Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption Part 9 2005
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Hi Girls
Time for a bit of a catch up. I'll get the list done as soon as I can but probably will be next week now as we are off camping for the weekend and I have loads of work to do before then.
Cindy - glad to hear you've been having a nice time with family and visits to the sea. how's your gorgeous little man?
Tracy - Don't worry about the one to one they are fine. We anticipated that they might ask us to describe ourselves so we actually got each other to write 5 words to describe the other. Our Sw thought this was great and we did both agree with the others assessment although they were written independently.
Caron - Hugs to you hun. I am sorry its had to come to this must be a real blow for you and dh. I hope you are able to move on quickly to whatever you decide.
Nat - you brought back childhood memories for me with your post. My grandparents used to live in Lakenheath and used to take us to Pleasurewood Hills when we were little.
Fiona - From what others have said on here I would say there is every likelihood that the LA where you move to in the UK will get you to do it all again. The only time I have known this not to happen is if people transfer to an LA that is in the same consortium group. Good luck
LB - have you been to matching panel yet? I thought it as this month. How are things going with the match?
Well news from me..... Went to court yesterday was listed for 10:15 with about a hundred other cases! We sat and waited and finally went in at 11:35. We had a long chat whilst we were waiting about all the issues and informally agreed a resolution before we went into court. The person who came was my old SW who has been promoted so she knows us and the girls. We were in there for 2 minutes and it is now agreed that the LA will have their papers in on 7th October. Then we should get a court date about 6 weeks after that.
Things couldn't be happier at home at the moment. Edlest has now been dry for a week (said to the SW would a child really do this if they weren't settled?) and we've only had 1 accident. I am so produ of her, although not sure how many times a child can go for a wee in a day!! Youngest is really developing her language skills and is now starting to copy the eldest, some signs of the terrible twos but not as bad as the eldest was. She's also got this new trick of walking into the room and then just diving onto the floor. She thinks its really funny. We've also investd in dressing up box which gives them hours of fun and me too. A couple of weeks ago they were dressed as fairies and were dancing to Bob the Builder in their new wellies!!!
Hope everyone else is doing well. Will catch up with evetything as soon as I can and post the list.
Karen x (Bubbles to all!!)
Time for a bit of a catch up. I'll get the list done as soon as I can but probably will be next week now as we are off camping for the weekend and I have loads of work to do before then.
Cindy - glad to hear you've been having a nice time with family and visits to the sea. how's your gorgeous little man?
Tracy - Don't worry about the one to one they are fine. We anticipated that they might ask us to describe ourselves so we actually got each other to write 5 words to describe the other. Our Sw thought this was great and we did both agree with the others assessment although they were written independently.
Caron - Hugs to you hun. I am sorry its had to come to this must be a real blow for you and dh. I hope you are able to move on quickly to whatever you decide.
Nat - you brought back childhood memories for me with your post. My grandparents used to live in Lakenheath and used to take us to Pleasurewood Hills when we were little.
Fiona - From what others have said on here I would say there is every likelihood that the LA where you move to in the UK will get you to do it all again. The only time I have known this not to happen is if people transfer to an LA that is in the same consortium group. Good luck
LB - have you been to matching panel yet? I thought it as this month. How are things going with the match?
Well news from me..... Went to court yesterday was listed for 10:15 with about a hundred other cases! We sat and waited and finally went in at 11:35. We had a long chat whilst we were waiting about all the issues and informally agreed a resolution before we went into court. The person who came was my old SW who has been promoted so she knows us and the girls. We were in there for 2 minutes and it is now agreed that the LA will have their papers in on 7th October. Then we should get a court date about 6 weeks after that.
Things couldn't be happier at home at the moment. Edlest has now been dry for a week (said to the SW would a child really do this if they weren't settled?) and we've only had 1 accident. I am so produ of her, although not sure how many times a child can go for a wee in a day!! Youngest is really developing her language skills and is now starting to copy the eldest, some signs of the terrible twos but not as bad as the eldest was. She's also got this new trick of walking into the room and then just diving onto the floor. She thinks its really funny. We've also investd in dressing up box which gives them hours of fun and me too. A couple of weeks ago they were dressed as fairies and were dancing to Bob the Builder in their new wellies!!!
