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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Girls,

I need to have a rant as i feel like i have got no one else to talk to.

I live in Germany but i come from the uk. My dh and i are extremly blessed as we got a BFP not so long ago. I just feel so lonely, i am such a long way from my family and friends at this special time and my dh is working all the time ( its a seasonal job ) so we dont see our friends much in nearby berlin at the moment as its always work, tired, dinner then sleep. Our friends here dont seem to understand this and are being a little snotty as we are not out so much at the moment but its always like this in the summer. All i want to do is go home to the uk and see my friends and my mum and dad but i dont want to fly until i am in the second trimester, i would rather not fly at all but i cant imagine spending all that time here and not going back. I feel really tearful and alone, i should be feeling over the moon and trust me i am so pleased to be expecting i really really am, i just feel like i dont have anyone to share it with and i have been waiting to share this for so long...

Sorry for the rant and thanks for taking time to read...

bell xx
 

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Hi Bell
I just wanted to send you a huge ^Cuddle^ I know it must be difficult being in another country and away from family and friends at this time.
Have you been into our chatroom? If you check the calendar out there are some themed chats, newbies, pg chat etc.
If you go on to the Bun in the Oven boards I'm sure you'll find other girls who are feeling a bit lonely, or fancy a chat.
I know it's a bit daunting joining established threads, but everyone is very warm and welcoming and I'm sure the girls in the 1st Tri will be able to offer you some support, and you can have a natter about your pg, and any worries/concerns etc as well as make some new friends along the way :)
Here's a couple of links to the boards ;)
Pregnancy General Chit Chat http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=174.0
Trimesters Boards http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=173.0
Hope that helps hunni :-*
Take care
Gayn
Xx
 

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Hi Bell

I too live in Germany and have had to spend lots of time on my own.  My dh has currently been away for 5 weeks and is due back on Wednesday for 2 weeks before he is away again for 6 weeks.

I know it is hard and you get very homesick and lonely but you just need to find something to occupy your mind.  I had my 2nd cycle of IUI just over 8 weeks ago and we still don't know for definate that I am pregnant.  I think I am nearly 5 weeks but not counting my chickens until the dr confirms it.

Try and think about all the positive things that are happening at the moment.
Take care
Lots of love
Sue ^hugme^
 

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Bell - I couldn't just read and run (even though I know that I can't physically do anything to ease your loneliness) I just wanted to send you a big hug  ^Cuddle^ and to say that WE (Fertility Friends) are always here and will always listen....... chin up babes..... enjoy your BFP  ^BFP^ ^pompom^ ^pompom^ (many congrats by the way) and don't be too hard on yourself.... our hormones are rampant at the moment...... and our moods are fluctuating  ;) :-*

 

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Hi there Bell

Just wanted to say I understand how you feel, but also to say that I did fly to Italy and back during my first trimester (10 weeks) without any problems.  We had already booked the trip before I became PG and I was in 2 minds about going, but I read around on the internet and asked my cons at my 8 week scan.  She said that as I had had the scan and everything was OK, and I had had no bleeding up to that point, that I should go and enjoy myself.  Her view was that if the PG was going to miscarry, it would regardless of what I did, and flying made no difference.  Had I had previous bleeding, she would have advised against going just in case I had a miscarriage abroad, but as it was, I was fine.  So if everything is going OK with your pregnancy, you don't need to wait until the 2nd tri to come home. 

If you are desperate to come back before 13 weeks, have a word with your cons and see what he/she says.

Essex Girl x
 

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I flew long haul when I was 11 wks to Mexico (honeymoon) and then back again when I was 13wks and C is here to tell the tale!!

Feeling lonely and down is not nice and if it would help then you book that flight back home!! Let your mam give you a big huggle and make you feel better xxxx
 

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Hi Bell,

Sorry your feeling lonely xxx  ^hugme^ I think that if it makes you happy to visit your family then that would be very good for baby and you! our babies feel strong emotions 20 mins after we have experienced them (I know that sounds a bit hippyish and maybe should be taken with a pinch of salt).. but even if this is not true it is better to be a happy mum than not! I flew to Portugal at 10 wks and as you can see so far so good!  ^reiki^

You and DH need to look after you and baby now x short hall is normally fine just check with your MW of Doc and then pack your bags!!

Ruthie xxxxx
 

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Bell, not long now until your second trimester, have you got a flight booked?

:)

^hugme^

Jane
xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Hi Girls,

Thanks so much for your lovely messages, i dont know what i would do without you all sometimes  ^hugme^ !

I am feeling much better today, my Dad is coming over for a week tomorrow, i am so excited  ^clapping^ im a total Daddy´s girl ! i am also booking my flight today for the end of June as my Dr said its fine to fly then  ;D. I also had another scan yesterday and saw little feet and hands, i cant believe how much bubs has grown, DH has taken to calling baby "Ted" although he thinks we will have a girl.... i am alot happier now, and i am going to enjoy this experience as i have waited so so so long to get here and i am incredibly lucky ...

DH also took me to pizza hut yesterday ( had a pang for it ) i had a massive meat feast ( DH made a very rude comment about his meat not having a feast for a long time  ^roflmao^ ) and it was soooooooooooooo nice, i ate so much and felt great afterwards !

Love to all of you and thanks again girls x

Bell xxx

P.s Going to see the sex and the city film on Thursday, i cant wait !
 

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bell26 said:
I feel really tearful and alone, i should be feeling over the moon and trust me i am so pleased to be expecting i really really am, i just feel like i dont have anyone to share it with and i have been waiting to share this for so long...

bell xx
Hi Honey,

First of all, just wanted to say congratulations on your BFP, well done!
I too have felt a little down and tearfull a few times over the last few months since getting a BFP... Its normal, don't worry, its your hormones etc.
It came as a shock to me (don't know why though) that i'm finally going to be a mum - supposed i got used to thinking it will never happen to me.

Anyway, what i wanted to say is that you don't have to fly - you could go to Netherlands and then get a fery over to UK, but obviously this would take longer then flying (just a suggestion, sorry for poking my nose in).

As for friens, well, its been the same for us too, we went out a lot last year and had a really sosiable life untill Jan - been out twice since and have been feeling a little lonely and "cut off". Our friends too seemed to not understand that the pregnancy comes first and the sosiable life takes a back sit - especially for ones like us that had IVF or other fertility treatents.

Just think, its not forever that your DH will be busy and as you say its a summer thing so by the time you are further into your pregnancy he should start having more time for you and that way he'll be there when you'll need him more then now and he would still be "fresh blood" by then rather then worn out with demands (i tend to make lots of those and keep thinking one day my DH will pop from all the presure i'm puting him under extra).

What I'm trying to say is Chin up and enjoy the time to your self with out anyone stiking their nose into your pregnancy.

Take care honey. xxx
 
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