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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all and thank you for reading my post

This should be the most happy and joyfull time. I have waited a long time to get my second child but all i do is cry and say i cant cope. I feel so bad telling my DH that i wish i could turn the cock back. My relationship is suffering so bad i think its a good job that my DH works away. My poor DD just want to be out all the time and i feel so bad on her. I wont take anti d's so i have to wait till the 12th of June to see a councilor.
I feel my life has ended since i gave birth to my son  :'( and Ive lost who i am. All he dose is cry 24/7 and i don't know why. He wont let any 1 hold him but me and he wants to be held all day.
I feel like i could explode at any moment. I cant eat all i have ate in 3 weeks is 2 bowls of cereal. I have no help from any 1 its just me and the kids all week. Ive also been told i have OCD with my cleaning and i need help for that. But i don't think i do i just love a clean house.
The list just doesn't stop. I don't know how to put this right

Am i going mad? i feel so bad even posting this


Kelli
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Thank you for you reply  ^hugme^

I had very bad pnd with my DD and i keep telling my self things will get better in time.
I'm just so sick of walking around with a fake smile on my face pretending its all great. When i just want to burst out in tears and tell them all to f.off my anger towards others has got so bad i almost slapped a lady in the asda today. I just don't want my DD and my DH to suffer to but i can see they are. I don't want my DD to resent the baby by thinking things were fine before he came along. My DH said I'm always shouting at him and nothing he dose is ever right and I'm trying to hard to make things perfect. I just want to put my coat on and not look back. Last night i spent 6 hours crying in bed then it was time to get up I'm just so tired.

My OCD has been a problem for a long time but since Shae was born I'm finding it hard to adjust to his routine and I'm trying to hard to get him into mine. I just cant get my head around how my life has changed. I know i said in my last post i don't think i have OCD well i think i don't want to admit it. I clean the whole house top to bottom twice a day,dust 2 many times to count and mop and hover 3/4 times a day. With Shae crying alot its just all to much and i need to get this sorted for all our sakes.

I feel lots better just typing this

Thank you for listening to me

Love Kelli
 

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Kelli

Are you really set against anti Ds?  Could you maybe take something alternative (unless you are BF) something like St John's Wort or Bach's rescue remedy has a good reputation too.  I never wanted to go on anti Ds and my GP tried to put me on Prozac when the twins were 8 weeks but after 3 months of struggling I can't continue to feel like this and have just started on another type so hoping that they will take effect soon.

I cried a lot in the first few weeks.  I think even if you have a child already it is still hard to adjust to having a new baby and the sleep deprivation always makes things gloomier.  Oohh the times I wanted to walk out the door...and still do occasionally.  Don't feel bad about it think its perfectly normal when things all get a bit much.

^hugme^
Louise xx
 

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Kelli I have tried Bachs in the past and it really was helpful, have to say not using it this time but not sure why really.
^hugme^

Clare
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Were will i buy bachs? is it like a herbal thing??

Thank you for your support  ^hugme^

Cant stop on he wants another feed.

Kelli
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank yo so much  ^hugme^
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I got some of they backs stuff. I put it on as soon as i got it ;). How long will it take to work??

I had a VERY bad day today  :( Shae just cryed from 8 till 3.30 and he only stopped cos i had to ring my friend to help me cos i was going out my mind  :(

We went into town and how i never gave some 1 a slap i don't know. I'm sick of other peoples comments.

I hope you Lady's are doing OK? thank you for listening

Love Kelli
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Superstar hi

No he is just wanting me to hold him all the time and I'm finding it so hard to bond with him. I feel so bad even saying that cos i wanted him for so long. I don't have any 1 to help me only when my DH is home on a weekend. I just don't know what to do or were to turn  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Hope your all OK


Love Kelli
 

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Kelli

Don't feel bad bonding sometimes takes time its not always instantaneous.  He is still really young and you've not long since giving birth so your emotions will be all over the place.  Don't be too hard on yourself you're doing a great job.  Have you got no family nearby?  I know how you feel my DH worked away from Fri am till Mon night up to and including the first 3 months of my LOs being born and it is so isolating.  Im sure your little one will settle down it is all new to him and he needs to find his own routine. I think things start to get easier about 6 weeks (hopefully) so you only have a few weeks to hit that mark.  I have a lady who comes in from Homestart once a week to give me a hand, have you considered anything like that? 

Louise xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I was thinking of ringing homestart to see if that helps me abit.

I do have family in every other house in my street but none will help  :(

I hope he will settle soon. My DD was around 6 weeks before she settled ether that or i just got used to it  :)

If it wasn't for this site i would crack up

Love Kelli
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I had a good long talk with my HV today and i got it all of my chest. I was so worried that she would think i was an unfit mother. She told me bonding will come over time as i learn to cope better. We are going to start controlled crying cos Shae is so spoilt so i will see how that gos.

Ive give in over the anti d's and I'm going to see my GP tomorrow

I hope you are all keeping OK


Take care love Kelli
 

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Hi Kelli

Glad you've managed to have a chat with your HV.  Think its a release to tell someone.  Ive been on anti Ds a week now and other than feeling heavy headed for the first couple of days they've been fine.  That's a shame re your family.  Everyone buzzes round at first but then sometimes the novelty wears off :(  Let us know how you get on today.

Know what you mean about the site being a great help..Ive read things and thought...yeah that's how I feel.  It does help so much to know you're not alone.

Louise xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Supperstar no i still cant eat ive lost all my pg weight. Thanks for your support  ^hugme^


louise yes the novilty sharp went  :-\ babys must be boring when they get to 2 weeks old  :( thank you hun 
^hugme^
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
The DR gave me fluxatine i don't know if i should take them?

My brother and sister are only 17/18 so no they don't have a familt yet.


My DH rang and said im nuts and can't be trusted  :( i don't know how i can get him to understand  :(

Right must dash got to get sorted for the school run


Love Kelli
 

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I don't think most fellas know how to handle things when their wife/partner gets PND.  What does he mean you can't be trusted that seems harsh.  Did you take the Fluoxetine?
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Wow 5 minz to my self  :eek:

I never took the anti di's i do feel a bit better in my self as ive started to come to terms with Shae crying all the time and im not supper woman.

My DH is also been a bit better with me witch helps  :)

If i have a bad day i try to not let it get me down so much

Hope your all ok


thanks kel
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Who am i trying to kid that I'm OK  :'( :'( :'(

I feel like sh!t  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

My little man is just crying all the time and i don't know what to do

I NEED sleep so bad.

My HV just told me to accept i have a winging baby and 1 day he will stop. Well when thats all you listen to 24/7 its not that easy to come to terms with it.

I just don't have time for any thing at all cos all i do is try and settle him  :'( :'( :'(

Kelli
 

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Big hugs Kelli,

Are you taking the anti d's now? how are you finding them?

Did you contact homestart?

Take care your a fab mum

Donna x x
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
No Hun i never took them. I just can't bring my self to ring homestart my DH will go mad  :(

Its all so unfair on my poor DD she has started to play up now and she told my mum she just wants my attention and i never have time. God that just broke my heart.

Even on a weekend I'm not getting a break when my DH is home  :( he try but still wakes me to ask things.

I just feel so bad moaning so much when i wanted this so bad  :'( :'( :'( :'(

Take care Kelli
 
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