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I can't see any positives, can you?

3K views 4 replies 3 participants last post by  ivyf 
#1 ·
I am struggling to face the fact that I have done my last ever cycle hoping to be lucky again. I know that I am in a blessed and privileged position of having 2 wonderful DS, but have spent the majority of this year TTC #3 without any luck.

AF arrived Sunday night and I got the BFN confirmed with a blood test on Monday. I am trying to find any silver lining to this cloud. As I told my DH, when he says how lucky we are to have 2 DS, it has never been about them. They are wonderful, infuriating, adorable, crazy little boys and I thank my lucky stars that I was blessed with 2 BFP's and ended up with 2 perfect babies.

But... I had that at the start of this year and now after 3 FET and 2 Ovulation Induction cycles, I only have the pain of all those BFNs to show for my time.

Can anyone help me see any silver linings to this big dark cloud that is over me now? :'(

I will be 41 in a few weeks and that was my cut off date that I agreed with DH. He thinks we are perfect just the way we are and wanted me to come to that same conclusion by then. I agreed as logical me knows that I can't keep doing this battle forever and I need to live the life I have, not spend it obsessing on what if's...

I know the world is fairly well set up for 2 adult-2children families, but we only travel maybe a few times a year, so that doesn't make me think it is easier this way...

I wish I could accept it all in the way my DH can, but my mind is constantly whirring with what if's.
Thanks for reading  ^hugme^ ^hugme^
 
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#2 ·
Hi I'm sorry your cycle didn't work and totally understand you feeling like this. We have one and can't have any more and it has felt incomplete. But we've gone back to fostering now which we'd done before having our lo and it's great seeing her with playmates despite how exhausted I am! Maybe there's another way for you to grow...
 
#3 ·
Thank you so much ivyf for replying  ^hugme^ ^hugme^
It really means the world  ^hugme^
Unfortunately for us, we live in Holland so not being Dutch we have no way of doing fostering  (understandably they want native speakers only)
How amazing you are to do fostering, I can't imagine how tough it is to give back a child. I am in awe. And what a wonderful gift for your daughter to experience what a difference you make to other children  :)
Thank you  ^hugme^
 
#4 ·
Hello Ivyf I just read your post about fostering and hope you don't mind me asking a few questions. I'm 45 and have a 2 year old, We did 7 IVFs to become parents. Because of age mainly there is no way I can do more ivf and we are considering fostering. Our little one needs to be 3 before we apply. I'd love to get feedback on how your lo adjusted to fostering. We're the children older /younger? One big concern is how they would cope if there was a child they got very attached to and then they were moved. Thank you
 
#5 ·
Hi Aisha sorry to hear that's not an option for you and hope you can find peace with being three.
Teacups I'm also 45 with a 2yr old but it took us 8 cycles to get her! She's fostered from birth as we were still doing it full time when she was born for 6months but then Just did respite until recently when we've started again and have two children with us. They're both older than her and so far it's been fine although it's early days. She has got naughtier and I don't know if that's just being 2 or is because she's sharing us. I think she'll be upset when one of the children moves on and not so much with the other! Send me a pm if you want to talk it through more and good luck with it x
 
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