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A new home girls

I have a feeling that this is going to be a good thread!  ;)

Good luck to you all

Love
Dee
xxx
;D ;D ;D
 

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List courtesy of Karen ;)

Karen: Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match. Waiting to be told for definite that we can be Mummy and Daddy to two little girls.

Cindy: Currently doing home assessment. Awaiting a panel date.

Carol: Currently doing home assessment (not sure if Carol is still posting? :-\)

Ann: Currently doing home assessment. Awaiting a panel date.

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment

Ang: Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Everhopeful: Currently doing home assessment

Jo: Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW (not sure if Jolene is still posting? :-\)

Mandy (MSW): Currently doing home assessment

Nat: Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie: Awaiting allocation of SW, prep course November?

Angel: Open evening July

Homer & Marge: Prep course September.

Nicky: Induction evening September
 

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Can I join your thread? DH and I have our first open evening in 2 weeks.
 

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Hi Morgana,
              Welcome. I have only found the BB a few weeks ago but it is great :) always someone around.

I look forward to sharing you adoption journey with you.

Mandyxx
 

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Hi Morgana, welcome to the thread, I've posted to you on the thread you started but we generally post here.  There's quite a few of us now which is great. 

Karen, great to hear your news, let's hope they get you to the matching panel this month.  It sounds like the SW's are keen to get you and the girls together for Xmas.  You'll be able to start a whole new thread Adoptive Mummies!!!

Glad to hear everybody else is well, we've just come back from a few days at the seaside.  It was quite nice, playing tennis, going out for meals but we'll both be happy to swap it for building sandcastles on the beach with our new kiddies.  We should be having our last home assessment on Monday before our SW starts writing up our report.  We're going to spend the weekend re-arranging our bedroom furniture to make more space for our prospective family.  We're also going to do our photo book.

Will check in next week to see how everyone is doing.

Take care
love
Cindy

 

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Hi ladies – I hope you are well?  I wondered whether you could help with this please?

After our initial assessment, home visits, police/medical checks we are now being told that Social Services will only proceed with our application if we agree to take a 4 plus year old and an older sibling?  Are any of you facing a similar dilemma?  (I am 33 and my DH is 41)

I look forward to hearing from you,
Love Nicky xxxxxxxx
 

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Hi Girls

Can I join you all?

My hubby and I start our prep classes this evening so feeling excited and scared.

Is anyone else with Bristol SS? 

I wish us all every success with the journey to our littles.

love

Shannis x








 

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Welcome Shannis,
loads of luck with the classes tonight  :)

xxxxxxxxxxx
 

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Dee - thanks for getting us started. Here's an updated list with a few changes and new additions.

Karen: Panel 22nd April (approved). Now awaiting a suitable match. Waiting to be told for definite that we can be Mummy and Daddy to two little girls ^jumpin^.

Cindy: Currently doing home assessment. Awaiting a panel date.

Carol: Currently doing home assessment (not sure if Carol is still posting? :-\ )

Ann: Currently doing home assessment. Panel 4th November 2004.

Ruth: Currently doing home assessment

Ang: Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

Everhopeful: Currently doing home assessment

Jo: Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW (not sure if Jolene is still posting? :-\ )

Mandy (MSW): Currently doing home assessment

Nat: Awaiting allocation of SW

Kylie: Awaiting allocation of SW, prep course November?

Angel: Open evening July

Homer & Marge: Prep course September.

Nicola: Induction evening September

Nicky: Currently doing assessment

Shannis: Prep course starts 2/9/04


Welcome Shannis - you will find the prep course really helpful. there are lots of thought provoking issues that you discuss and it does highlight to you what worse case scenario could be.

Nicky - I have heard of this happening to others before but I have not experienced this. What I will say to you is that in looking at Be My Parent (BMP) that alot of children featured in there were just slightly out of the age bracket that me and my dh are approved for (2 under 4's). Every time I looked at BMP I would think what if we had gone for children just that little bit older there would be so many who would match our criteria.

Don't feel forced to continue if that is not what you want you and your dh have to decide what age children would fit in your family and the environment that they would be brought up in. Have you tried contacting another local area to see if they would allow you to go for younger children? Good luck

Cindy - glad you are enjoying your last months of freedom :) Have you been given a date for panel yet? Seen anymore in BMP? have fun re=organising the rooms. I have already got my list planned of what I need to buy and where from!!

MSW & Everhopeful - hope your home visits are going well.

