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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We had our second ICSI in January/February this year. Unfortunately for the second time it was a biochemical pregnancy.

My husband straight away contacted our LA about adoption. We have met with a social worker who thinks we would be suitable for a sibling group of a baby and toddler. We are due to go on our prep course at the end of June and beginning of July.

However, I always wanted to try ICSI 3 times.

Would it reflect badly on us if we postponed going on the prep course to try ICSI one more time?

I don't know whether to give up our final ICSI and just carry on with the adoption process, but on the other hand will I always wonder what would have happened if we had a final go?

I do know that if we did have a final ICSI that would be it. Finances are such that we couldn't afford any more treatment after that.

Where is that crystal ball when you need it?

Sorry this is so waffly.

x
 

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Hi Jadebear

Welcome to the adoption boards

It wouldnt show bad if you put off prep and wanted another try at ICSI-you and your DH need to be 100% into adoption with no "what ifs"

It took my DH and i over 2yrs and alot of reading/talking to VA's/LA's ect before making the final choice to move to adoption and i can say hand on heart i have no regrets at all and 100% happy where i am now- our 2 children were placed with us in april

xxx
 

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Hi Jadebear,

From reading your post it sounds like you have some doubts about adoption at this stage and are not quite ready to move away from icsi to this stage, perhaps you need to have a good long chat with your dh and let him know how you are feeling you may of course already done this.  I know what you mean about wanting to give icsi another go you have to feel you have given it your best shot and know in your own mind when you have had enough, after 5 attempts we said enough was enough and was relieved when we made the decision to move onto adoption.

It would not look bad if you postponed the prep course the time has to be right for you and your dh and there would be other prep courses.

I hope you can sort it out and sending you a big ^hugme^ in the meantime as I and many others can empathise with your situation

Love

Dawny
 

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Hi

I totally agree with MJ and Dawns replies.

We originally enquired about adoption in 2001, decided we needed to tx first, several attempts and a few years later we had a year out to see where we were going and then had one last attempt, that failed (which we kinds knew it would) but then felt at peace that we had tried 100% and had no doubts whatso ever about adoption. 

It is a decision that only You and DH can come to, best of luck hun  ^hugme^
 

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Hi Jadebear,

Ditto what the others have said.  ;)

Our SW actually said that a lot of couples attend the information evening, then decide that they have unfinished business with tx, so decide to cycle again.  I think this happens quite a lot, and does not reflect badly at all.  The SW wants you to be 100% sure before you make any firm steps towards adoption.

Good luck hunny, Boomy xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you ladies.

I know that I would like to do ICSI for the final time and pretty soon.

x
 

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I think that if you really feel you want to have a 3rd ICSI then you should do, otherwise you will always wonder 'what if'?
I am sure it would not reflect badly, infact Ithink they would much prefer your honesty!

Good luck xx
 

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Hi, sorry to hear of the difficult time you've  been having and the bio-chem  ^hugme^

I too understand that 'what if' feeling and we felt we had to really give tx our final shot before moving on from ICSI. The adoption process is very intense (in a positive way as well as being daunting!) and so you need to be feeling ready to focus on it wholeheartedly if possible.

I get the impression frm our SW's that they like and respect it when people make sure they haven't got unfinished business with tx and IF issues, and as such I dn't think it would go against you; as if you ever have to return to the adoption route you can tell them you wanted to make sure you were really ready.

Do be aware that if your last ICSI doesn't work (heres hoping for you though!!  ^hugme^) you may not feel like immediately turning to adoption. Before we applied fr adoption me and DH had a whole year after our last ICSI just getting over the whole experience...grieving, recovering physically etc. I'm glad we did.

Masses of luck to you for whatever you do next.

E xxx
 
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