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Discussion Starter · #41 ·
Sounds like a good plan.  Actually, we did the same and it was lovely.  We registered our CP the day the new law came in in December (with just our immediate family) and then had our wedding outdoors the following summer.  It was great because we made our wedding ceremony really personal - no script to follow so we said what we really meant.  And both days felt really special. 
 

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thanks natgamble

that is really helpfull.  we could register over a couple of holiday trips back to the uk.

aimeex
 

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Hi
Just to say we have our CP booked for the 10th July so the boys need to hang on in there!!!
Bought our outfits and rings and getting our heads around it. Cant wait now and looking forward to it.
Thanks Nat for all your help
Kerry and Jen
 

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Discussion Starter · #44 ·
Hoorah - congratulations in advance! ;D
 

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Hi Nat
CP was a really lovely day. We enjoyed it more than we thought and love being wives!!!!
Babies hanging on in there. Where do we get the PR form from?? Can we get it now so we are prepared as we will be so busy soon!! Keep searching the net and can not find out where to start.
Thanks again
Kerry and Jen
 

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Discussion Starter · #46 ·

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Thanks so much Nat
Its so easy when you know how!! If only I had asked you a week ago?
Kerry
 

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Hi Nat

I've a question for you.

My partner and I are in the middle of our 'surrogacy' (tecnically she has donated the embryos to me as we can do surrogacy as you know) ie I've got her embryos due to womb lining issues she had (we test on friday!!)

We had 2 put back and 2 more went on to blastocysts and were frozen. BUT.. apparently we are not allowed to use these frozen ones for 6 months (if this cycle does not work). This is somethnig to do with a rule/law(?)not being allowed to use donated frozen gametes until they have been frozen for 6 months. I'm guessing this is like frozen sperm ie so they can retest the donor and you know they have nothing that be passed on. BUT - in our case this is ridiculous - she's my partner!! I've just had her fresh embryos!

Our issue is, I'm 39 beginning of november and we have been trying to conceive with julia for 3 years. Now if this cycle doesn't work, I don't really want to wait until february/march to try with the frozen ones as I'll then be heading for 40 and if they don't work, the chances of us having a second child with my own eggs is getting slimmer and slimmer. I'd want to try with me until the frozen ones were available - but obviously this is not easy for my partner (our first child is biologically mine and it would be best if our second could be hers).

Ideally we would want to try again straight away with the frozen one. If it didn't work then, we'd try with my eggs and I think my partner could accept that easier. But having two frozen blastocycts sitting there would make it hard for her to want me to try with my eggs.

Hope that all makes sense but after all that, my question is... is this a law ie that they have to stay frozen for 6 months or is it just a HFEA 'rule'. It obviously takes no account of civil partnerships. Could we get them to make an exception for us if I contacted them or is it literally a law of the land that we can be made exception to?

any info much appreciated.

Thanks

Terri
 

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Discussion Starter · #49 ·
Hi Terri

This is challengeable.  The HFEA Code of practice says:

"Gamete providers in surrogacy arrangements are expected to be screed in accordance with screening requirements for donors of gametes for treatment."

First of all that makes it clear that it is the normal rule, but not an absolute condition.  Second of all, I would dispute that you are in a surrogacy arrangement anyway.  A 'surrogate mother' is defined at law as a woman who carries a child with a view to any child being handed over to another person.  You are not giving your baby away, so it is not a surrogacy arrangement.

Since there is no requirement to quarantine donated eggs (for practical reasons - the survival rates are poor), then I can't see any reason why your embryos should be quarantined for six months.

I'd go back to your clinic and say all of this and if you are still having trouble let me know and I'll wade in for you.

Good luck

Natalie
 

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Thanks for that Nat

The clinic don't class us as a 'surrogate' case - that was just my wording because you have to be married to use a surrogate due to parental rights ie the biological father would automatically have parental rights to the baby he and his wife have used a surrogate for. The clinic classed us in the donated embryos grouping - ie julia had to do all the donor screening and go on the donor register so she could donate to me......

Anyway, as it happens, things have changed rapidly in the last 2 days as we tested early and got a BFP!!!!!!!! Hurray! Very early though so still good to know we can challenge it should anything go wrong.

Also this means we can now start thinking properly about our CP and wills so may be getting in touch re this soon.

Thanks

Terri
 

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Ooh, Terri, you saying wills has reminded me that's something on my to do list! Natalie, is this something you could do for us remotely (i.e. by post, email etc?). I'd rather you than someone we don't "know"! If not, do you (does anyone) know of gay-friendly solicitors in West Yorkshire?

