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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone
Just found this site yesterday and really wish  I had had access to it many years ago when my DH and i TTC for 7years and had 3 attempts at IUI and 5 attempts at IVF.We went through all this without telling anyone and it was all SO difficult. I cried buckets yesterday reading all the stories because i know what everyone is going through.
After 7 years i finally told my sister what we were going through and she suggested being a egg donor for me and our first attempt was successful and i now have a 4 year old daughter.I know i am so lucky.
We never told anyone else in the family what was going on.She wanted to but i didn't and she respected that.
I would love to know if anyone else has had a successful pregnancy from a sisters donated eggs and if you told other family members about it and if you intend to tell the child about it.
Hope this all makes sense.
Thank you for reading.
 

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Hi Lucy8

Sorry I can't answer your question but just wanted to say hello and welcome to FF, you've found an amazing site.  I'm sure you'll get some answers from some of the ladies on here and one of the board moderators will be on soon to point you in the right direction.

Your sister is a lovely lady.

^hugme^ and x x x
 

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Hi Lucy8  :)

What a lovely post, I'm amazed that you managed to go through all those treatments without telling anyone or having FF  :eek:!   You are absolutely right it is a great place for support and has kept me sane at times, well almostx

I was very happy to read of the birth of your daughter   :),wow, what a wonderful sister you have.  I'm going to move your post to our egg donor section, I think you will get more replies over there.

Louj  :) :-*


 

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Hi there,
I was a donor to my sister at the end of last year, and it was successful. She is now about 6 months pregnant. We have gone for the open route, and have told our families about it. For me that was important, as I would hate for any child to find out later in life in a way that would be shocking. I have recently started to tell my 4yo son - who is starting to show an interest in 'where babies come fronm'. I want to introduce it slowly, as he enquires, and make it so that it isn't a big deal. I hope (and expect) that my sister and BIL will do the same.
Having said that - we didn't know about my sister's long history of treatment until fairly recently. They kept that private. When we did finally find out (altho' we had long wondered) I was by that time in a position to offer to be a donor (having just had my second (and last) child.
Hope this helps.
best,
cluckcluck
 

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Hi!

We have gone down the donation route. My sister volunteered her eggs, but was told she was too old (even though she'd just had her own daughter)...anyway...we discussed it before she offered and we always said that we would be open with immediate family, not least because we wanted to make sure that the 'cousins' didn't fall in love with each other!!! We have also been really open with our families about our latest donation attempts, because we don't ever want the child/children to feel like they are something we are ashamed of.  At the end of the day, if others judge us it is most definitely THEIR problem...our babies will be loved beyond measure and that's all that matters.

Having said all that (what a preacher I am  ;D ), it is very much a personal decision and if you decide not to tell others/the children about it then that is totally your call and, again, if others judge it is THEIR problem....

Alice xx
 

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Hi Lucy8
What good support and advice you have had from Alice and Cluckcluck.  You might want to look at our web site www.dcnetwork.org  Our Telling and Talking booklets have a section on known donation and you might find the suggestions there on how to go about 'telling' with a known donor helpful.  There is a general consensus these days that being 'open' is in the best interests of the child and the whole family (extended family in your case) whether the donor is known, identifiable in the future or anonymous.  Finding out later can only be a terrible shock and children really can manage any information as long as it is given to them in age appropriate ways and with their interests at heart.  It tends to be us adults who get hung up about these things, not the children!
Best wishes
Olivia
 

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hi lucy i am pregnant with donor eggs fro my wonderful sister, this was my 7 th attempt 2nd with the eggs from my sister. Not everyone knows but the people that matter to me do, ie my mum closest friends etc. its early days for us and its a bit frightening at the moment. waiting on 1s scan on the 12th which is dragging in
love kim xx
 

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A close friend donated to me, and I now have 9 week old twins. WE have been open with our existing children, family and close friends and will introduce the issue to the babies bit by bit at thr right time...  when I tell them how they grew in my tummy, I'll mention that Hobbesy gave me her eggs.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thank for your replies-I appreciate it.
I know in my heart that my DD needs to know about this but i suppose i just wanted to be normal  and forget about the whole isue after 7 years of TTC and all the trauma that goes along with it.
We have not told any other family members or friends but my sister has told her 2 DD's aged 11 and 15 about the egg donation so i know i have to tell my DD  otherwise there is going to be a huge family secret concerning her that only she dosn,t know about !
Best of luck to you all.
You have a fantastic suport network here.Don't be like me and keep everything a secret because it really does eat you up inside.I even gave up my job as a nurse because i couldn't cope with that and my failed treatments year after year.It really must help to talk to others especially others who are going through the same process.
Lucy8 x
 

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Hi Lucy, and welcome to FF

I had a baby with my sister's eggs who was born just over 6 months ago.  I have posted in various places on this site, and if you look at older posts on the donor egg thread you should find stuff I posted then - sorry, I never did work out how to do links.

Anyway, my sister and I agreed from the start that the child had to know.  We are generally open with our family, so all our immediate family knew about the treatment anyway.  Once one or two people know, there is always the risk of something slipping out accidentally and it would be awful for Lizzie to find out that way.  My DH and I decided that we would tell it in stages - babies come from eggs but Mummy's eggs didn't work so Aunty --- gave us an egg so that we could have you.  That is enough for her to be going on with.  When she learns about genetics at a later stage, we will deal with those questions then. 

In the end, my sister ended up telling her 5 year old daughter that she was giving me an egg so I could have a baby, because my niece was getting worried about what was going on, and she accepted that explanation without too much difficulty.  She hasn't mentioned it again since, even though she has seen her cousin a few times, but at least we know we told her the truth and haven;t got to replace it with a different story in the future.

I hope that helps.  Do feel free to ask if I can help further
Essex Girl x
 

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Hi

I am Buster24 sister and mother goose!!!  As she said close friends and family know, and well I believe that it is my sister & bro's baby(or babies) and it is entirely up to her what she feels should be told and to whom.  I have done my bit, and at the mo am just desperate for the scan and to know everything is OK, and to be an Auntie. 

I believe its a personal choice thing and well as the Donor, I will stand by my sisters decision.

K
xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Don,t we have the best sisters ever Buster24(all the best for the 12th) and Essex Girl (elizabeth is just lovely)
We are very lucky indeed.
Lucy x
 
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