Anne - bet you can't wait for November - it will be here before you know it.

Morgana and Nicola - welcome to the crew. As you can see from the list there are so many of us at different stages. Please keep us up to date with how things are progressing for you.

To anyone else I've not personally mentioned. I hope everything is ok with you and hope that things are moving along micely in your quest to be forever mummies.

Love
Karen x
 

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Thanks for your reply Karen - it sort of feels like we are closing the door on ever having a family if we don't proceed (and from the childs point of view too), but our plan was obviously a baby. 

Another thing that disturbed us was being told that most children are taken into care and not volunteered for adoption/fostering now.  Of course a lot of these children have suffered an abuse of some sort and to be honest, I think you are special people to take on these cases, in this age group.

I remember my niece at 4 - she knew a lot more than we gave her credit for and she has a good life.

Thanks again - we won't be able to approach another area/authority as we proceeded with Worcs CC.

Good luck to all you couples proceeding currently and I hope your dreams will soon come true!

Love Nicky xxxxx

 

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Nicky

Sorry to hear things aren't going as planned. Please do not give up hope. There must be a way around it. They can't force you to take a certain age group or nothing. It's ridiculous - I thought they were crying out for parents for all age ranges. Why they are pushing this route with you, I don't understand but I'd definately push for more answers. Don't let this defeat you.

We are not "special" people - we are just "normal" people who, like yourselves, long to have a family. Please do not think of yourself as less special or less able to adopt than anyone else because you're not sure about certain cases or ages etc. Its completely your decision of what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't be confident in accepting a child of more than 4 years - but that it my personal choice. I wouldn't be bullied into thinking you have to accept what you're not comfortable with. Fight your corner and make your dream come true.

Thinking of you, and please keep in touch. ^goodluck^

e x


 

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Hello gang ^banana^

2nd home visit today on my own this time. SW arrived a 9.30am and did not leave till 12.05  :eek:

By the time she had gone i felt a bit. ^scared^

Had to go through whole childhood and family tree etc, which is a bit complex as parents divorced and both re married  ;D

Anyway we got their in the end. Was a bit concerned at first as she was saying are we sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so soon after the IVF. I told her that making us wait any longer would be a lot more stressful than going through the home assesment.

I think she was happy with my answer.She than went onto say we are still on track to be aproved by December and could be placed with children very quickley and were we ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!the answer to that was a BIG FAT YES ^cloud9^

It's poor Dh's turn for an ear bashing next week but chin up because it will all be worth it when we are a , family yipeeeeeeeeeeee.

Mandyx
 

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Hi Mandy

I'm glad to hear that your home assessments are progressing and that your social worker has a positive attitude to your previous infertility experiences.  How long ago did you cease IVF? 

We had a failed icsi in April and subsequently decided after much though, and after requesing adoption info from our LA, that we would not continual with future full treatments.  We did, however, at that time have three embies in the freezer from our ICSI cycle and so felt committed to giving them a chance. 

Its a rather odd thing to say, but we knew even before embarking upon our last FET that adoption would be the long term route for us.  Some things in life just don't seem to be compatible with our whole beings, IVF being one such thing for me and my hubby. 

Making a decision about adoption has finally released us from the pain, stress and uncertainty of a rolercoaster in which we had little or no faith.  The more I read and learn about adoption the more positive and hopeful I become. The emotion of feeling truely hopeful once more was a strange one to face after so many years of having to live with the knowledge that our dream of parenthood would not be fulfiled.

Don't get me wrong, I know the adoption path will be a long one, but pray that it will be one that helps both myself and my husband find ourselves again after so many years of unknowns and will also enable us to bestow upon some children all of the care, commitment and love that we have always drempt of offering.  No longer will we be tied to genetic preoccupation and we can finally concentrate upon the dreams of what parenthood would hold for both us and our future children.  We have not yet made any final decisions regarding ages and child numbers yet and will refrain from doing so until we complete our introduction seminar on the 27th.

I will keep my fingers crossed for your husband's individual meeting next week.  Take Care and feel proud of yourselves, December really isn't that long away !!! HORAHH FOR YOU BOTH THAT EVERY DAY, YOU ARE ONE STEP CLOSER TO ACHIEVING YOUR DREAMS.