Minty
xxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #52 ·
Terri - Hoorah.  What brilliant news.  Loads of congratulations.

Minty - with pleasure.  I do loads of wills etc remotely since I'm based in Bournemouth and my clients are all over the place.  If you email me direct, we can get things rolling.

Natalie
[email protected]
 

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Terri -

I have just been reading this thread and was intrested to see that you have carried your partners eggs ! Firstly congrats on getting a BFP !! thats great news - we did the same - i carried my partners eggs - did IVF in may 06 fell first time with twin boys ! they are now 20 months old - i just havent come across many other people who have done it like that ! so its gr8 to find someone !

where do you have your treatment - we had ours at the london womens clinic in harley street.

We are also going through the adoption at the mo so we both have same parental rights ! when is your first scan? you may have twins !!!!! I had IUI last thurs so hoping for baby number 3 !! do preg test on 04/10 !!
 

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Hi Twinmummy

Nice to hear from someone whose done the same thing! We didn't actually plan it that way - we were planning to carry one each but we found my partner had problems with her womb lining so I became the 'surrogate' and it worked first time. Just one for us though - had the scan on friday. Ideal really as I would have worried more with twins - you know all the extra risks. We were treated at Midlands Fertility Clinic in aldridge where our first son was conceived too.

I post on the LGBT site on the general chit chat thread if you fancy posting over there.

Good luck with your IUI - fingers crossed!

Terri
 

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thats great - how do i get there ! im new to this !! so please excuse me ! thats greats new , wheter you get one, two or even three but as you say more than one is of course an added risk not to mention the worry !! good luck during the pregnancy !  :)
 

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Hi Nat
Ive been trying to do research and Im still getting confused on the legal issues me and my partner will have to deal with next year.

I thought that if we were civil partnered, that made my partner automatically the child's other parent but so far I cant find anything to tell me that. Presently we are not married (civil partnered) but were going to register to that we are a proper family unit from before our baby is born. Can you simplify our options if there is any otheres than just applying for parental responsibility please?

Also if that is the only way whether or not we are civil partnered when would be apply for parental responsibility and how long before she could adopt?

And, sorry to go on, what rights does she have in regards of the birth certificate? We have agreed that the child will take her surname, would that be a problem?

Vicki
 

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nat knows everything much better than  :) i but in the meantime...

currently, only the mother's name goes on the birth certificate. you can give the child whatever surname you like.

you can apply for PR as soon as the baby is registered. your partner does not automatically have PR rights but it's very simple if you're CP'd. you just go to an office and get a form stamped (office at the court i think?). we did this and i know it was simple, I just can't remember the finer details  :)

there is an adoption thread somewhere in this (gay and lesbian) section. you can register your intent to adopt at 3 months and then at 6 you can adopt (although where we are there is a massive backlog of adoptions so nothing has happened for us yet).

there is some bill they were talking about passing or that would allow second parent (who's not the father) onto the birth certificate and give CP automatic PR but i don't know whether it was agreed finally or when it would come into force.
 

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Discussion Starter · #59 ·
Excellent summary from Rosypie and not a lot to add really, but just to reiterate:

Being civil partners doesn't give you any rights automatically. However, it does make it slightly easier for you to acquire rights.

What you need to do is:

1. Once you are pregnant, make wills. This protects whoever is the non birth mother by ensuring that she would have a right to look after your baby if whoever is the birth mother died (e.g. in childbirth). This is the only protection measure you can take before the birth.

2. Once your baby is born and you have a birth certificate, you can acquire parental responsibility for the non-birth mother by signing an agreement (available at http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/cpra2_1205.pdf). You have to be civil partners to do this. You just need to pop into your local family court and a clerk in the office will witness your signature on the form. The non birth mother then has parental responsibility (i.e. legal authority to act as a parent and to make decisions etc), though not full legal parenthood.

3. Apply for adoption to give the non birth mother full and permanent parental status. You can do this whether or not you are civil partners. As Rosypie says, the process involves giving notice to social services (which you can do immediately after the birth) and then applying to court for adoption. The timing works as follows: you have to wait at least 3 months after giving notice to social services before submitting your court application, and you cannot submit your court application until your child is 6 months old.

The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill 2008 which is currently going through Parliament will, in the future, allow both mothers to be named on the birth certificate. Both will then have full and equal parental status from conception and none of the steps above will be necessary. However, the Bill will only apply to children conceived after it becomes law, which is currently expected to be toward the end of 2009.

I hope that clarifies.

Good luck

Natalie
 

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Hi just wondering if there are any special legal steps I should think about if we go abroad for DI........ ??
 
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