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Leaving LO overnight

2K views 26 replies 20 participants last post by  jocole69 
#1 ·
We are thinking about going away for a night or two, just the two of us, but I keep putting it off because I haven't left Lola alone overnight yet.

How old were your LOs when you first left them overnight, and how did you stop yourselves panicking and turning straight back home?

Jo xx
 
#5 ·
I left Louis when he was about 10 months old with my parents .... he probably stays over every 4-6 weeks for a night.  He loves it and it means we can catch a movie ... infact he's over there now, as we went out last night and saw Sex and the City  ;)

The first time I was panicky ... even though he was with my parents, but it was more because I was anxious that he didn't give them a bad night etc ... but now I am fine with it.

Bels x
 
#6 ·
Hi Sugar - I left Charlie overnight with my aunt a few weeks ago (16 months)- I was really nervous, especially as he was getting over chickenpox! He was absolutely fine, and spoilt rotten by my aunt, uncle and 2 of my cousins who all decided to pop round to help ;D

To make it as smooth as possible, we left him with my aunt for a day, a couple of weeks beforehand as a trial run, and whilst there was tears when I left, my aunt texted me 10 mins later to say he was fine. When we left him overnight we went to a wedding. I rang after the ceremony and he was fine. I rang again before dinner to check (worried about the chicken pox etc) to see if I should go and collect him - my aunt told me he was absolutely fine, they were having a lovely time and I should go and have a few drinks ;D She texted me later to say he had gone to sleep happily, and when I rang in the morning I was told he'd slept till 8.30 (something he never does at home!) and that they were having so much fun, we shouldn't hurry back!

All I would say is that it was more stressful for me than him, and I'm pleased we've done it now and can do it again. Like you, I don't have my mum nearby, otherwise I would have started a lot earlier.

Blu
 
#7 ·
Josh had been home for about 2 or 3 months when we went to a spa for the night - bliss!  He regularly spends the night with various grandparents :) 

No-one's volunteered to have the girls yet, otherwise I'd be off like a shot ;D

xx Clare
 
#8 ·
We left Alec with my folks overnight when he was almost 6 months, they live in Scotland and we dont see them very much so he doesnt know them, but at that age it really didnt matter and everything was fine. We couldnt do it now as we have serious clingy issues going on at the mo!!
The only thing that did happen was on a call to check how they were getting on my mum said she had something to confess, I immediately thought OMG she has cut his hair, as both sets of grandparents are always banging on about his hair needing cut (the more people go on about it the longer it is going to be before he gets a proper cut!)... I was ready to flip when she said she had chucked out DH's holey socks!!

My mum also thought she could fix the screamy bedtimes we were having at that point and was quite smug about it... and no, of course she didnt fix it and she was frazzled by the time he went to sleep. Being a horrible daughter I was quietly pleased about that one!!

 
#9 ·
My parents had Molly overnight when she was 3 weeks old. Was very difficult but I desperately needed the sleep and a rest. Makes it easier too as if you put it off, just becomes more difficult.

x
 
#10 ·
Hi,
I first left the girls overnight when they were about 18 months (1 night) as I was at a Christmas party and H was away. Then just before they were 2 they stayed at my parents when we moved house for 2 nights (we were in SUCH a state they couldn't come home!). Recently we left them for 4 WHOLE nights whilst in Monte Carlo - was great, but I was ready to come home (very unlike me!)
I am not at all worried about them, just me, as I feel a bit guilty. But, TBH, my parents barely went out when I was a kid, but we used to stay with my Nan regularly, it was a FAB treat and I wish I could still do it! I never felt left behind/left out and didn't even think about what they might be doing without us there ;)
So, I'm going to keep up the odd night here and there (about once a month or so) with them staying at my parents place.
Jane
xx

BTW - they are really good sleepers and even when we go to someones house they've never visited, they ask where their cots are and where they are going to sleep! So I don't think I would have an issue leaving them anywhere!  ::)
 