Hope everyone else is doing well. Will catch up with evetything as soon as I can and post the list.
Karen x (Bubbles to all!!)
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Well...today is the day...
6months after our initial meeting with the agency we have our first prep course meeting tonight. I am soooo excited I could burst. Those six months have quite literally flown past and I am now wondering whatever happened to my intention to have read my way through the suggested reading list by now!
I feel like I am actually 'doing' something about becoming a parent rather than just loooking towards it or hoping for it. Unlike many of you, I have not have treatments for my infertility - long story but essentially there is little hope of anything but donor egg surrogacy working for us. So today feels like the start of a special 'treatment' journey for me. mt best mate has her gynae/obs appointment for fertility treatment today too - so we are journeying together...different jouneys but the same destination.
Just wanted to say 'thank' you for all your support over the last six months. I look forward to journeying with you for the next year or two ..or however long this journey will take for us.
Anyway...wish me well - not for tonight- but for a good day at work so that I get away from here on time and am not soo excited today that I don't meet my deadlines
!
Will let you all know how it went tomorrow.
Magenta xx
6months after our initial meeting with the agency we have our first prep course meeting tonight. I am soooo excited I could burst. Those six months have quite literally flown past and I am now wondering whatever happened to my intention to have read my way through the suggested reading list by now!
I feel like I am actually 'doing' something about becoming a parent rather than just loooking towards it or hoping for it. Unlike many of you, I have not have treatments for my infertility - long story but essentially there is little hope of anything but donor egg surrogacy working for us. So today feels like the start of a special 'treatment' journey for me. mt best mate has her gynae/obs appointment for fertility treatment today too - so we are journeying together...different jouneys but the same destination.
Just wanted to say 'thank' you for all your support over the last six months. I look forward to journeying with you for the next year or two ..or however long this journey will take for us.
Anyway...wish me well - not for tonight- but for a good day at work so that I get away from here on time and am not soo excited today that I don't meet my deadlines
!Will let you all know how it went tomorrow.
Magenta xx
Karen - Camping this weekend.....I am really envious!! 
.....I have no dog sitter so am stuck at home. Sad really as we bought a new tent 2 weeks ago and although we have used it once...I made dh put it up in the garden when we first bought it, only to find that it was alot bigger than I remembered and it was too big!.
Hope you have a fab time.....
Great news on the court hearing too, they sure know how to make the butterflies take over dont they. Its also lovely to hear that the eldest is doing so well and that you are are on
.
Magenta - wishing all the very best for tonight, im sure you will love it!
Hi to everyone else.
Natxx
.....I have no dog sitter so am stuck at home. Sad really as we bought a new tent 2 weeks ago and although we have used it once...I made dh put it up in the garden when we first bought it, only to find that it was alot bigger than I remembered and it was too big!.Hope you have a fab time.....
Great news on the court hearing too, they sure know how to make the butterflies take over dont they. Its also lovely to hear that the eldest is doing so well and that you are are on
.Magenta - wishing all the very best for tonight, im sure you will love it!
Hi to everyone else.
Natxx
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2,333 Posts
Hi everyone,
Caron - So sorry to read your news. Thinking of you both x
Karen - Your little girls and their dressing up made me smile. Have a nice time camping.
Cindy - Nice to hear from you.
Magenta - Really hope you have a good time tonight, can't wait to hear about it!
Hi to everyone else.
Laine x
Caron - So sorry to read your news. Thinking of you both x
Karen - Your little girls and their dressing up made me smile. Have a nice time camping.
Cindy - Nice to hear from you.
Magenta - Really hope you have a good time tonight, can't wait to hear about it!
Hi to everyone else.
Laine x
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4,304 Posts
Hello
Not sure whether to dip my toe in the water or not...........
After a weekend of discussions and chats with Adam I have made my first phone call today to our local authority
Spoke to a lovely, lovely social worker who is sending me through an information pack after which we have to write in to formally apply to be adoptive parents (does that sound right?) then it will go from there. Although we have had recently had tx, which she knows all about. She said they do treat each couple individually and she felt we have come along way in coming to terms all be it slowley, with our situation.
So we will see.................