Hello Also to all of the other ladies posting on this forum, I hope that this greeting finds you all well and that you are enjoying the beautiful weekend that we have all been blessed with.  Take Care XXXX N


I look forward to getting to know you all more in the future

Love Nicola X
 

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Hi Nicky :)

Thanks so much for your message. I have PM'd you re ending IVF.

Your feelings are so true, and just how we feel :) we now feel sooooooooo +ive about our adoption journey and the real hope of becoming a family ;D

As you say, there will be some stressful moments but nothing compared with the agony of IF. We went through 6 ICsi's with one MC, and our life was a living hell during that time. Since jumping off the IF rollercoster i feel like a huge weight has been lifted ;D

I look forward to sharing your journey with you, good luck with your info evening.

Chat soon Mandyxxx ^daisy^
 

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Hi Girls

I just wanted to thank everyone for the warm welcome :)

It is so encouraging to know that we can share this adoption journey together.

We had our 2nd prep course on Sat - we are finding them really enjoyable and its lovely to meet other people who are going through the same.  Although, we have been feeling really tired - it really takes it out of you.  Next course on Thursday.  No role plays yet although there are case studies and lots of group activities. Apparently, after the prep classes, we then have the home visits and then go back for one day of training? Do other Ss do this too?  This will take approx 6 months.....

take care

love

shannis x
 

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only meeeeee..

MSW, hello wow that is great news that the SW told you that you will hopefully me approved by Dec and matched quickly.

Nicola, your post touched us all x x x x

love

Shannis

ps, yes I am a huge Dennis'Sharon fan and a member of NHO

 

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OK, got a call the end of last week that we are now able to our home study.........it sounds terrible but we had our minds set on the fact nothing would happen before Xmas and now this!!....it suddenly feels all rushed but of course we are glad to be starting. Our first home visit is Thursday, so now I can join in and not feel so out of the loop!.

Looking forward to getting to know everyone a bit better!

Love natsxx
 

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Just got conformation that we are definitely on for next Tuesday's introduction meeting and then we can organise for a chat with the SW. Well they say the longest journey has to start with a single step...here we go :)
 

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hey

Morgana, I just read that you are adopted yourself and have a wonderful relationship with your birth parents and adoped parents thats great :)  The visits will be fine for you as you will know how it feels to be adopted.

Crazy, good news about the homestudy :)  you are on your way......

love 

shannis x
 

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Hiya Ladies, welcome to the group.  This list is just getting longer and longer!!!!

Nicky, I know exactly what you mean about getting of the tx rollercoaster.  At least with an adoption things tend to be a bit more definite none of this maybe it will work next time.  I can't believe that Worcester are trying to bully you into taking older children.   Although I'm aware that a lot of Social Services have this tendency not to want more than 40 years between the ages of the child and the prospective parent only you can know what age children you want.  Obviously it is harder getting younger children as more often than not we all want them but it doesn't mean you should be told that you can't apply.  Are you sure that was what they were saying or were there just trying to point out that there are a lot of prospective adopters for younger children and not many children of that age to go round?

Mandy, all I can say is Wow! your SW sounds really positive.   It sounds really promising and, though it's not the easiest thing to have to do, I'm sure you and DH will fly through the home assessment.

Shannis, Morgana and Nat, good to hear that you're starting on the road.  Best of luck with the rest of the process, will keep checking to see how it's going.

Shannis, I'm going to admit complete ignorance

Dennis'Sharon????   NHO????   What's that about then?

Ann, hope you're not finding it too traumatic counting down to the 4th, won't be long.

Well we had our last home assessment today, our SW has gone away to write up our report.  Because of school holidays she's looking to get us to panel at the end of October.  Karen in answer to your question about BMP it just happens that we have enquired today about siblings.  We only had a quick look at our local area in the August issue because it arrived just as we were going on holiday.  We got it out during the meeting this morning because we were discussing diversity with the SW and I spotted two siblings.  We've read their details and they're just what we're looking for (apart from the fact that they live in London!!).  We had a word with our SW and she's fine with us enquiring, so we left a message on their SW's voicemail today.  Not holding out any hopes because we live miles away and they sound so good I'm sure there will be loads of couples after them but it doesn't hurt to ask.  Will keep you posted.

How are you passing the time until panel?  Bitten all your fingernails off yet?  Been working your way through the Mothercare/IKEA/Argos catalogues?   

Hope everyone else is well, everybody's been a bit quiet recently so I assume they are all busy doing their prep courses/assessment.

Take care everyone.
love
Cindy



 
 
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