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**Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young
husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance
policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to
have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious, dark-side,
underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to
the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't
have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened
his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie
sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down
payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco store.
There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle
her with his gloved hands and as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last
breath and slumped to the floor the manager of the produce department
stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living
witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce
manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the
hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who
immediately called the police.

Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store. Under
intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid
plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband
who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper,


The headline declared............*

*




(You're going to hate me for this)
*
















*'ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO!'*
 

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^roflmao^ ^roflmao^ ^roflmao^ ^roflmao^ That is hilarious. DH is in hysterics!!!!
Sarah xx
 

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20,592 Posts
< Groans >
^roflmao^
 

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12,192 Posts
:eek:   ^bigbad^

Excellent - with a double groan!!!!!!
 
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