[LiziBee]

Ickes!! Having panic - I'm on my second week of the 2ww, feeling kind of positive but nothing concrete.
Anyway we have a part-time lodger living with us and she turned up last night. This morning she realised AF was starting. I the past our cycles have kind of synchronised and she wanted to know if it was alright to carry on staying or if she should go and stay with another friend.
WHAT DO I DO?? She's a really good friend as well as a paying guest and I'd feel awful pushing a mate out of what is essentially her second home but on the other hand......
All information/opinions gratefully accepted!
Lizi

 

[freespirit.]

Hi lizzibee ,
Whilst i can't give you a definative answer on what to do i felt i must give you a reply.
Firstly i don't think theres a right or wrong answer to your query , and judging by how many times this post has been read and not responded to i think most of the girls would agree on this .
So , all i would say is , do what you feel is right , if you feel stressed out having your friend around , ask her if she would move out for a few days , after all she did ask you what you thought . I think its important not too get yourself stressed if you can avoid it , so i think its just best to go with your instinks .
Wishing you loads of
Freespirit x

 

[LiziBee]

Thanks for replying Freespirit!
There really is no right answer to this I'm going to feel horribly upset if she goes and dreadfully upset (and always wondering) if she stays and I get a BFN.  It's sort of complicated by the finance issue but also the girl she said can put her up had a m/c at 4mths not to long ago and I feel like I don't want to put her out of her way either.
I guess its decision time 
Lizi.x

 

[Caz]

HI Lizi

A difficult one for sure. Yes synchronisation does occur. I used to live with another woman and we were always on AF together - until I went on the pill (how ironic!) when we stopped synchronising altogether.

The only logical advice I can offer is that you need to remember that just because your friend and you normally have AF at the same time it doesn't mean you will get AF now. What you have to remember is that your cycle has been mucked about considerably just to put you through the IVF process and you probably down regulated for a while, shutting the whole factory down for a break so to speak, so you can't expect your periods to follow at exactly the same time they would have should you not have gone through IVF. Your sig says you have 7 days until you test so I would assume EC/ET was about a week ago. Clinics try to match your cycle to a normal female cycle (i.e. egg collection = ovulation and testing would be around the time AF would be expected to arrive if it's a negative). Although initially your cycle was played with to get you there, you're following a pretty standard monthly cycle from the point of your baseline scan until the point of testing.
Of course some women are unlucky to have early bleeds in the 2ww and, unless you're one of them, there's no reason to think you'll get AF now just because your friend has.

If your concern is that your friend's AF is a reminder of your treatment then...well, there's no easry solution I'm afraid. I don't know about other ladies but when I'm in the 2ww I live eat breath and not-sleep IVF and babies. The knicker checking is almost ritualistic! There's no getting around that and having someone either hevily pregnant or having AF around you isn't going to make much difference to the hell of the 2WW!

Probably the worst thing for you right now is to fret or worry over what is right or wrong because stress isn't going to help. If it's going to upset you more to send her away then don't do it. If it's going to upset you more to have her around then send her away but...don't let yourself feel guilty about it. Your friend sounds like a very understanding person and I am sure she will understand how you feel if you talk it through with her.

Lots of luck with your desicion and your cycle.
C~x

 

[Guest]

Hi Sweetie
I have posted a reply to this on the Notts board, however give me a bell if you need to talk it through xxxx
PLEASE don't stress

 

[LiziBee]

I've decided on a compromise! She's moving into another room which is actually the furthest away from our bedroom and has on-suite as well. I'm out tonight, she's out tomorrow anyway and then its only Thursday night and she's gone again. This way I don't feel like I'm pushing a friend out (the thought of her staying elsewhere is actually quite upsetting - she is one of the closest friends I have) but we all feel like we are doing something to control the situation.
Many thanks for all the advice and support!
Lots of love
Lizi