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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi am new to site which Ifound in desperate search for support.I'm normally bouncy & upbeat,but sinking & flat just now.I'm nearly 42,failure to concieve over 2yrs,no cause found,am taking Clomid,though no ovulation probs found.
Had felt I'd just have to accept that age was against me & move on.Not so easy!Have had awful few weeks,3 friends in 40's pregnant,first attempt!Feel useless,isolated & very low.Trying to avoid baby related areas impossible as work with children!
Anyone similar experience?
 

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Hi Dolly,

I am glad you have found us and hope that we can offer you some of the support you are looking for. There is nothing worse than being surrounded by PG friends and babies when you are desperately trying to conceive - and boy, do they seem to come out of the woodwork at a time like this!

There are quite a few of us on the site who are 'mature' and hopefully some of our stories will help you to regain a little hope - I suspect you will be hearing from several girls over the next few days.

Now you have found us you will wonder how you ever coped without us!!!!!!!!!!!


Take care,
Flo
x

 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Flo
It was great to see your reply,makes me feel less isolated already!!!!!!
Hope all goes well for youxxxx
 

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Hi Dolly,

I am of the more mature variety also - I have to say I drew great comfort from a documentary which was on the other week where a 57 year old woman successfully had a baby as a result of fertility treatment. If she can do it then so can we!!!!!

Love Fletch xx
 

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Hi Dolly,
are you considering treatment?
I did ask my doctor directly if I should give up because of my age. I was told I still had a very good chance and should continue. Yes, women over 38 are a lot less likely to be able to carry a baby full term but it happens. Good luck Andrea
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for your message Andrea
I'm at the stage of where do we go from here?Still on clomid,options seem to be either embark on a course of more invasive treatments(I'm very concerned re my age,costs-emotionally & financially and lowsuccess rate,could I face more disappointment?)I know the other option is to accept this isn't going to happen for us-an equally scarey prospect!!I really admire you being brave enough to face treatment and cross my fingers for your success
Love Dolly
 

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Dolly,

I am soon 40 and fell pregnant after my first go from IVF.
I know the rates are lower for those over 38 but it is NOT impossible.

Please do consider IVF if you can possibly give it a go. I know it is not cheap but if you do not have at least one go you might always be thinking ... what if ... and possibly regreting not trying. That is how I felt. I decided that I would only giveup after trying IVF. (We would not consider donor egg or adoption. It was either with our own or having to then accept not at all).

I tried for nearly 2 yrs to get pregnant in my 2nd relationship, had 2 miscarriages and convinced myself that I was never likely to have a baby. I finally plucked up the courage to have a go at IVF, got referred I am now very luckily, nearly 26 wks pregnant ! It could happen to you !

I wish you luck whatever you decide to do.

Regards,
Sarah
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I saw the documentry too,fletch.She was a lovely lady,but I found it a little scarey that I may still be chasing a dream in my 50's.For me I feel it's decision time-treatment/no treatment.If we embark on treatment how far & for how long?It's a difficult decision.Are you having treatment?
Good luck Dolly
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks for sharing your story Sarah.I'm concerned that at 42 clinics may insist on donor eggs for IVF,has anyone any experience of this?Goodluck with your prg
Dollyxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

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Dolly,
I doubt clinics would insist on donor eggs at least until they had carried out a few more investigations, for example checking your fsh levels.

Last February, donor eggs were suggested to me after my first ICSI failed. I was not satisfied that adequate investigations had been carried out and I dug my heels in, hard!
Exactly a year later and after two further unsuccessful ICSIs, my husband and I conceived naturally. I SO want to blow raspberries in that consultant's face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would agree with Jac's comment that it is important to be realistic, however I also believe that you should take this as far as you feel you need to. It is not up to the consultants, it is up to you two. I also appreciate your concerns about setting out into the unknown but I think you reach a point where self-preservation takes over and you know it is time to call it a day.
I am not sure whether your Clomid was prescribed by your GP or by a consultant; you would have nothing to lose by asking your GP to refer you, at least to allow yourself the chance to look into the possiblity of treatment, without committing yourself to anything.
and of course you can keep asking questions here!!

