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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Here's to a good new year for everyone......

Post matching

Karen : Approved at panel on 22nd April. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moving in on 9/12/04 ^jumpin^.
Bex (Bex32): Approved at panel in April. X moved in on 8/11/04^jumpin^



Post Panel/Awaiting Match

Caroline W: Approved at panel in September, now awaiting a suitable match.

Cindy: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Now awaiting a suitable match

Ann: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, possible move in date in January 2005.


Waiting for Panel Date

Everhopeful: Waiting for panel date (early Feb?)


Home Study/Prep Course

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment. Assigned a new SW now moved house.

Ang (Molly 2003): Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Mandy (MSW): Starting home assessment in December

Nat (Crazy): Currently doing home assessment.

Kylie (Boomerang Girl): Allocated SW. prep course Jan/Feb 05.

Homer & Marge: Prep course September.

Nicola (NickyDuncanFinn): Prep course January?

Nicky: Currently doing assessment

Shannis: Prep course starts 2/9/04

Morgana: Allocated SW, Prep course May 2005

Donnalee: Prep course complete awaiting allocation of SW.

LB : Prep course starts in Jan

Georgia Prep course starts 2/2/05

Tracey H: Allocated SW and attending prep course in Feb 2005.

JenniferF Prep course in January 2005

Pam (saphy75) Prep course in the Spring of 2005

Paddy *Adopting from RUSSIA * SW visit completed and course starts 3/12/04



Initial Stages

Nerys (lochness) Attending Foster Care Open evening on 27/01/05

Jude2 First interview with one agency 7/2/05. Info evening with another, 24/2/05.

HelenB Information Day with LA 17th December

Nic (Hopingforbaby) Currently considering the adoption option


Oh where oh where can they be!

Carol (allineedisamircale): Currently doing home assessment (not sure if Carol is still posting? :-\ )

Jo (jolene): Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW (not sure if Jolene is still posting? :-\ )


Karen x
 

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hi girls

karen just read your thread, so sorry xmas didn't turn out quite as planned hun but i suppose we all get ideals in our heads then we are dissapointed when things dont go to plan. i'm terrible for getting my self carried away my mum keeps telling me off because she thinks i expect having children to be a bed of roses  ;D  i keep telling her to leave me alone and let me have my illusions while they last  ;D ;D

hope you all had a great xmas and new year, mine was very quiet this year (hoping it will be our last quiet xmas with just the 2 of us but i know it probably wont)  i haven't even been on the prep course and i'm already getting impatient ;D must learn to relax as i'm sure this journey is gonna be a long one  :mad:

donnalee  ^congrats^ on starting home study wishing you loads of luck, hope everything goes smoothly

right i'm off now take care everyone

pam xx
 

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Hi Everyone,

Karen - sorry to hear that christmas did'nt go as well as you wanted it too - alot of our family and friends were frustrated that we could not get our girls before Christmas but our Agency don't do handovers in December for 2 reasons 1 - not good to unsettle the kids at such a momentous time and 2 as parents we naturally have great expectations and these are not often met.  I am sure next year will be lots better for you all  :) it must be lovely starting the new year of as a family at long last!!!!
We are now just waiting patiently untill Thursday morning when we are linked officially to the girls!!!!! ^banana^ ^banana^ We already have the planning meeting planned for 2pm on Friday and we go straight from there to meet our 2 little ones and we have the camcorder on charge at the ready!!!! if things go well and according to plan they should be moving in the following Friday - it still al seems very sureal but hopefully soon it will sink in.
I hope everyone else is doing well and looking forward to what this year holds lets hope by the end of 2005 there will be lots of us with our families.

lots of love Ann xxxxxxx
 

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Ann
Fantastic news gosh how exciting it must be now for youand your DH.
Wishing you all the best.

Karen sorry things didn't go to plan but next year will just be fine,hey and Easter is around the corner now so maybe do an Easter Egg Hunt  in the Woods.Being a Childminder we do this every year with the kids and they love it.
Karen how long was you told to take time of work,I've been told a year but seeing as I'm selfemployed it's going to be a bit of a struggle,oh well I'll have to do it I suppose
As for me I'm OK looking forward to a meeting we have been invited to on the 25th so hopefully then all systems go.

Love Georgia
xx

 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Hi everyone

Well I've soon forgotten about Xmas as we've had some good times between then and New year and the girls are developing day by day.  The youngest is now crawling (but backwards!!) and she stood unaided against the setee yesterday.  The eldest can now say her own name and calls for her sister and says all sorts, she's currently sat singing in gobbledegoop on my lap!!

Georgia - To answer your question, as I am the major wage earner, we could only afford for me to have 6 months off.  However Social Services wanted me to have more time with the girls as there was a gap of one month between their placements.  As such they agreed to fund up to 90% of my earnings the additional leave that I am entitled to but wasn't taking.  So I broke up on 29th October last year and go back on 4th July so 8 months in all.  I did save 4 weeks annual leave and had lots of time owed so 7 weeks of this time off is taken up with this.  The rest is all the statutory and enchanced leave I get due to my length of service.

