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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ann

Great news that they didn't charge you. Good luck for the course in April, you will find it really interesting and there is all sorts that it makes you think about that had probably never crossed your mind before.

We will be very well trained parents!!!!

I think this is everyone who is posting and where they are, if there is anyone else or I have got anything wrong, let me know:

Karen :
Sw visit 23rd March
Panel 22nd April

Cindy:
Course starts 23rd March

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Course starts April

Ang:
Course starts May

Good luck girls

Love
Karen x :eek:)
 

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Hi Karen

I thought that your post with the list was a fantastic one to start your next thread with ... hope you don't mind.

Good luck to all you mummies to be.

Love
Dee
xxx
;D ;D
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Cindy

Just a quick post to wish you all the best for the start of your course on Tuesday. Are you having to come to Stafford for it?

Let us know how you get on.

Love
Karen x
 

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hi karen no probs put me in the list for may i start love ang
 

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Karen & Cindy ~ lots of luck for tomorrow,
i hope it all goes really well for you both ^daisy^

Much love, Lizzy xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Cindy

How did the course go today???

My SW has visited today and we have gone through all the paperwork that needs to go to panel. She is coming next Thursday to drop off the draft of the documents and then we have 28 days to review it. We can waiver that, which we are doing given that the paperwork needs to be in by 8th April!! And then she is coming back to following day to collect it and tell us what to expect at the panel meeting.

I cannot believe that in less than 1 months time we will be approved adopters and could even be looking at meeting OUR children.

Carol - how is your home assessment going?

Ann and Ang - not long now for the two of you, it will be here before you know it.

Good luck girls.
love
Karen x
 

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Hi Karen and of course all you other lovely ladies ;D

Karen - I am getting soooo excited for you ^jumpin^ ^jumpin^ ^jumpin^
love reading about your story, lots of love Bev H xxxx

Good luck to you all here ;)
 

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Hi gIRLS

So sorry that I have missed so much of your news but hoping to catch up as soon as I can.

Just wanted to say Good luck to you all...... you are all on your way now and it is so exciting. Cant wait to read your stories along the successful road to achieving your dreams.

Wishing you loads of love and luck to each of you!

Love Dawn
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Hi Trudy

The cooling off time varies from social services departments and sometimes depends on the type of treatment that you have had.

We didn't actually have an cycles of treatment as they made our diagnosis before we got that far, so we didn't have to wait. However if we had had ICSI then we would have had to wait 12 months.

It would be worth contacting your local social services department to find out what they do.

Good luck for your tx in April.

Love
Karen x
 

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Hi Trudy
When we looked at adoption we were told to have a 6 month "cooling off period" - that was in Hampshire.
Hope you don't have to wait too long and GOOD LUCK.
Best wishes, Bev H xxx
 

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Hello Ladies

Haven't been on-line as I only have a daytime internet package and I was working the days I wasn't at the course at Stafford.

What can I say, they do these courses to make sure you know what you're letting yourselves in for. Our Course Leader said at the end "If you haven't got any questions about what you're doing at the end of this course then we haven't done our job properly." I can't speak for anyone else but Lee and I thought they did their job very well.

Like a lot of people we may have been a bit naive when we started this process. Get a couple of kiddies, sure they'll have a few problems but a few months with us wonderful people will soon put that right. When you are introduced to people who are still experiencing attachment problems more than 4 years after adopting their children you realise that things might not be that simple.

Overall the course was very good, very informative and very thought provoking. We've had to seriously think about whether we want to proceed further. All the life experiences we've had that help us in our adoption process, bereavement, illness, family break-up also make us wary of the stress that might come with a difficult adoption. We're both over 40 now and have had to consider if we have enough energy to cope with the emotional baggage that these children might bring with them. Part of you thinks it might make life easier not to bother and just have lots of material things and nice holidays.

However we've decided to carry on, we think the stress of not having a family is a lot greater than the possible stress of having one. Our social workers on the course said that they're job was all about Risk Management. They try to minimise the risk of problems with the adoption. We will tell them what we can handle and rely on them to help. We've now met 4 social workers from the Staffordshire area and they all seem rather capable/nice so that's encouraging. We'll send off our form this week saying we want to proceed and then we will be assigned our Home Social Worker.

Carol, I hope Sarah is OK, I bet the waiting is getting harder in this situation.

Karen, you must be going over your Form F now. We were told that sometimes you can get to attend the panel, will that be the case for you?

Ann and Ang, although the course is intense it is also incredible interesting and informative. Not long until you find out yourself.

I'm sorting our my clothes this week as we're off to Majorca on Monday for two weeks holiday. I must admit, our minds have been in overdrive this past week thinking about the adoption and I think we could both do with a chance to switch off.

If I don't get a chance to get on-line again beforehand I hope everybody has a great Easter.

love
Cindy





 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Hi Cindy

Glad you found the course interesting did you do the whole lot in a week? We did ours a day a week for four weeks. Like you say there is a lot to digest and a lot of thought provoking issues, and it doesn't stop there. Wait 'til you start the form F!!

