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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Myself and my husband started our first IVF cycle late december and our OTD was 6th January, however we never managed to get that far as the dreaded AF came on 1st (my birthday)
I keep telling myself that Christmas and New Year and my birthday didnt help during the 2ww however i cant see how anything would have made the whole process less agonising.
We talked with a social working in the local authority about the process of adoption and looked into going down that route.
Im not sure if im just being stupid or impatient,we have 10 frozen eggs left in this cycle and have another fresh cycle. Ive heard a lot of people say that a FET isnt as full on, however you still have to endure that dreading 2ww.
I feel guilty for looking into other options so soon and selfish that i dont wanna go through that process again. Myhusband is so supportive and we both want a family so much.
Any advice and experiences are welcome - even if its just to tell me to get a grip.

claire
 

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Hi Clare,

I got pregnant on my 3rd FET- and it was v tough having 3 failures/dreaded 2ww to go through, for me it was clear cut that I would use all our embryos, and probably would have gone onto to a fresh cycle, so in that sense I didn't think about stopping, ( also for us as a couple adoption does not feel right so wasn't an alternative for us) I didn't find the hormones etc too bad just the emotions

it was hard, I did have some counselling before the last go and a lonegr break as I was genuinely scared of starting again, I also had lots of tests done before my last cycle and took steroids as a result as my immune NK cells were found to be high- this helped too as I knew something different was being done,

As you bled early I would ask about higher levels of progesterone support if you do decide to have FET- might help the embie to implant,

Something like 70% of people achieve success after 3 cycles but it is whether that is right for you or not,

I did find counselling really helfpul, it helped me to sort things out in my head and go into the cycle more calmly- I would ask your clinic if they have an affiliated counsellor specialising in infertility- I got one free session with ours and then paid for one,

I would say, think about counselling,  but  also give yourself a break timewise, your frozen embryos will be fine on  ice and you can use them if and when, if you think adoption is right  for you then that's not quittting its doing the right thing for you,  your DH and your future family,

Good luck with whatever you decide,

Livity
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi livity,
Thanks for the lovely message. Sometimes in moments of calm and clarity I am 100% determined to continue with IVF to the bitter end! However when I think of going through that 2ww again I can't see myself being strong enough!
I think counselling is something I seriously need to consider, like you say it might be helpful to get a more positive attitude for the FET. Can I ask if you went alone or with your partner? My Dh has been so supportive u don't want to push him away from counselling however I feel I could open up more if I went alone.
Thanks for your message it really does help to her positive stories.
Good luck with the pregnancy and I wish a lifetime of happiness with your little miracle.
Claire 
 

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I'm glad my message was some help, it is really early days post your cycle not working so you will probably feel more able to go again with time, once this is less raw,

I went to counselling on my own, my DH is also fantastic and v supportive, but at this time it was about me being scared and I guess about feeling my body was leting me down, I didn't need many sessions but almost to air the fears were enough, and to be honest I'd done that with my DH anyway, it was more having an objective view, ( we had some counselling together at the beginning to talk through what would happen if we needed donor sperm) but at that point it helped me to go on my own, I don't think you would be pushing your DH away- probably you would end up telling him what you talked about and how it helped you anyway, maybe phrase it to him about being about your body- now the embies are made,

Thanks for your good luck message I have less than 2 weeks to go now which is mad, one thing I will say is that when it does work it really does help you to put all the stress behind you,

Good luck,
Livity
 

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Claire

I moved on to adoption after 1 fresh and 1 frozen cycle - i had had a few m/c which also influenced my decision - but you will know when you are ready to move on  ^hugme^ 
 

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Hi,

Myself and my dh have made the decision to have a resolution by the end of this year, if nothing happens with ivf we will adopt. One way or another we will get our family. We adore travelling in Thailand and therefore may adopt here if our IVF doesn't work. Always good to have a plan I say x
 
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