Love Lou xxxxx
Karen love the dressing up story
Not sure whether to dip my toe in the water or not...........
After a weekend of discussions and chats with Adam I have made my first phone call today to our local authority
Spoke to a lovely, lovely social worker who is sending me through an information pack after which we have to write in to formally apply to be adoptive parents (does that sound right?) then it will go from there. Although we have had recently had tx, which she knows all about. She said they do treat each couple individually and she felt we have come along way in coming to terms all be it slowley, with our situation.
So we will see.................
Love Lou xxxxx
Karen love the dressing up story
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hi Lou, welcome to the adoption thread hun.
we had our second failed ivf in july last year and applied to adopt late october. we have now completed our home study and are waiting for the form F to be completed, our LA said they liked you to have not had tx for a year before they accept you but they looked at our case and decided we were ready
good luck
pam xx
we had our second failed ivf in july last year and applied to adopt late october. we have now completed our home study and are waiting for the form F to be completed, our LA said they liked you to have not had tx for a year before they accept you but they looked at our case and decided we were ready
good luck
pam xx
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Thanks Pam, so you sound similar to us Congratulations on how far you have come, you must be getting excited now
Told the social worker about my medical history with the spell of depression I had, main thing for the next 6 months is to sssslllooowwwlllleeeeyyyyyy come of the anti depressants I am still taking, although I am on a very very low dose now.
Yikes
Love Lou xxxx
Congratulations on how far you have come, you must be getting excited now Told the social worker about my medical history with the spell of depression I had, main thing for the next 6 months is to sssslllooowwwlllleeeeyyyyyy come of the anti depressants I am still taking, although I am on a very very low dose now.
Yikes
Love Lou xxxx
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Hi Lou
we are at the same stage, we have had our tx and have a meeting in september to go to and then the SW said we could be on our prep course as early as OCt/Nov this year! Would be great to keep in touch and support each other.
Karen - your little girls sound adorable and each time i read the stories on here i know more and more that adoption is the right thing for us.
Magenta - good luck for tonight!
we are at the same stage, we have had our tx and have a meeting in september to go to and then the SW said we could be on our prep course as early as OCt/Nov this year! Would be great to keep in touch and support each other.
Karen - your little girls sound adorable and each time i read the stories on here i know more and more that adoption is the right thing for us.
Magenta - good luck for tonight!
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Alex and Karen,
Thank you so much.
Alex would be great to keep in touch with you.
For the first time in a long, long time I have a slight spring in my step for a change. Have spent lunch at my Mums, with my sister and the boys being monsters, but very sweet ones at that
We all culred up on the sofa and watched Swallows and Amazons including the dog!
Off to Sainsburys to cook roast lamb and nice bottle of red tonight. Adam has been working his nuts off recently and is totally exhausted, little reward for him I think
Love to everyone
Lou xxx
Thank you so much.
Alex would be great to keep in touch with you.
For the first time in a long, long time I have a slight spring in my step for a change. Have spent lunch at my Mums, with my sister and the boys being monsters, but very sweet ones at that
We all culred up on the sofa and watched Swallows and Amazons including the dog!Off to Sainsburys to cook roast lamb and nice bottle of red tonight. Adam has been working his nuts off recently and is totally exhausted, little reward for him I think
Love to everyone
Lou xxx
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Welcome Lou!
Well...not feeling so happy now...thought I'd post as you might be able to share and tell me how to deal with it.
Best mate is back from her gynae appointment. things are looking good and she is going to be on provera. Consultant seemed very confident that it would work for her as the only problem appears to be lack of ovulation. this is great news. So why do i feel like crying?
guess I always knew the time would come when she or one of my other friends would get pregnant and it is just a little reminder that I won't be joining them. feeling a little sad about that as I just wish i could share in what looks like an amazing journey. it seems as though we have been through so much together over the years - exams, nights out, degrees, first cars, first jobs, first homes, multiple carp blokes, first decent bloke, marriage and now it all ends cos they get to be pregnant and i I don't...ever. It isn't like her wedding where she was planning and I wasn't engaged or when she got your car and I still hadn't passed my test....i knew I would catch up one day. this is the one thing I can't do and it is really sinking in.
