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Looking to start or going through adoption

14K views 78 replies 24 participants last post by  Dee 
#1 ·
Hi girls

Thought I would start a new thread as we seem to be posting in lots of different threads at the minute and some of them are over 12 months old! Any chance one of the global mod gods can lock it off (thanks)?

Becky - good luck for the course, you will find it really interesting. Must be a good day as that is when we start our home study part too.

My SW has said that he thinks we will go to panel in Feb and then given that we are looking to take a sibling group of two children that we should be matched relatively quickly. So my dream of next summer off work should be a reality! You watch though, just because i'm off, we won't have a summer like this one!!

Virginia - Thanks for your IM, I have responded directly to you.

BevH - not sure if you are still considering this as an option, hope you are keeping well and that you and Garry both enjoyed the big 40.

I'm not sure who else is still lurking on the adoption pages either looking to start or like me and Becky are starting on the journey. It would be great to hear from you all.

It is difficult to share some of the information about adoption because of protecting the process, but I will share as much as I can.

Good luck
love
Karen x

 
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#3 ·
Carol and Mel

Thanks for your good wishes, but it looks like the hiccups are continuing.

We had a phone call at nine o clock to say he was sick. It seems like we have been allocated the social worker from hell as all he seems to do is be on holiday or be off sick. Hopefully if it all goes to plan we should have the kids in April which means it will have taken 14 months in all, but it is now 4 months since we finished our course without any further progress.

He is due round again next Wednesday, so watch this space!

Love
Karen x

 
#5 ·
Well news from Social Services. Our Sw is now going to be on long term sick so won't be able to do our case, so we have now officially been reallocated to another social worker who will be contacting us in the next few days to get the ball moving again.

Thankfully this time they didn't have to wait for me to call them, they actually rang me.

The allocations manager has said that if god forbid something goes wrong with this allocated SW then she will personally deal with our case.

So no SW visit as per the calendar tomorrow, but hopefully a whole series of appointments will be sorted by the end of the week.

Hope everyone else on the adoption journey is doing well.

I'll keep you all posted.
Love
Karen x
 
#6 ·
Karen
Glad to they rung you.
Hope you can get some appointments sorted by the end of the week, sounds like they are trying to get it sorted, so they should
Take care
Love Jo
x x x
 
#9 ·
Good News!! (well I won't hold my breath given events over recent weeks)

I have made contact with our new SW and she is coming round next Thursday. She sounds really nice and will hopefully get us back on track.

I'll keep you all posted.

Love
Karen x
 
#10 ·
Nice on Karen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully the new SW is better than the last!

Love Sue
xxxxxxxx
 
#11 ·
Karen,

Glad that things seem to be on the up with the new SW.

Hope things will now get moving for you.

Love

Allie

 
#12 ·
Hi Karen
Glad to here that things are moving again for you..another step closer!!
luv
juel xx
 
#13 ·
Hi Karen

Hope it wont be too long now, and this new SW has some common sense and gets things moving.

Love Kim x x x
 
#15 ·
Dear Karen and dh

Just noticed you have a s/w visit today and it's the first one!!!!!!!

Hope it all goes smoothly and you aren't tooooo nervous!

Wishing you all the best

Good luck
Love Sue
xxxxxxx
 
#16 ·
Karen,

Lots of luck with the new S/W today - i hope she gets things moving for you again,

Much love, Lizzy xx
 
#17 ·
Well at long last things are finally moving. I was so nervous today, didn't really know what to expect.

She has basically set up six dates with us to do the assessment. Next week I am having my individual meeting with her, when I will have to talk to her about my childhood, education, employment, relationships etc. I also have to prepare a written piece on this too.

She's taken alot of details from us today and is now starting to generate some of the stuff that we will need to do.

I am feeling alot more relieved that things are finally happening ;D. Will wait to see what the rest of the process brings but just pleased to have got this far now ;D.

Will keep you all updated. Thanks for the good wishes.

Love
Karen x
 
#19 ·
Glad today went well and you can move forward again Karen!

Love Sue
xxxxx
 
#20 ·
Sue

I have just seen your bio at the bottom of your message OMG I can't believe I have missed your news.