If you are anything like us, you will still be thinking whether or not you have done the right thing.

We have decided to be in attendance at panel. I think we are scheduled on first thing. SW is bringing our papers to be signed off on Thursday and then she is coming back on Friday to collect them as we are going to waiver our right to the 28 days to look at them. I can't believe that in just over 3 weeks we will hopefully be approved adopters.

Saw an advert tonight for Staffs Adoption and Fostering on ITV Central, must be in need of more families.

Hope you hear from the SW soon and have a lovely holiday, enjoy it while you can!!

Love
Karen x
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Girls

I have to share this with you, obviously things are really playing on my mind, although this is quite funny too.

I had a really bizare dream this weekend. I dreamt that we had been matched with 2 boys, 1 aged about 18months and the other approaching 4. We got on really well with the younger boy and felt we could proceed with adopting him, however the older one really freaked me out and as we are going for a sibling group we have to take both.

We couldn't bring ourselves to tell the SW that we did not want to proceed but I was really freaked out by this older boy and was scared. Scared about saying no to the SW but scared about having this boy live with us.

And this is the weird bit....... the older boy had two heads!!! His head that was in the right place was alien like, his face was really white with big black ant like eyes and antenae, and his 'normal' face and head (although this looked a bit like a cabbage patch doll!) was on his arm between his wrist and his elbow.

One of our big fears is what if we don't get on with the children we get matched to and how do we say it isn't right is something that has been playing on both of our minds for real, so obviously I must have been thinking about it sub conciously.

If anyone out there analyses dreams, I would love to know what this means, just please don't send the men in white coats around!!!

Love
Karen x
 

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Karen

You are just going through the process of being a mummy.
When your pregnant most women have weird dreams about the babies so your going through the same process.

Do you not get a chance to get to know the children first?

I really hope this works out for you, and i am sure you wont get a 4 year old with 2 heads. :)

Love Kim x x x
 

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Hello again, I have managed to get on here before the holiday. The company I've been doing the accounts for have just phoned up, they've all come down with bugs and felt it was only fair to warn me off rather than risking me catching something for my holiday. So here I am with an unexpected free day.

Have to say Karen I agree with Kim, although you are obviously crazy which is why you're going through the adoption process, I don't think they'll take you away just yet. Your dream is perfectly normal, merely an expression of last minute nerves. Let's face it you're about to be approved before the end of the month, it's enough to make anyone anxious. I keep having imaginary conversations with an imaginary social worker regarding my life history. I can't wait to get a real one so I can get it over with, everynight my mind is turning over with hundreds of thoughts. Although I'm beginning to realise I may never sleep normally again. I didn't want to get up for work this morning and my husband teased me by pretending to be a demanding toddler.

"Mummy I want breakfast!!!"

As a renowned non-morning person it is part of the parenting process I am least looking forward to. I have had past experience with my neices/nephew and preparing breakfast at 7 in the morning whilst trying to clean a soiled mattress can't really be described as enjoyable.

On another note, they mentioned the TV advertising during the course. It seems that they are short of adopters, particularly non-white adopters, or those who are willing to adopt older children.

Ann, I hope the course goes well for you.

Hope everyone has a great easter, I'm off to find the mozzie repellent.

love
Cindy
 

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^surprise^ ^surprise^ ^surprise^hi girls have phoned the adoption and it will kick of in may the 2 day course and was told to be waiting no longer than 12 months to be placed with a child we have asked for - 0-2 age... can not wait my happy face is back again^banana^ ^banana^ ^banana^ Course starts May
just got a little flu at the moment but still smiling ^spin^ ^spin^ ^spin^
p.s. hi karen how is it all going hope you all girls are ok and doing well. xoxoxoxox
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Hi Everyone

Well its official now everything has been signed and sent off to the panel and then TWO weeks tomorrow :eek: :eek: we will be in front of panel waiting to be formally approved. We have not been told any time scale of how long it will take to be placed with children, but we have decided that we will give it 18 months maximum from being approved.

We decided that we need to have a cut off at some point otherwise IF and adoption will have dominated the vast majority of our time together and we need to move on.

Karen :
Panel 22nd April

Cindy:
Finished course waiting to be assigned an SW

Carol:
Currently doing home assessment

Ann:
Course starts April

Ang:
Course starts May


Ann - when in April does your course start?

Cindy - hope you are having a good break and that you come back to news of being assigned an SW.

Carol - how is the home study going. June is getting closer by the day

Ang - great news that things are moving forward for you.

Take care everyone

Love
Karen x
 

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Hi Karen

Looking good...... ^sunny^ .... keeping everything crossed for you and everybody here on this thread.

Love Bev xxx :-*
 

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Great news Karen. lets hope it will be very soon after.

Love Kim x x x
 

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hi ^wave^ ^wave^ ^wave^ trudy.
our last try was july on ivf.
we had our 1st sw visit in jan 04. we will start our 2 day course in may. how are you girls.. good luck karen ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^
 
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