Keep in touch,
Flo
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks for your reply Flo,I am trying to be realistic and had almost decided to say it wasn't meant to be & leave things to nature.However I feel maybe I'll always wonder what if?I'm seeing consultant at local hospital,thinking of asking for referral to clinic to realistically discuss options & make bast decision for us.
Dolly
 

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Dolly,
I've replied to you on one of the other threads too - but just wanted to add that I did not find IVF treatment to be as invasive/difficult as I was expecting. I was pleasantly suprised by the drugs - no side effects, and actually felt a bit better on one them!
The decision is entirely yours - but I would say give it one go at least - hopefully it will work but at least you can decide whether it is for you or not. Also - IVF is a good way of investigating your fertility further.
As for donor eggs - this is not a forgone conclusion. Your age is not always an accurate prediction of fertility.
Take care,
Grace xx
 

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Hi Dolly
I've found this thread a bit late - but I was looking for adivce too.
I'm 40 and have just had a -ve result on my first IVF. Everything went well - lots of eggs, 9 fertilised - 2 put back - good lining - but they just didn't implant. Not sure why?
I'm wondering now whether to call it quits and say it wasn't to be - or to go for another treatment. Like Grace I found the sniffing and stimming not too bad at all. Had bad af pains all the way through the 2ww, and wonder now if it was the cyclogest - so I wasn't symptom free - but it wasn't too bad - and I do feel that we tried everything. I think if you can look back and say you gave it your best shot that is a help.

But also now I'm thinking - should we give it one more go???

So interested to hear what over 40+ ladies think!

Fee xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Dear Fee,thanks for your reply.The reason I'm thinking of IVF at my age is that I need to feel we tried everything & not be left thinking if only we'd tried.Will you feel that if you don't give it one more go?only you know that but I wish you lots of luck,whatever
Love Dollyxxxxxxxxxxx
 

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Hi girls,

I'm another old 'un and just going through my first IVF. I had two boys naturally 12 & 15 years ago and thought my family was complete. I was sterilised at aged 34 (BIGGEST mistake of my life). I was single at the time and can't believe I did it. I met my DP in 1999 and would adore to have a baby with him. I had a reversal that didn't work, a heartbreaking time, and have now gone on to IVF. My cycles are regular and my FSH levels ok and donor eggs were never mentioned by the clinic. I feel this is right for us and if it doesn't work at least we tried. Although I think I will always feel guilty its my own fault, at least I have two lads, DP has no children. He tells me he loves me and he tries his best to make me feel ok, but I am so sorry I made that stupid mistake when I was 34. Anyway, I want to wish you all the best of luck, my sister had a daughter naturally at 39 so hopefully its in my genes to conceive and this will work!!!

Loadsa luv,
XX
 

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Hi I'm also over 40. All those years I was never in the right relationship and it was not the right time, happy with my cats! then meet my soulmate at 38, get married in 2001 then think now its right. Never really thought about infertility, all those early years trying not to get pregnant! Started to have really heavy periods about 18 months ago, resulting in anaemia. Had a scan revealing fibroid then referred for infertility. Had a lap & dye which was OK. Hubby tested and found to have poor motility. Due to our ages recommended to go private. Just had a trial sperm wash to see where we go from here - waiting for results. ??? No idea of costs or time. Trying to remain optomistic. At same time as all this a friend, who never wanted children, had suprise baby girl. Bit difficult to cope with when you are facing prospect of maybe never!
Great to know there are others in same boat - keep up the good work. Good luck to everyone
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thanks for all replys,helps a little to know you're not alone.I can so identify with not meeting the right person until your late 30's,I was also happy with my cat!!!Being surrounded with prg people is SO hard.
Good luck to all,Dollyxxxxxxxxxx
 

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Hi dolly,
just catching up on your thread. It sure has been busy. There are so many of us! I think we should have our own topic thread.
Sorry I had not been back earlier but I had to deal with another disappointment. Well, I am actually still trying to get to grips with it. Once you decide to go for treatment you are bound to be in for a rough ride. On the other hand I am convinced it is worth it! For instance I am glad I was pregnant once, even only for a short while. Fertility treatment is a live changing experience. I think it makes me a better person..this sounds stupid, I know. I can't describe it but it is wonderful to be proactiv about something you really want. It is empowering. Sorry, I am rambling a bit but I can really recommend it. Financially it is a real strain for us. In the bigger picture in the years to come it is nothing compared to how I would probably feel if I hadn't tried.
Well, I am wishing you all the best. I will check up on you again.
Best wishes Andrea
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Thanks for the encouragement Andrea,I'm sure you are right about feeling you at least gave it your best.
LOTS of luck to you,Dollyxxxxxxxxxx
 

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Hi Dolly
Just catching up with you! And all us other 40 somethings!
The 2ww on our treatment was so awful (af pains every day, huge boobs and the failure at the end) that I need a break. Having said that the first bit (sniffing, stimming, EC etc) was not as bad as I thought - and I have to admit last night saying to DH that if we could find the money I'd like to give it one more go and have 3 embies put back. We also have an IVF specialist who is a personal friend working at a leading IVF clinic in the states - and if we can't have 3 put back here, we could think about going there. I'm inspired by Tara you see!

Good luck - heaps and heaps of it - to all of us still trying for a dream baby

Fee xxxxxx
 
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