#11 ·
hi amy was 20 months and it was our wedding anniversary, I'd had a miscarraige the week before and my friend called to collect her for what we thought was a few hours but she wouldn't let us have her back!!! So we had dinner out and a lovely lie in and have left her lots since. Very hard as amy is epileptic and has fits more often at night - the last time she stayed out at the same friend - at xmas her husband found amy fitting in bed and their little boy still fast asleep!!! But she loves sleepovers so I have to be brave

Hannah was 5 months old and my flight was delayed (that's my work) so I walked in the door at 6am and realised we'd done a night apart and has had the odd night away since.

love sarah x x
 
#12 ·
We left Darcey with my mom when D was 11 months old. My mom knows her schedule as she's spent lots of time with us. We left D at 4pm and drove to the beach. We sat looking at each other and laughing about the fact that we had a night off and didn't know what to do with ourselves. I sent my mom a couple of text messages and the last one came back just after 8pm saying "Darcey is fast asleep and all is fine, now stop worrying and enjoy your night out!" So we did. We still woke at 7am and went round to my mom at 9am to collect Darcey, who was not even vaguely put out by the fact that we had left her with Granny.  ::)  A week later we left her with my mom for a week, visiting every day for a while, but having a much needed break.
 
#13 ·
We haven't yet and like Chux, have no intentions of doing so  ;D  I'm sure he'd be fine (although he's still B/F at night so at least my breadt would have to make an apperance at some point!!!!) its me I'm worried about!

Marie xxx
 
#14 ·
I had to leave Alex overnight at 10wks old - I had to have an op, he stayed with my Mum so DH could be with me and go to work as normal - it was hell but completely out of my hands.  We have since then left him with my parents one a month (or so) and he's great, doesn't bat an eyelid.  I have recently been in hospital for 5 days and he had to be very flexible with arrangements, grandparents collecting him from nursery, uncles caring for him for a few hours, Daddy here there and everywhere but we're really reaped the benefits of him being comfortable staying with my parents.  I've never left him anywhere else and i'm not sure how comfortable i'd be with it, I fear not very comfortable at all but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Bev xx
 
#15 ·
We left Jamie over night for the first time at 10 months old and only because I had an early hospital appointment the next day and it was easier to leave him with my mum and dad. I was ill with worry about it but of course he was fine. I think the first time you leave them is that hardest but I do believe it's good for them and extremely good for you to get a break!

Daniel was 5 months and I left him with my best friend overnight as I was at breaking point from lack of sleep. I trusted her 100% and it was great to get a break and a full nights sleep.

Go for it and enjoy yourselves,

Viv
 
#16 ·
Matthew was 11 months when we first left him overnight fully, though I had planned to do it earlier - at about 6 months, to go to a wedding, but the little monkey went on bottle strike a few days earlier so I had to stay home and breastfeed him! :mad:

My parents have spent alot of time with him since he was born and know what he likes and doesn't like, have bathed him and done his bedtime routine before, etc so he's very comfortable with that.  M adores them and it's mutual.  We sort of worked up to spending a full night away by going to another wedding nearer home and that time we went back to their spare room in the small hours just so we could get up with him and give my parents a lie in!  So the first real overnight that counts was when I took DP for dinner - to a hotel in the New Forest!  ;D so we could get some proper kip and not come home til lunchtime.  It was bliss but I woke up missing him. 
We then left him for a long weekend when DP took me to Prague for my 40th - and proposed  ;D  That time my parents looked after him at our house, it made him alot more comfortable as all his things were there and he was in his own bed.  He didn't miss us at all :(

I always feel like I'd like to go home and just have a quick cuddle with him but then I'd like to go away again  ;D ;D

Funnily enough I was just talking to my parents about it this afternoon, they said they'll have both babies for a long weekend so DP and I can go on a short honeymoon, I was saying I wasn't sure about leaving Sadie for that long so young, but I'd happily leave Matthew!!  ;D ;D

Claire x
 
#17 ·
Iestyn had his first sleepover at my best mates house when he was about 7 weeks old.  I didn't really want him to go, but I was absolutely shattered and my friend had been adamant that she should have him overnight (I had her little boy, my godson 3 years earlier overnight and he was only 3 weeks old - that was scarey).  I made ever excuse under the sun as I was still breastfeeding, but our nursery nurse at our post natal group also said it was an excellent idea.... so I was kind of bullied.

