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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi guys, first post on this great site.

I thought I'd introduce myself briefly before seeking further advice on appropriate board later.

I am 32 and DH is 31 and we have been together for nearly 12 years (married for 6). We have been TTC for 8 years. I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2007, and have a distinct absence of a menstrual cycle.

I can't have fertility treatment due to my weight - please don't judge - I have tried so many times to address this. I always thought wanting a baby so desperately would spur on the weight loss for success, unfortunately my mental health problems (so many issues to even get into) always get in the way and for the sake of my health and wellbeing I can't continue on any weight loss regime. It sounds pathetic that I can't do the one thing that could be the biggest help to my infertility.

So 8 years have passed by... I've seen friends' babies come along and, more heartbreakingly, my husband's niece ('a happy accident' - just to rub the salt in the wound). Soon I'll have to stand by and watch my two younger sisters start their own families and this just makes me want to fall to my knees and sob uncontrollably. I am not selfish, I don't want anyone else to feel the pain and emptiness I do, but it is so hard to stand by and watch someone else experience something I have wanted for so long.

My relationship with DH is strong and I have no worries that we can support each other through this. We have looked at other options and while I would like to adopt this is not possible due to my mental health issues.

I would be a good mum, but is it time to accept that I only ever will be to my dogs? The loves of my life and spoilt-rotten furry babies that mean the world to me?

Thanks for reading, like I said I thought I'd just introduce myself before posting elsewhere.

Premium Member
12,192 Posts
Welcome to FF, Mrs CQ!! This is a great website for support, information, laughter and friendship. Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

I can assure you that no one will judge you here. We have many people trying to lose weight for treatment, I am one of them. We have a PCOS section ~ CLICK HERE and if you look at the top thread in that section it is a diet support group for people with PCOS. I wonder if the lovely ladies there would be able to offer any suggestions.

I know what you mean, I have friends and family that have got pregnant, some annoyingly by accident and it felt like I was the only one going through fertility problems. When I "came out" to my work colleagues (needed time off for treatment so had to tell them) quite a few of the ladies said that they had treatment and one man said his son was born using donor sperm. So it really is more common than you would think, it is just not talked about. It just feels very lonely when all you see are families with children. I have left Ikea in tears because it seemed every woman in there was pregnant.

I don't know if it is time to accept, only you can make that decision (along with your DH), but it has to be a decision that you are comfortable with, because you won't be able to change your mind when you are 60. We have a section called Moving On - Deciding & Accepting ~ CLICK HERE which you might find useful.

Isn't there anything your doctor could help with? Sorry, just trying to think that there must be something that could be done.

Sue ^hugme^
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