adorable, crazy little boys and I thank my lucky stars that I was blessed with 2 BFP's and ended up with 2 perfect babies.
But... I had that at the start of this year and now after 3 FET and 2 Ovulation Induction cycles, I only have the pain of all those BFNs to show for my time.
Can anyone help me see any silver linings to this big dark cloud that is over me now?
I will be 41 in a few weeks and that was my cut off date that I agreed with DH. He thinks we are perfect just the way we are and wanted me to come to that same conclusion by then. I agreed as logical me knows that I can't keep doing this battle forever and I need to live the life I have, not spend it obsessing on what if's...
I know the world is fairly well set up for 2 adult-2children families, but we only travel maybe a few times a year, so that doesn't make me think it is easier this way...
I wish I could accept it all in the way my DH can, but my mind is constantly whirring with what if's.
Thanks for reading