However, I slept like a log, though had boobs the size of watermelons the following morning and couldn't wait to get him back. 

Although the night was lovely - I found for me, the problem was nothing to do with missing him or worrying about him, it was that I'd had a lovely nights sleep and then was thrown straight back into horrendous sleepless nights and they were so much harder to deal with after having broken the pattern! ^chuckle^.

Since then, bearing in mind he's now just over 4 and a half, he's had loads of sleepovers, he loves them.  I have a terrible problem that wherever we go, he always wants to stay and have a sleepover - I literally have to wrench him away from his friends houses.

I also find it harder now when he's not about as he's such a big presence in the house when he is here that you really notice when he's not.



 
#18 ·
Thanks for all your replies :)

Chux & Marie, I'm kind of in your camp, and would happily never leave her, but also recognise that me and DH having some time together is important. I'm so surpised that I feel this way, because I always thought I'd be relaxed about stuff like this, and although I'm chilled about most stuff, this isn't one of them! ::)

It looks like your LO ones have been left from a few weeks to a few years, so I suppose Lola's right in the middle and I should go for it.

She'll be in her own home, with MiL staying here. She already looks after her 3 mornings a week when I work, and normally stays over once a week too, so me and DH can have a night out, so I know Lola would be fine, me on the other hand, probably not!!

Blu, we're lucky that MiL is always at hand, but I have to say, if it was my own mom, I'd be so much more relaxed, and would probably have done it long before now.

Ok, think I'll just have to bite the bullet, as you say, the first time will be the worst.

Thanks again,
Jo xx
 
#19 ·
A and E were 6 weeks old but I find it harder the older they get.  They rarely wake at night but I think if they did and I wasn't around they would probably panic.

HJG
 
#20 ·
Emma is 13 months and I still haven't. Like you Jo I feel it is time and would be good for me and dh2b but who would I leave her with? We moved last August and I don't know anyone that well and both my mum and PIL don't see Emma that often to say she knows them. My best friend (Emma's godmother) would have her but I feel guilty asking as she has 3 kids of her own. ::) I guess I'll do it one day but honestly I hate the thought. :(

xxx
 
#21 ·
I first left her overnight when she was about 8 months old.  We left her this weekend for 2 nights for the first time while we went to a wedding!  it was lovley to have a bit of 'grown up' time, but gosh did we miss her!  i couldn't wait to get back to her on sunday!
 
#22 ·
Hi,
I left my Lo with her grandparents at about 12 weeks!!! but they do live up the road from me and see her nearly every day so she is used to being up there. I fretted a bit the 1st few times and kept texting dad to make sure all was ok.. but now we go out once a week and she stays overnight in her travel cot  :)  She loves it!!

Only thing is we are off to see bon Jovi on 27th June and have to leave her all day, then overnight and back late afternoon next day - bit worrying...

Good luck , sure you deserve a night out  ;)

jo xx
 
#23 ·
I'm going to see bon Jovi tomorrow - very excited!  M will be spending the evening in the travel cot with my BIL, but i will be taking her home with me afterwards.
 
#24 ·
OMG!!! have a fab time Sally, do you know whose supporting them? where are you going?we are going to Twickenham, but i live in Devon so have to stay overnight really. Got tickets today! Woohooo  :)   
J x
 
#25 ·
Jo I thik its really important that couple have couple time!  Thats why DH and I go out once a month on our own just to reaquaint ourselves, children no matter how great they are do put a strain on a relationship one way or another... enjoy your night out when you take the plunge (Lola will have a great time!!!)
 
#26 ·
OMG they were fab, as ever!!!  That man is totally delicious......

The support group were a local band who won a competition to support them - which was ok.  Would have been better to have The Feeling though, as i know they are supporting them on this tour at other venues.

M was fine with BIL - never woke up until i went in to take her home, and even then she didn't really wake up!
 
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