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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Time for a new home girls. I hope I'e managed to keep up to date with everyone's news.

Love
Karen x

Post matching

Karen : Approved at panel on 22nd April. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04 ^jumpin^

Bex (Bex32): Approved at panel in April. X moved in on 8/11/04 ^jumpin^


Ann: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in in January 2005.


Post Panel/Awaiting Match

Caroline W: Approved at panel in September, now awaiting a suitable match.

Cindy: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Awaiting court decision on a match, court approved freeing for adoption, now waiting for timetable for introductions.


Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result

Everhopeful: Panel 17th Feb 2005



Home Study/Prep Course

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment. Assigned a new SW now moved house.

Ang (Molly 2003): Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Mandy (MSW): Starting home assessment in December, panel date of 3/3/05 given

Nat (Crazy): Currently doing home assessment.

Kylie (Boomerang Girl): Allocated SW. prep course Jan/Feb 05.

Homer & Marge: Prep course September.

Nicola (NickyDuncanFinn): Prep course Feb 2005

Nicky: Currently doing assessment

Shannis: Prep course starts 2/9/04

Morgana: Allocated SW, Prep course May 2005

Donnalee: Home assessment starts 18/1/05

LB : Prep course starts in Jan 2005

Georgia Prep course starts 2/2/05

Tracey H: Allocated SW and attending prep course in Feb 2005.

JenniferF Awaiting vist from Sw to start prep course

Pam (saphy75) Prep course in the Spring of 2005

Paddy *Adopting from RUSSIA * SW visit completed and course starts 3/12/04

Val 12 Prep course starts Feb 2005

Jude2 Prep course starts April 2005



Initial Stages

Nerys (lochness) Attending Foster Care Open evening on 27/01/05

HelenB Information Day with LA 17th December

Nic (Hopingforbaby) Currently considering the adoption option

Magenta Made initial contact with the agencies

Natasha Intro evening 11th Jan 2005



Oh where oh where can they be!

Carol (allineedisamircale): Currently doing home assessment (not sure if Carol is still posting? :-\ )

Jo (jolene): Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW (not sure if Jolene is still posting? :-\ )
 

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Hello all - thanks for our new home Karen. Last one soon filled up didn't it?!

Well no news til next week about form E but today we've received our form F and we are so chuffed!!!!!
^banana^

Really pleased with it. Sounds so good I hardly recognise myself!!! So now in final prep stages and only 3 weeks 6 days to panel (not that I'm counting or anything!)
Things seem to have happened so quickly, hoping we can make the final leap and make things real!

I'll keep posting.

Mandy- hope sw's visit with your parents went well. Sure it did!

Take care

;D ;D ;D
 

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hey everhopeful you must be so excited thats great!
Karen I did laugh when I read your post about the shiner!
I teach kids with special needs, and some years I am literally black and blue on my hands andarmsfrom bites,pinches and thumps! You learn to laugh about it pretty quick. It makes for some interesting dinner conversations too! ;D
kylie
xx
 

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Hi girls

We have completed day 2 of the prep course today - it has been really enlightening so far and we have enjoyed it

there has been a lot to take in and we knew it would not be easy or quick (adoption that is) but i think the course really brings it home to you - we are still enthusiastic though so don't panic anyone :)

we complete the course next Friday and Saturday and are already looking forward to it. 

All girls waiting to go on the course - we feel it is nice to be going through a pro active part of the process - i reckon all us girls are patient but it is great to be on the move for a while - hope this makes sense.

take care girls
LB
X
 

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Hi LB

Glad to hear all's going well with the prep course.  Have been thinking of you. 

Lots of love and luck

Jayne x
 

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Hi Everyone,
Our  first HS went ok.
Have one on Mon 24th and Fri Feb 4th.
SW said we are working to panel , sometime in June ???
It is a busy board , alot of you are going on prep courses.

