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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel guilty about even posting this question.

After 4 long hard attempts at IVF, I got lucky and had a little boy in July 2003.  I know I am one of the very very lucky ones but the urge to have another child is still very strong.  I have noticed that I don't like being near pregnant ladies and babies again.  I cry in the children's department of stores etc etc.

I just completed IVF No.5 and it failed two weeks ago.  I probably should count my blessings and give up but I feel that I need to go on and I think I will cycle again in Feb/March.

My question for those out there who have gone for a second child is 'How many attempts has it taken not using FET'. 

I would be grateful for any advice.

Peestick

(fibroids, PCOS , blocked tube, luteal phase problems and elderly)
 

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Hi Peestick

You dont need to feel guilty. Once you have had your much longed for baby it doesnt stop all the wanting it makes it worse. I was lucky and had my little miracle on my 2nd attempt. We had been trying for 21 years on & off. I loved being pregnant and loved having Joe and bringing him home so much that i wanted to do it again. We decided because of finances and my age we would have 1 more try if it worked great if not then at least we tried. It did work but i m/c at 5+ weeks we had 7 frosties so we had a FET had to use all the frosties but it didnt work. This was my lowest point, it is all so final now. I am accepting it now but it is really hard. There are a few of us who have one IVF miracle but would love more on the mummy's thread in Babydust section. Come on over and chat there. Good luck with your next go.

love Kim x x x
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for this Kim.  You are so right about the wanting to do it all again.  I really admire you for being able to stand back.  I will make an appearance on the baby dust thread.

Peestick
 

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Hi Peestick

awwww hun - you are so right about the wish for another child not going away. Don't feel guilty. As well as joining the Mummies - there is also a secondary infertility thread where a few of us lucky to have one mums post. Hope to see you there
Fee xxxxxxxx
 

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Hi Peestick

Thank you for posting this as I am in the same boat.  We have a lovely daughter and were lucky.  We had 3 failed attempts of IUI and so went for IVF and the first attempt worked and we have our baby - although no longer a baby.  But like you I want another, but we have now had 2 failed IVF attempts the 2nd one failing this weekend just gone.  I am taking them so hard.  Everyone tells me that I am so lucky to have my daughter and I know I am, she is special and wonderful but it doesn't stop the pain from wanting another. 

I am finding it hard again to smile etc when people announce they are pregnant and have started looking at babies in the street with longing.  I am so glad I am not the only one.

Kim, to be able to stand back and accept that you do not have a choice - you are one strong lady.  I wish I could do that maybe I will but not at the moment.

Kirsty Jane
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
It is so hard.  I haven't worked out a coping strategy yet which I can pass on.  I am wondering if I am wasting my time and DS was just a lucky fluke.  (your daughter is gorgeous by the way as are the other children on this thread)

I am also taking the blow from the bfn much worse after having been so very lucky.  I am hell to live with at the moment and very prone to tears and tantrums.  I am usually a bit unpleasant after a bfn but this time even I know I am awful so it is very bad.

I adore my son and he is spoilt rotten but that doesn't effect how I feel about babies and wanting more children.  Fertile women are allowed to have more than one child without others passing comment so why do I feel so bad about the urge just because I had an ICSI baby.   It just doesn't make sense.

I am beginning to absent myself from toddler groups... the mummies are having baby no.2 left right and centre and it is very painful,  as is the question 'when are you going to have another one' like I can click my fingers rip my husbands pants off and get down to it and bingo baby (of desired sex) on the way ............SCREAMMMMMMM


Kim and Fee if you are still out there do you have any advice on how to cope.  I am not ready to move on.  I am pushing my next cycle back to March but thats a lot of playgroup time ... and they are all breeding like rabbits!

Peestick
 

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Hi Peestick
I know exactly how you feel. I was lucky on my 1st attempt and have now had 4 failed cycles in the last 2 years. My dd is 4 and last weekend I had 3 comments in the space of 1 day do you have any more? Is she your only one?
I am v.sensitive to comments and I would advise you to do the things with your ds that make you feel good about yourself. If I don't feel strong enough to go to social events where I know lots of other people will be there with their siblings I don't go. I take my dd on lots of fun outings and she has the benfit of my undivided attention. I have also recently been to see a counsellor as I feel v.down and I don't want to feel this way. I have put off my next cycle until Feb 05 and I am realistic about my chances of success.
If you want to please email me

Layar
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hi Laylar

Thanks for your post.  I have just had yet another weekend of pregnant ladies and comments.  I was at a birthday party which I couldn't escape.  Thankfully I was able to busy myself with the aftermath of a tub of tomato sauce which my son had placed on his head, the floor the wall......

My plan is to do three more fresh cycles and then call it a day.  I think while this plan is trundling along I will be able (just about) to tolerate the comments and bumps and newborns.  But as you say I will be a bit more selective about what I attend and who I attend with. 

In some respects my miserable ivf record has set me up quite well for multiple bfn's.  I think your path has been much much harder.  I never saw a double line on the peestick until no.4.  I would have found chemicals/mc'cs very hard to deal with and I take my hat off to you for still being in the game.  Did you find the counselling a help ?

My review appointment is 4 January and I think that I will start to down reg in Feb.  I have got frosties on ice but they are my last resort because they are from younger eggs (i.e. me at 35 as opposed to 37) I am going to try and keep my dreams in control this time.  When are you starting again.

Peestick

 

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Thank god im not the only one!
I was very lucky to have my James on my very first ICSI attempt, but before that i thought that the feelings for wanting a baby were bad, but now i feel really guilty about the feelings im having now, the urge is even stronger, I now know how wonderful it is to be pregnant and give birth! When i first started my ICSI all i thought was please let me just have one, lol well your body wont let you think like that for long!  I am now on day 10 of my FET and feeling negative as im having signs of period on way, i was out having lunch today and could not stop crying as their was a new born on the next table - i want that!!! :'(
I'm due to test on new years eve - so fingers crossed (i'm blessed with my dreams coming true again!!!)

good luck girls  xxxx
 
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