Sorry to get pathetic but the fact that I am having a guffy day at work isn't helping my mood and all I can think of is that I want to be happy for her (and a big part of me is) but I just can't today. today i need to be sad that it won't be me...i want to have a cry and feel sorry for myself cos my best mate is getting treatment that I can't get. how pathetic is that...I can't even be wholeheartedly happy for her...I am such an awful mate.
right now it bothers me that I don't get to be a 'mum to be' ...like going straight from girlfriend to wife without the joy and happiness of being a bride..
look...sorry to offload - just came as such a huge shock after being so happy this morning. I mean..its not like she's pregant but it is just the fact that today her journey starts and mine stops as I go down another road.
thanks for 'listening' I actually feel better just having written it down.
magenta x
Well...not feeling so happy now...thought I'd post as you might be able to share and tell me how to deal with it.
Best mate is back from her gynae appointment. things are looking good and she is going to be on provera. Consultant seemed very confident that it would work for her as the only problem appears to be lack of ovulation. this is great news. So why do i feel like crying?
guess I always knew the time would come when she or one of my other friends would get pregnant and it is just a little reminder that I won't be joining them. feeling a little sad about that as I just wish i could share in what looks like an amazing journey. it seems as though we have been through so much together over the years - exams, nights out, degrees, first cars, first jobs, first homes, multiple carp blokes, first decent bloke, marriage and now it all ends cos they get to be pregnant and i I don't...ever. It isn't like her wedding where she was planning and I wasn't engaged or when she got your car and I still hadn't passed my test....i knew I would catch up one day. this is the one thing I can't do and it is really sinking in.
Sorry to get pathetic but the fact that I am having a guffy day at work isn't helping my mood and all I can think of is that I want to be happy for her (and a big part of me is) but I just can't today. today i need to be sad that it won't be me...i want to have a cry and feel sorry for myself cos my best mate is getting treatment that I can't get. how pathetic is that...I can't even be wholeheartedly happy for her...I am such an awful mate.
right now it bothers me that I don't get to be a 'mum to be' ...like going straight from girlfriend to wife without the joy and happiness of being a bride..
look...sorry to offload - just came as such a huge shock after being so happy this morning. I mean..its not like she's pregant but it is just the fact that today her journey starts and mine stops as I go down another road.
thanks for 'listening' I actually feel better just having written it down.
magenta x
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magenta 
i'm sure what you are feeling is very normal hun (otherwise i'm not normal) i too get sad that i will never be pg and it is awfull sometimes when everyone around you is getting pg, you are not a bad person you haven't said you don't want your friend to have a baby just that you want to be there experiencing pregnancy along side her. it's ok to be sad, let it all out and have a good cry over the years i'm sure there will be many times we will fel sad that we couldn't experience pregnancy but it wont mean we love our adopted babies any less or would change the way things have worked out.
i hope this makes some sort of sense
pam xx
i'm sure what you are feeling is very normal hun (otherwise i'm not normal) i too get sad that i will never be pg and it is awfull sometimes when everyone around you is getting pg, you are not a bad person you haven't said you don't want your friend to have a baby just that you want to be there experiencing pregnancy along side her. it's ok to be sad, let it all out and have a good cry over the years i'm sure there will be many times we will fel sad that we couldn't experience pregnancy but it wont mean we love our adopted babies any less or would change the way things have worked out.i hope this makes some sort of sense
pam xx
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111 Posts
Hi girls
Iam also a newbie!
I have been in contact with serveral LA's and a couple of voluntary agencies. I have been recommended the Catholic Childrens Society which cover my area. Lou not sure if you would be interested in them they cover the Brighton area, I think you are from that area. I have just joined adoption uk which have provdided me with lots of usefull information. They provide you with a list of contacts in your area. They lady I contacted recommended the catholic society (you don't have to be catholic) she adopted 5 1/2 month old twins four yours ago.
We are trying to decide which agency/authority to go with! LA's seem so short staffed.....
Karen great news re your eldest, enjoy the camping.
Lou, would be great to share information on our new journey. Good luck.
Alex, Oct/Nov for prep course sounds great. Everyone I have spoken to has indicated this is going to be a fairly long journey, think it is also going to be quite bumpy!