Can understand the scared feelings, but have my fingers toes and everything crossed for your scan.

Love
Karen x
 
#21 ·
Karen

This is just so exciting now, Ive been thinking about you today wondering how things were going.

Imagine the day is coming up soon when you announce to us your new family!!

Im so excitied for you

Love Lou xxx
 
#22 ·
Hi Karen

Fantastic news! So pleased that you have some progress at last.

Lots of luck

Sophie
xx
 
#23 ·
Hi Everyone

Well I had my own individual meeting with the SW today which went very well. Rich has got his on Monday, and then we have one further visit before Christmas.

After that we have three appointments in the New year, by which time she will hopefully have everything they need for this part of the process. We then have to have our documents pulled together into a portfolio and then we go to panel to be formally approved.

Just between last Thursday and this, there has been alot of work to do, on top of what is already a really busy time at work and to top it all off, we are in the middle of having our double glazing done at home so the house is a right tip.

I can't believe we are finally at the stage where bit by bit we can see the progress towards our dream right before our very eyes.

Hope everyone else is well.

I'll keep you all updated.
Love
Karen x
 
#24 ·
Hi there


Im SO glad things are moving for you at last !

Take care

Love Gail xxxx
 
#25 ·
Hi Karen

Congratulations on getting so far in your process. It sounds like you are nearly there. I haven't posted on this thread before but I have been reading it for a long time because adoption was always a possibility for us.

We actually started adoption procedures 4 yrs ago following unsuccesful IUI and got as far as the initial workshop. We hadn't considered IVF at the time because of the expense/emotional commitment. We ended up taking the SW advice that we should be certain we were happy in our own lives. We moved house to the country and my DH changed his job. In the end we decided to give IVF a go because our if was unexplained and we realised we would always wonder "What was the problem? What if IVF had worked?". The fact of the matter is now it hasn't worked although we still don't know why, and we are going back to plan A.

I've already contacted my two local authorities, Staffordshire and Derbyshire (we're on the border). The impression I get is that Staffordshire are efficient but the woman didn't sound sympathetic. It was sort of "under fives, you'll be lucky", but I received their information form within 24hrs. The Derbyshire placement officer sounded nice but I'm still waiting for the form 2 days later. We plan to go for two siblings as we both come from large families and think (perhaps wrongly) that it's better than being an only child.

I've read the Ann Morris book and found it very informative. Although unfortunately, the book and the information form have reminded me of what we are going to be putting ourselves through. Simply the form has made me realise that there are things I still need to consider, like who will be the children's guardians if we die. This is not something that you ever think about when you're a "natural" parent. Also pg only takes 9 months, adoption can be a lot longer.

I am scared that I will find the process to be long, frustrating and intrusive and I did go through a period of not wanting to bother. Part of me wanted to run away and forget about it all, but my DH correctly pointed out to me that I would regret it later in my life and that a lifetime of opportunity is worth a year or two of aggravation/frustration.

I will be grateful for any advice you can offer and will keep you updated on my progress.

love
Cindy



 
#26 ·
Hi Cindy

Sorry I haven't replied sooner, but my PC has been away for an upgrade and i only got it back tonight.

Good luck with the process. I have a friend at work who did her adoption through Staffs and she said they were very nice. I am with Wolverhampton. Like you I'm on the border! We actually live in Shropshire, postally we are West Midlands and the Staffs broder is only a mile away. We started with Shropshire but they cancelled their open evening and won't let you start without it, so we opted for Wolverhampton instead.

We have had a few hiccups. It took them 3 months post course to assign us to an SW and then the one they assigned us to went on long term sick. We now have a very nice SW who is progressing things along at a nice pace. We have had 4 visits with her so far, one each and two together. We have a further 3 planned for the new year and she anticipates that we will go to panel in late Feb, early March.

To help us along, we have tried to do as much as we possibly can on the home study part. There is a fair bit that is self explanatory and so we have done what we can in that area. It has helped speed up the home study stuff we are doing now.

I haven't found the process to be intrusive yet and don't expect it to be. I haven't felt I've needed to watch what I am saying for fear of it being taken the wrong way.

keep me posted with how you get on. you never know, christmas in our houses could be very different next year!!

Good luck
Love
Karen x
 
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