Ann - You must be so excited.  We were very lucky and had our youngest placed on 9th December.  I can't believe our eldest has been with us for 8 weeks now.  Time will fly and this time in a fortnight you won't know how your life was before!!

Cindy - not long for you now either, hope the courts release him for adoption.

Pam - hope you hear something soon.

Donna lee - good luck for your course starting.

To everyone else, I hope the new year finds you safe and well and I look forward to hearing some of your good news soon.

Love
Karen x

 

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Karen - good to hear that you had some nice times with the girls between Christmas and New Year and that they are coming on in leaps and bounds.

Donnalee - good news that you have a date.  I am still waiting for my home visit that was promised for December - grrrr.

Ann - you must be excited.  What a lovely start to 2005 for you.

All the best

Jenny
 

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hi everybody, just read your post Karen about Christmas etc:  glad you have had better times.  I think Christmas can be a funny time with children:  so much weight of expectation.  My brother and wife were really excited about their daughter's first Christmas where she knew what was going on (she's 3 1/2).  But in fact she ended up being overwhelmed by all the presents, fuss, people, change in routine.  There were tears on Christmas Day and quite a lot of bad behaviour which we don't normally see.  Quite a bad tantrum when I was taking her to her Granny's house (5 miles away) and she wanted to go on her Barbie scooter rather than in the car!

Thanks for your messages re the reading material.  I think my experience seems to be fairly common.

Georgia:  re time off.  I was planning to take a year off and then to go back 4 days per week, my husband might also work 4 days per week, so the child/children would have to be in childcare 3 days (probably a nanny at home as my husband works from home so he would still see them).  I got mixed response to this: one agency said it was OK but I would only get school age children as they would want one partner to give up work entirely until the children go to school.  i said this was not possible as I was major earner but they seemed to be deaf to this saying once I had the children I might not 'want' to go back to work.  I do get a bit annoyed.  My job is not a hobby:  we need my income, and not for luxuries (which seems to be the assumption).  When women start going on like that I do then think it's no wonder there is still sexism in the work place. 

I am not saying by any means I think giving up work is a wrong choice, I think it is great if that is what people want and can afford but I am amazed by these (working) women, assuming the woman's job is a bit of a pastime rather than a serious career.  Anyway, rant over but I checked this with a few other adopters and a lot of them said that they had also been told this.  So we are now thinking that my husband might give up work after my adoption leave, depending on age of child/ren (and assuming we get that  far!).    But sounds like Karen had more reasonable discussions with her LA.    It seems to depend on where you are:  whereabouts in the country are you Karen?  I am in SW London.

Love to eveybody,

Judith
xxx
 

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In Bath they seemed quite sensible in that they did want me to take a year off, or at the very least 6 months and then go part time for a while, but not sure what the idea will be here with our new LA??

I wouldn't be an advocate of just telling SWs what they want to hear, but presumably once the children become legally yours the decision relating to work also becomes your sole responsibility......maybe I'm wrong about that??

Even having said that even the maddest SW has to appreciate that your best intentions can go awry and you might have to change your work plans after the children become legally yours anyway?   

I'm probably waffling and making no sense.....first day back at work, couldn't get to sleep last night after 2 weeks of late-ish nights and lazy mornings, lots of coffee to keep me going today.......caffine overdose probably on its way!

xxruth.

 

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Hi girls, i'm very new here but just have to tell someone !!!!!!! I contacted a SW today who was lovely, we had a really long chat and she and a colleague are coming to see me and dh on Thursday ;D ;D

I'm so excited, I thought because we only finished ttc in December it would be far too early and that they wouldn't consider us for at least 6 months, but from what i'd told her (ie. we were offered another free IVF but turned it down to look towards adoption) and the fact that the process can take a long time etc they would like to meet us asap.

Regarding time off, I was thinking of approx 6-8 months off then going back 3 days a week. I hope i'm not frowned upon but I really can't afford to give up work, nor would I want to, i've trained long and hard to get where I am now. Anyway better stop waffling now but just had to tell someone !!!!!

LOL Val xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Val - That's great news don't forget to tell us how it goes. I'll make sure I amend this on our list.

Time off - I had quite frank discussions with my SW about this as they wanted one of us to give up work. I said if we had had our own birth children I would be doing what I am doing now with my adopted children. I know that some adoptive children have certain attachment disorders which is why they suggest one parent stays at home, but this depends upon the age and circumstances of the children you adopt. We have considered what we would do though if things don't go to plan with the girls settling and the panel wanted to know about this when we were approved. We decided that if push came to shove we would down size house and dh would give up work and then get an evening job. Doesn't bode well for quality of life issues but it would be the only way we could afford to live. I think you need to have a contingency plan whatever you decide and must be able to demonstrate that you have thought through all the options. Hope this helps. Jude in answer to your question I'm in the West Midlands.