Laine, any news on the medical? Iam sure all will be fine.
Nats, sounds like you going to have a busy weekend lookiing after twins, how old are they?
Hi, to everyone else look forward to getting to know you.
Love
Hayley xx
Iam also a newbie!
I have been in contact with serveral LA's and a couple of voluntary agencies. I have been recommended the Catholic Childrens Society which cover my area. Lou not sure if you would be interested in them they cover the Brighton area, I think you are from that area. I have just joined adoption uk which have provdided me with lots of usefull information. They provide you with a list of contacts in your area. They lady I contacted recommended the catholic society (you don't have to be catholic) she adopted 5 1/2 month old twins four yours ago.
We are trying to decide which agency/authority to go with! LA's seem so short staffed.....
Karen great news re your eldest, enjoy the camping.
Lou, would be great to share information on our new journey. Good luck.
Alex, Oct/Nov for prep course sounds great. Everyone I have spoken to has indicated this is going to be a fairly long journey, think it is also going to be quite bumpy!
Laine, any news on the medical? Iam sure all will be fine.
Nats, sounds like you going to have a busy weekend lookiing after twins, how old are they?
Hi, to everyone else look forward to getting to know you.
Love
Hayley xx
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111 Posts
Sorry forgot to send Magenta a big hig
Your feels are perfectly normal.
There isn't a day that goes by without me feeling sad that I will never see what our baby would look like.
Boo Hoo I have only got 1 bubble!!
Love
Hayley xx
Your feels are perfectly normal.
There isn't a day that goes by without me feeling sad that I will never see what our baby would look like.
Boo Hoo I have only got 1 bubble!!
Love
Hayley xx
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4,304 Posts
Magenta hugs coming yoru way too. What you are feeling is totally understandable. I think we would all be lying if we said we dont/wont have those feeling. xxxx
Hayley, funnily enough I was only reading about the Catholic Society this morning in a load of stuff BAFF had sent us. May give them a call. How does this all work then? Once you are approved adoptive parents can you contact other agencies or is it only the agency you are signed up to?? I have a lot to learn! Yes are a near the Brighton area, I was very much put off Brighton and Hove authority by someone I know. Nightmare story. We have contact West Sussex Authority which is the county we live in anyway.
Love to eveyone again
Love Lou xxxx
Hayley, funnily enough I was only reading about the Catholic Society this morning in a load of stuff BAFF had sent us. May give them a call. How does this all work then? Once you are approved adoptive parents can you contact other agencies or is it only the agency you are signed up to?? I have a lot to learn! Yes are a near the Brighton area, I was very much put off Brighton and Hove authority by someone I know. Nightmare story. We have contact West Sussex Authority which is the county we live in anyway.
Love to eveyone again
Love Lou xxxx
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111 Posts
Hi Lou
The Catholic society work with Local Authorities throughout the Uk, Be my parent and Adoption uk. Yes once you are approved you can apply for children, although iam sure they work very hard to match you. As they are a voluntary organisation they charge lA's to place children with there approved adopters. It is a tough decision to make. I feel we will be approved much quicker using an agency but they don't have children to place....
I found my LA very unhelpfull. Most LA's will not place children in there own area so are quite often looking to approve people who live outside there area, it has to be within a 50 mile radius tho.
The lady that recommended the catholic society said they were extremely efficient. I have some telephone numbers for east and west sussex which have been provided by adoption uk. They may have some knowledge of la's/ agencys in your area. I can email them to you if you would like.
Love
Hayley xx
The Catholic society work with Local Authorities throughout the Uk, Be my parent and Adoption uk. Yes once you are approved you can apply for children, although iam sure they work very hard to match you. As they are a voluntary organisation they charge lA's to place children with there approved adopters. It is a tough decision to make. I feel we will be approved much quicker using an agency but they don't have children to place....
I found my LA very unhelpfull. Most LA's will not place children in there own area so are quite often looking to approve people who live outside there area, it has to be within a 50 mile radius tho.
The lady that recommended the catholic society said they were extremely efficient. I have some telephone numbers for east and west sussex which have been provided by adoption uk. They may have some knowledge of la's/ agencys in your area. I can email them to you if you would like.
Love
Hayley xx
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