Everhopeful: Pleased you are going to panel soon.and that you might have a match ;D
I'm counting the weeks. and it is not until June ;)
Bye for now
Donnaleex
 

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Hi all.. good to read everyones news!! Remember each day is a day nearer to being a family xx

Thought i would fill you in on our news.  As you all know xxxx was placed in November and he continues to thrive with us.  He really is a lovely boy who we grow to love more each day, in fact everyone does..  We have heard in the week that his newborn sister is for adoption and we have been approached to have her also.!!  Ye Haaaaaaaaa!! We were hoping this would happen but obviously were being a little reserved.  We have to therefore start the whole adoption process again because she is a second child and they were not placed together.  The lead is planning for her to be placed with us by April.  Its fantastic news.. So pleased we will be having siblings. A son and a daughter in 8 months its surreal, i never never thought our lives would change so much in less than a year, it could be you!! 
Still have a little reservation because we have to wait untill March to hopefully get the care order.  But all involved VVV positive.  Fingers crossed.  What will be will.  So about to start thinking about what we will need for a 5 month old baby, we are sure going to have our hands full!!  and we can't wait!!
Will keep you all updated on our progress.  LOve and best wishes to every one Becky xxx :) ;D ^reiki^ ^baby2^
 

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^rainbow^ Becky, that's great news! Thanks for sharing it with us.

You must be over the moon (even if a little reserved!) I feel all warm inside for you! It'll be lovely to have a 5mth old baby girl to complete your sibling family... so far!

Best of luck for March.... and hopefully you'll be able to enjoy some more shopping!!!

Keep us informed.   ^storkgirl^
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
LB - great news on the course, glad you are enjoying it so much.

Donna - great news on your home study.  June will be here before you know it and there is plenty to keep you busy between now and then.

Becky - great news about your little boys sibling.  If you get the approval make sure you have as much introductions involving your little boy as possible as it will help him to be more accepting of her when she moves in.  Its not like he was involved in the pregnancy to understand he had a sibling arriving (even though his understanding would be minimal given his age).  We're feeling it now with our two as the eldest had our undivided attention for 4 weeks before her sister moved in and now finds it hard to accept that she has to share her Mummy and Daddy.

Hope everyone else is well and really good to see the board in good spirits.

Love
Karen x
 

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Hi,

Nice to hear your news, Bex, though Ican understand your reserve.

LB:  glad youa re enjoying prep course.  I know what you mean about doing somethign pro active.  it does seem like a lot of time goes by waiting for the next thing to happen. S till after years of TTC, we are used to waiting!

We had our first meeting with LA on Tuesday:  it was fairly intensive grilling (much more than I was expecting with opening gambit of 'tell me about your childhood' and then quite soon 'was it love at frist sight' and so on).  However, we did 'pass' this first stage and they rang on Wednesday to say they would like to take us on.


Now we have the form, and we have to give them the names of 6 personal, non related adoptees who know us both well, from whom they will pick 2 or 3.  This is fine in a way, as I have a number of close friends who know us both, but they are of course 'my' friends primarily, and they are all women.  i have male friends but they are 'going out' friends and I would not think they would be qualified to give an informed opinion on our suitability to be adoptive parents.

My husband has 3 best friends who know me as well:  the trouble is that one of them is my brother, another has moved to America for a few years and the other lives in West Sussex (and we don't see them that much becauase of this,as we live in London).  So I am worried about giving them 6 female referees.  otherwise I could give them the husband of one of my referees, as we know him well as well, but he is still a 'proxy' friend.  Or a work mate of my husband's, who is very nice but perhaps nto terribly SW friendly (he is from Greece and middle aged and has some rather old -fashioned attitudes).

Do you think they will think it weird if we have only women, and is it OK to put people on there who are quite far away?  What did everybody else do?

Sorry for long e-mail.  jsut started process and already paranoid.

Love
Judith
xxx
 

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Hi Jude,

I'm from Dublin and we were going to use 2 close friends of ours from there. Our SW was very happy about that and said she'd work on a saturday if they came over for the weekend to visit. Another couple lived about 70 miles away and SW said that they'd drive up and visit them.....described as a day out! So i wouldn't worry about people being far away. You could always tlak to the SW about it and see who of your suggestions they thought was most suitable. We are using my brother and DH's sister as 2 or our 6. Our SW said she'd like to meet some family and they were the only people who knew us both for more than 2 years and who had seen us with kids alot......i think I'm babbling now....am stuffed up with a cold, but hope I'm making soem sense!

XXXRuth.
 

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Hi Guys

I'm feeling a bit confused and not sure what to do.

DH and I went to a christening on sunday and it has sent my head spinning again.  On saturday we got a letter from our LA to say thanks for coming to the open evening and that they will be intouch soon to send a social worker round to us. But having been to the Christening on Sunday, I now want to keep trying for my own.

Any ideas.  DH said that I had buried my real feelings by trying to get into the adoption process and this has bought it to a head again and now i really don't know what to do.

