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Discussion Starter · #201 ·
Hi Porsche

Whether your partner will be your child's legal parent depends entirely on the paperwork you have signed at the clinic before IUI/ embryo transfer. If you have both already signed the parenthood election forms (which it sounds like you have), that means that either of you has until conception to give notice withdrawing your consent (there is a procedure for this). You can't withdraw your consent to your partner being a parent after you have conceived so this is something you need to make a decision on now.

As to the donor sperm, that's a tricky question. Technically neither of you 'owns' the sperm and only the donor has an absolute right to dictate how it is used. In practice, this will come down to negotiation with your clinic, and it can be a delicate issue to handle.

Feel free to contact us if you'd like some more specific advice on your options and what to do.

Natalie

Read more: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=300410.0#ixzz2ILGaT4wp
 

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EDIT - retrospectively chosen to delete post
 

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Discussion Starter · #203 ·
Nope - you just need to take your CP certificate to the birth registration.
There are some issues for non CPs who conceive outside the UK, but it's not a problem for CPs
 

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Natalie - thanks for your advice.

After a failed IVF and a three month break, we tried again with AI at home. Got the shock of my life to get a positive test yesterday.

Hopefully this by-passes the whole legal quagmire the clinic was dropping us in... We are now free to arrange our own affairs!

 

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Discussion Starter · #205 ·
Great news Beebo - many congratulations!
 

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Hi Natalie,
My good friend is in a lesbian partnership (not civil partners), but is seperating from her partner.  She is birth mum to 3 children concieved via IVF after April 2009, partner is definately not on any of the birth certificates as parent, unsure about any paperweork signed at clinic but I have told my friend to check (the first child definatley nothing was signed at clinic) the other 2 is uncertain whether anything was signed.
My friend seems to think that if partner wants PR (she wants this too and would sign for her to have it) that they have to be civil partners to apply, that really didn't sound right to me but don't want to confuse her even more by saying something that I am not totally sure of either.  Any words of wisdom?  If she wants specialist advice could she come to you via phone/internet and how much would an initial bit of advice cost?
Thanks
 

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Discussion Starter · #207 ·
Hi Starrysky


I've just answered your post on the Ask a Lawyer page too so I hope you don't mind me repeating myself!


The questions of financial responsibility, parental responsibility and contact are all separate.  Your friend's ex will only be financially responsible where she is a legal parent and that will apply in respect of any children conceived after 6 April 2009 where they both signed the parenthood election forms at the clinic (irrespective of whether your friend's partner is on the birth certificate).


Whether she has parental responsibility depends on whether she was named on the birth certificate.  If so, she will have PR, if not then as a non civil partner she can only get via a residence order or adoption (both of which are potentially tricky, although possible, after a separation, depending on whether your friend supports it).


It's complex stuff this, but we would be happy to advise your friend on her current position and options.  It's well worth being clear about how everything interrelates, since she could easily give away joint PR without affecting the financial position and that might not be the best course for her, depending on the circumstances.  We charge a fixed fee for initial advice (covering a meeting and a letter) - if you email me at [email protected] I can give you some further details to pass on.


Best wishes


Natalie
 

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Hi im having a panic as we have signed a form at the clinic so we are both down on the birth certificate as parents but dont have a copy of this atm and are not married but my friend who lives down south has been told from her clinic for a same sex couple to have both names on the birth certificate you must be married so Im a little confused and worried about what right and wrong as far as I was aware what we had been told was rite but now im unsure....please help....sorry if this has already been discussed in this forum xx
 

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Hi
I am not sure what your friend is referring to, however, I can tell you that my partner and I are not married and we are both down as legal parents on our boys birth certificates (not on our daughter's as she was born before the change in law). We also went through a clinic and signed all the relevant paperwork. I am not sure whether your friend is referring  to if you get pregnant using a known donor (outside of a clinic), but you should have no problems at all. Also when we registered the boys the registrar did not want to see any paperwork, we just clarified the situation and with DS2 it was very straight forward, I think they are getting much more used to it now. (more of a time consuming process with DS1 as the law had only recently changed and we were the first couple that the registrar had dealt with!)
Good luck with it all.
 

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Thanku  :) so much 2mummies was starting to think we were goin have to get married in the next few months before our next ivf treatment we do want to get married but are hoping to have a wedding and naming ceremony together had a panic on still dont get why her clinic say one thing and ours the other but as long as I know dp can be named on birth certificate im fine with that..... now ive  just gotta fall pregnant  ^pray^ ^reiki^ xx
 

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That I believe used to be the case, our first child doesnt have us both on the birth certificate and we were married but it was before the bill was passed in 2009. Now if you conceive as a couple you can both legally be put on the birth certificate whether married or not. Makes life that bit easier as my wife and I had to go through months of interviews in order for her to adopt her own child. Good luck with everything but just listen to the girls at LWC they know what their talking about and a great bunch of people  :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #212 ·
This is a bit of a late reply, but I thought it might be helpful to clarify anyway. You can both go on the birth certificate if:

1) You are civil partners (or married overseas) at the time you conceive - this applies as long as you conceive artificially, and so covers home insemination as well as clinic treatment (i.e. anything which is not conceiving through sex) anywhere in the world.

2) You are not civil partners but you conceive at a licensed clinic in the UK and, before you do, both sign the relevant 'parenthood election' forms (currently HFEA Forms WP and PP). This is restricted to treatment at a clinic, and to treatment in the UK. If you conceive by home insemination or abroad then you won't both be parents automatically.

These rules came into effect for conceptions on or after 6 April 2009 - before that only the birth mum was a legal parent.

There's more info about all this at http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/knowledge-centre/donor-conception-law-for-lesbian-mums which may be helpful too.

Hope that clears up any confusion though.
 

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We eventually became legal parents to our boys today after 5 years!!!! The judge in court was so lovely and really involved the boys and made them feel like it was fun!! This step parent adoption has Been so long mainly due to Herts social services being So short staffed. Eventually we had an amazingly supportive social worker and my wife can now legally in all respects be the mama she has always been and will always be xxxx thanks nat for you advice many years ago !
 

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Discussion Starter · #214 ·
Yay! That's such fantastic news - many congratulations
 

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Hi Natalie my partner and I are currently doing IVF and im wondering what form I need that nominates my partner as the other childs parent have got so many forms as this is our 5 try of fertility treatment praying it works thanks again x
 

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Discussion Starter · #216 ·
Hi Rainbows


Sorry I've only just seen your message and this reply may be way too late now! For anyone else too, this thread has got massive and I'm not fab at checking so if I ever don't respond, try posting a specific message on Ask a Lawyer.


The forms you need (assuming you aren't married/CPs) are HFEA forms WP (for birth mum) and PP (for non birth mum) and both need to be signed after counselling and before IUI/ embryo transfer.


Best of luck with you treatment (or hopefully by now with pregnancy!).


Natalie
 
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