[caz24]

hi girls, x

i feel so sad and depressed today,

i have pcos and i had lap & dye ov drilling last year and when i had a follow up apptiontment my partner had probs, and he had another test, loads of vits stuffed down him and he's now got the all clear he's fine and dicharged (cuz of the vits & might of been cuz 2nd results was for a better look) the thing is i can't help feeling sad, i'm glad he's fine, but i can't help feeling that he cud get someone else - someone better who cud give him the family he wants (we want)

we went on holiday last week and i tried not to think about it all week (really hard!) and i didn't do bad, but it was only a cheap holiday just somewhere to get away really in this country, by the seaside so there was quite a few familys and kiddies about, i couldn't help thinking i wish that was me....

i also had a birthday yeah i know i'm still only 28 but i got a txt off my mil saying ohhh only 2 more years till your 30 i hate it! i don't mind getting old, but i didn't epect to do it without having a family or least one child i feel i'll never be at peace with myself - ever if i don't have a child, i just want it all to end and get on with living but i can't do that cuz i'll always have the next hospital app hanging over me.

i also rung the urologist today and they were refering me back to the gynos now, but  they have only just sent the letter over to gynos so that'll be another 2/3 months for another appiontment  (i'm guessing) - just waiting and waiting it feels like i'm forever waiting!

i know i sound like i'm wineing and havent even tried much in terms of treatment yet, (thats cuz we are with nhs, and haven't got funds to go private) i'm just sick of it and feels like it will never ever happen for us.

sorry to be a downer xx

caz x

 

[Mrs Chaos]

Hi Caz
first of all HUGE
This IF business is such a strain, the waiting in between times for appointments etc drive you crazy don't they.
I think what you're feeling is absolutely normal, so please don't be so hard on yourself.
Can you and your dh talk to each other well about your feelings? It is so hard to find someone who you feel able to confide in, but I would suggest discussing how you feel with each other, and keeping those lines of communication open. It is possibly the hardest thing any couple can go through, and it affects us all differently, none more so than the difference between how men and women cope.
I'm sure others will be along soon to offer some advice.
I know the waiting game is hard, but hang in there sweetheart, you're not alone, you have us
Try and stay strong and keep hopefully your dream is just around the corner
Take care
Lotsa love
Gayn
XX

 

[caz24]

hi thanks for replying x

we do talk openly quite a lot, my dp always thinks everything will turn out fine in the end (bless him!) but i'm more aware that it prob won't happen for us, or not easily anyway - but do try to stat positive it's just so hard i'm sick of it!  thanks for the hug xx

caz x

 

[shill]

Hi Caz,

Just wanted to send you a HUGE    Fertility issues can put such a strain on not only your body but your emotions too!  Like you, I find the waiting torturous, although I'm 38 so have the added pressure of the ticking of my biological clock 

Anyway, just wanted to ask if you'd considered acpuncture?  I've just started down that road, it's only been about 6 weeks but so far have had some amazing results. It can help with both the physical and emotional side of things.  Might be worth considering as it makes you feel like you're doing something whilst waiting.

Good luck with everything

Shill xx

 

[kitten77]

Hi and 

its hard isnt it. the waiting and waiting just seems to be all you do! but you will get there.

im 28 to, but not being funded by NHS as im classed as too young!  its hard when you see everyone else with children. but all you need to focus on is you and DH, take that time to be there for one another.

not alot else i can say cept, we are here if you need to talk as we are going thro the same things!

 

[caz24]

hi,
thanks for replying, i know we should focus on each other and we do it's just that somethings missisng...
and the more the years go on the more it seems to be missing, i hate feeling like this i really do i'm sure i'll pick myself up in a few days but at the moment i feel lost.

shill good idea about the acupuncure - def worth thinking about, and i guess i'll try and make myself focus on losing weight and getting back on the treadmill and trying to be healthy, for when i do go on next treatment.

thanks for the hugs,  lets hope we all get some good news soon  your all brilliant xx