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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hi people

So relieved to read about other girls not comfy with donor sperm...was starting to think i was a freak!

We've had a BFN and plan to try again, but if that doesn't work I would like to look into adoption.  My cousin says we should get on the "waiting list" now because " you can't adopt if you're over 40" (I'm 31!)

Is that true????  Seems very unfair if thats the case.

Thank you so much
 

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Hi Ermey

We looked into adoption before we started fertility treatment.  We were told by Social Services that there is no upper age limit but you must reasonably expect to live to see the child into adulthood.  My husband was 38 at the time and there was no problem with his age. I dont know if it varies from county to county tho.  We are in Essex and my friends uncle was 42 and that was in Surrey.

Hope this helps and good luck with whatever you decide to do

L xx
 

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Am in similar position. First ICSI failed and plan to have maybe 2 more tries, but feel time always ticking by and am aware adoption is a lengthy process. I made enquiries some time back with our local social services. For children over 2, they do all the preadoption assessment and preparation classes etc, and like you to be 6 months post treatment to have "come to terms" with loss of having own birth child. They said they don't have a strict upper limit but aim at about 40 for preschool children. For under 2s, they put you on a waiting list and only do the preadoption paperwork when a baby comes up and you are near top of list. More waiting. I don't know if they let you go on the list whilst still having treatment, but suspect the 6 month rule still applies. Am not sure whether to look into this further, but at present am focussing my energies on next treatment.

Good luck

Treen
 

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Hi Girls

Some Local Authorities (LA's) have a limit on the age of the children you can adopt if you are older.  i.e they like a maximum age gap between you and the children.  So some LA's might not let you adopt a very young child if you are older, but this would not preclude you from adopting slightly older children.

Each LA operates in a different way.  Most ask that you have a break between tx and adoption, but again that varies.  The best thing to do is make contact with the LA in your area and ask them for an adoption information pack.  Most do information evenings or sessions so  you could always go along to one of these and have your questions answered.

Sorry to appear so vague but each LA is completely different, there is no blanket answer.

Good luck to you all.
Love
Karen x
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thank you everyone, thats been helpful.

Good luck to you all.
x
 

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Karen's right, each area is different.
West Kent said at the info evening that they are just as likely to place a baby with a couple in their early forties as they are a couple in their early 30s, like us.
We are apparently a priority case for "processing" because we asked for a sibling group. All sorts of things can affect the wait times.  But it isn't like once you have been to panel and are approved you go on a waiting list for a baby and eventually reach the top of the list and get one- it's done on a best match basis- so you might not wait long or you might wait ages!

best to contact your local team nd find out. people like the catholic children's society can be really helpful sources of information too.
kylie
 

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My husband is 61 and I am 28; taking an average of our ages I presume we wouldn't be able to adopt, so would I be able to get round this by adopting a child in my name only? Anyone know the answer?
 
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