My heart goes out to you. Wishing you strength now and love and happiness in however you decide to proceed.
I would also like to echo the other girls and say what an inspiration you are - I would never have found out about the Spanish clinics or this fantastic community of girls on the web without you - thanks sooo much.
Thanks so much for all the messages of support. It really does help to know that there are so many people thinking of us and I'm gald I've helped some of you along the way.
We're still shocked, numb, angry, but we've decided that we need ot understand more about what's happened - this will be my 3rd mc, so it points to an underlying problem with me. We don't want to do another De cycle & have the same thing happen again if we can help it.
I'll no doubt be lurking - it's a hard habit to break after so long. Good luck & baby dust to everyone.
i have wirtten on another thread but wish to add it to this one and hopefully someone can unfuddle my brain for me.
I have been a bit confused by all this" money for donors" thing in the press this week.. In one article it suggested £1000 to the donor per egg! In another it just said £1000 for donation (no mention of per egg)
Who will pay this and is it on top of the current fee, which by the way has risen by £1500 for the recipients at one clinic, I will not mention the name. At this rate we are at the point where we cannot afford tx. If we will be asked to pay an extra £1000 on top, just because I am not "normal" we will not be able to have kids of ouor own. Why is that recipients seem to be getting such a rough ride lately. My uunderstanding is that we will not be able to receive the so called free tx, as outlined earlier this year, because it is not seen as just IVF, ( I might be wreong and please tell me if I am).
i just feel this is such an uphill struggle as it is.
i know only too well just what a donor goes through emotionally and physically, having tried producing my own eggs for the first tx. I am not selfish in thinking that i deserve eggs from a donor just because that is the way I feel. i just feel as recipients we are being booted out of tx more and more.
Yes I do feel recipients deserve thanks, emotionally and financially but could the gov not help or even the clinics.
Sorry for the rant. THANKYOU to all those who have or are going to donate, I hope you know just how gratefull we recipients really are.
Awwww Jan - I did hear this recently and immediately thought, well that's an extra to go on our bill? I understood this to mean "cycle" with however (if any) number eggs collected being given to the recipient and I do think this would help donors come forward, as opposed to currently costing them money.
I know the clinics vary - we currently pay £4000 as a recipient currently, but this would certainly out price treatment for us. Please don't think of yourself as not normal - you have a medical condition just like the rest of us, but I understand your frustration. I won't go into the funding/unfunded debate (got myself in trouble last time with this one!!), but I do agree that we certainly get the rough deal with all this.
Donors are wonderful, selfless people who genuinely want to help us become parents. My sadness stems from the tabboo of DE, but then I guess people never think about it (until like us they need to) and clinics clearly don't advertise enough externally, despite the enhanced fees we pay for treatment.
Just thought I'd reply about the payments to egg donors - the HFEA is considering changes to its stance on payment to gamete donors (sperm as well as egg) and is currently "consulting" interested parties. You can go to the HFEA website, read through the background to it all and their thoughts, and then complete a questionnaire to let them know what you think (there is a link from the ff homepage, although I had to "go the long way round" the hfea site as the hfea's own link to its own questionnaire didn't work!). My dp says "as if they'll take any notice of what you think" but I hope they will. I feel that donors should be recompensed for all expenses and for all the time, hassle and discomfort that donating eggs entails - if that means "paying" them £1000 then so be it. There is a bit of discussion on the hfea document about payments in kind, which is what egg sharers get at the moment - I think they get a benefit, so altruistic donors should do too (but only as compensation for what they go through rather than a direct payment for their eggs if you see what I mean). Currently, if you are recip to an egg donor, the donors only pay £500ish for their cycle, and we pay £3500, ie the clinic gets £4000 for 2 ivf cycles which is what it gets for 2 non-donating ivf cycles. If the donor is altruistic, and there are 2 recips the clinic gets £7000 for effectively 2 ivf cycles - surely they could give £1000 of that to the donor? (I know different clinics have different charges, but you get the gist)
Anyway, to all you wonderful egg sharers out there, please don't think I 'm having a go at you - I really appreciate what you are doing giving away some of your eggs and I know it is not always easy for you, I don't mean to suggest you're all doing it only as a way of getting ivf cheaper (it is an expensive business for all of us so I do understand). It is just that if we could get more ladies to donate we would not have to wait so long.
Sorry I've hijacked this thread for a bit of a rant Best wishes to all the ladies in waiting
Hiya Indianna, glad to see you oon here. i agree, this thread has been very very quiet.
I think your comment re victim of own success is typical for clinics at the moment, but i am sure your short wait will definately all be very very worth it.
I am just hunky dorey. Steve is away fro a couple of days, that is not the reason why I am hunky dorey though.
Just starting to get ready for xmas.
Hope everyone is well.
I just thought I would update you all on what's been happening. After waiting a couple of months IVI Madrid have decided to refurbish the labs, so the waiting list is another 3 months - just my luck.
So, I have now changed to IVI Barcelona. This is a clinic which has just been opened. I emailed them just before Christmas and after a couple of reminders Dr Castillon called me last Friday evening. They have transferred my medical records from IVI Madrid and I am starting my treatment this month.
I need to have a scan in the UK on 21 Jan, start Decapeptyl on 25 January. Donor starts stims on 1 Feb, EC 14 Feb and ET 18 Feb. (Obviously this is if all goes to plan - I am expecting some bumps in the road along the way!).
I have started a new thread in the "treatment overseas" section if anyone else is thinking of going to Spain.