Karen x
 

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Hi everyone

Firslty happy new year to you all, may all our dreams come true. ;)

I had an OK christmas and new year, only one small blip when found out on boxing day cousins wife is pregnant, my mum knew but didn't know how to tell me so just didn't, :mad: so we had a bit of a fall out which was horrible and very upsetting  :'( but we soon made up.

I have been busy getting the house ***** and span and have thrown loads!!!! of junk out, ;D ;D to make room for all the stuff we will hopefully need for our new aditions at some point soon, fingers crossed.

SW coming on Friday for visit number 4 and then every friday till feb with a hopeful panel date in March, yipeeeeeeeeeeee.

I got a lovely pine toy box from my parents for christmas which looks soooooooooooooo nice in my lounge, I think I am nesting :) :) :) and have choosen a winnnie the pooh theam for the bedroom.

Ann, good luck for you intro's you must be sooooooooooo excited.

Val, welcome and good luck with your adoption journey.

Re time off work my LA reccomed at least 6 months off if possible but are not to strict on it. I plan to take that time off and then review our finances, because like so many of us women my wage is the main one, so it maybe Dh that will have to change his hours. I would love to have longer off but as we have an addition 20,000 aready on our morgage due to ivf there is little chance of me being able to give up, but  my go 4 days, plus i do really love my job also. Just have to win the lottery ::)

TTFN Mandyx
 

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Hi everybody,

Val, good luck:  your SW seems to be very quick off the mark, sounds good for the future.  I contacted several agencies at the beginning of November and have not actually met anybody yet, though we have some appointments in February.

Re the time off:  I can see why they are saying what they are saying to an extent and obviously if there are attachment issues it makes a difference.  I think you are right karen, you just need to show that you are flexible and could change if need be, which of course we could but our ideal plan would not be for one of us to be at home full time.  i think I spoke to a rather snooty lady at the Catholic Children's Society.  Maybe my LA will be different (not had a proper conversation with them yet, need to wait for meeting). 

Mandy, you sound very excited, hope things go well for you.  I am sorry about your falling out with your Mum.  I think it is very hard for people to know what to do and often whatever they do isn't right, because in the end you don't want to know and you don't want not to know either.  I know a lot of my friends have dreaded telling me they are pregnant.  Luckily most have done it over the phone, so I can be all cheery and congratulatory on the phone and then burst into tears afterwards!

Ann:  best of luck with your introductions, you must be so excited!

Sorry if I have missed anybody,

Love
Judith
xxx
 

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Hi everyone! Hope you're all keeping well.

Val - great news about your meeting.  I'm v. impressed with your LA, I hope they continue to be as helpful and efficient!

Ann - you must be really excited by now!  Not long to go until you properly meet your girls.

Judith - I can completely relate to the happy cheery voice over the phone and then blubbing as soon as you've got off it!! In our first year of ttc over 20 women I knew were pregnant.... I've lost count of how many now!  I hope you get to see someone soon.

I've phoned both our LA and a voluntary agency end of Nov.  We've met the LA, who all seemed very helpful and are meeting the voluntary agency next week.. Feel very excited but slightly apprehensive about how we know who to go with.  Has anyone gone through the Voluntary Agency route? 

On the work front, when's right to tell work?  My boss has got great plans for the next year(s) which involve me but I'm hoping to take at least a year off and go back part time..

Helen
X
 

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ANN GOOD LUCK FOR TODAY

Hurry back and let us know how it goes

Love always
Georgia
xxx
 

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Hi Everyone,

It really is official....... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D not sure when we will stop  ;D ;D ;D ;D

xxxxx and xxxxx have got a new mummy and daddy we are still on shock but feel fantastic - can't wait to meet them officially tomorrow and hopefully they will be home with us very soon!!

sorry so short but we are off out for lunch to celebrate

lots of love mummy Ann xxxxxxxxxx
 

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Hi guys,

I have just literally just put the phone down to my LA and DH and myself are going to a meeting on the 11th to find out a bit more about it all.  Quite excited!!! ;D

Just a quick question though, and i have read the posts but what is the general amount of time you have to have off once you have adopted and is my company legally obliged to pay any sort of pay like you would receive with maternity pay?

Like most of you we can't afford to loose my wage!

Good Luck to everyone  ^fairydust^
Tasha

 

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Hi Natasha,

most work places give you as much paid leave as if you were on maternity......not sure if they have to though. I work in a University, and they tend to be very upto date on these sort of things so I know I should be alright for a year anyway! Your personel person at work shoudl know.

good luck,
XXRuth.
 

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I don't want them to know what i'm up to yet though as i've only been here 3 months!!!
Are there any web sites that would tell me for sure that you know off?

Thanks for your help
Tasha
 
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