Good Luck Becky with your littlen, hope you get her soon.

Love Tasha
x
 

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Hi Natasha,

worst thing you can do is get stressed by it. Give youself a week or two and then think about why you had decided on adoption the first time around. Those sorts of family events can be a overwhelming.

There is nothing to stop you trying for one of your own a few years after you've adopted. Obviously you'd have to see how your adopted child settles before you could say when, but I haven't given up the idea of having one of my own one day even though I'm fully committed to adoption now. If it turns out that my adopteed (hopefully!) children would be too unsettled by having one of my own then I'll think again, but at the moment adoption is right for us.

At the end of the day it sounds like your DH will be supportive of whatever your decision will be, but you're the only one who can make it!

good luck
XXXRuth.
 

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Hi Ruth,

Thanks for replying, really don't know what to do.  I do want to adopt I would love to give a child a nice home, but at the end of the day i keep thinking about wanting my own and wonder if my i would take my feelings out on the adopted children.

A lot of it i think is that we haven't had any treatment at all.  We've been to london and they have told us what they would do and that is it, and I think that for a lot of ladies on here they have had treatment and decided that enough is enough, were i have just gone straight to it.
 

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Natasha, if you haven't had any treatment and can afford some then I would give treatment a go first, just to know that you have tried every angle to have your own child - we ttc our own second child for 3 years, including Clomid, IUI and IVF treatment during that time, before deciding that adoption was right for us now. 

Clomid is usually the first step if you aren't ovulating properly, then IUI if your tubes are ok and your partner's sperm isn't too bad and then IVF.  If you are under 40 you are entitled to a free go at IVF on the NHS otherwise it costs about £3K a go (inc drugs) so it is not a cheap option.  Once you have exhausted your funds or feel it is the end of the road then you can go down the adoption route with the knowledge that it is the right thing for you to do now. 

Of course this is only my opinion, after my own experience, so you must do what feels right for you and your dh.

All the best

Jenny
 

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Thanks Jenny,

I think I will look more into trying for our own, its just so expensive for our type of treatment, about 12k just for one go as DH has balanced translocations chromosones, and so we need PGD.

Hopefully i've got my figures wrong but we've been refered a large hospital in London, can't for the life of me remember what it is, something like the university i think.

Not sure, head is spinning as i think this post shows.  Maybe i'll call them and find out  a bit more about the cost of it all first.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.
Tasha
x
 

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Hi Natasha,

I think maybe it would be an idea to have a go/think about it more if you have not yet had any treatment.  it is hard deciding to stop treatment but I think must be harder still if you have never given it a go.  You may have that 'what if' feeling forever, especially if you have made the decision on the basis of cost.

I think you may have got your sums wrong though:  our clinic said that if we had it, it would add £2000 to the cost of our cycle, which is about £5000 at that clinic, for an ICSI cycle rather than IVF.    I had immune issues as well however which meant another £5000 on drugs.  But you are unlikely to have those. 

You don;t have to go with the clinic you have been recommended, which sounds like UCH:  University COllege Hospital.  My clinic was ARGC:  they have a very high success rate  and I would definitely recommend them.  Might be worth having a consultation at least (but that does cost about £150 I think).

Good luck with whatever you decide, but you need to feel that you will be comfortable long term.  Give yourself a bit of time.  I am assuming you are qutie young by the way?  So there is less pressure in terms of time?  nto sure why I have that impression.


Thanks for message re references Ruth:  I had not realised you could put a couple as one reference.  In that case it is fine as we knwo loads of couples.  it is jsut that if we had to put one or the other then we would have put the woman, and then we would have ended up with no men on our list.  or only 1 or2.  We aren't allowed family members,s eems odd, but maybe they will interview them anyway.
Love
Judith
xxx
 

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Hi Natasha - I had aneuploidy screening at Care Nottingham.  It cost us £6500 (inc drugs).

All the best

J
 

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At last - we finally have a date for the Preparation Course at the beginning of March.  It really feels like we are starting to get somewhere.  I was wondering of there is any sort of prep to do before the course?  We have read a few books and leaflets and information on various adoption sites on the Internet.

Thanks.

Tracey
 

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Hi Jenny and Jude,

Thanks for your replys and I will look into it because as you said Jenny I will always have the What Ifs!
Your are right it is the UCH that i was under, and I am quite young 24 next month ;D

What is the ARGC and where is it?

Tracy good luck on your prep course, hope it goes well for you

Tasha
x
 
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