Wedding went fine. We were seated with two lovely couples appart from the fact that the one lady had never been able to have children and when she had downed a few drinks insisted on keeping on at me and DH to promiss we would have a baby by our friends 5th wedding anniversary, IF ONLY!!! Needless to say this got a little upsetting.
Went to York for three days with work then for our Christmas bash which was good fun but turned into a little nightmare when I called DH. This was the first time we had been apart from each other over night since the whole IF thing and DH was feeling more than a little low with my absence. When I rang him he insisted on me leaving him and finding someone better as he thought he was holding me back. Needless to say I went straight to my room and called him and we literally cried to each other for an hour on the phone.
He was ok when I got home yesterday and we had a huge cuddle and just held each other for what felt like ages as neither of us wanted to let go.
I hope that this is now the start of us looking forward.
Sorry for the rant guys but I have just missed you all so much I have just kinda let it all out to you all in one swoop.
Lol to everyhone and I hope you are all ok.
Here's to Christmas and a New Wonderful Year to us all.
Good to have you back! Sorry to hear about rantings of the drunk woman. Nothing like a wedding for all and sundry to start asking why you have no kids, are you doing it right etc! Also sorry to hear your dh was feeling so low but glad to hear you both pulled together and got through it - you both are very strong - I hope that 2005 brings you both all your dreams.
I'm off to brave the Xmas shops now to get my final bits. If I don't get them today - then people will have to go with on Xmas day!
Hey Fin - glad to see you're back and fingers crossed DH is feeling better now
Emma & Dotty - Get those feet up. Sounds like all is going well. Got everything crossed for you both - Emma I had lots of pain after the EC for about 5 days but I could lie flat and not sit upright - I think it was the cyclogest. DH wanted to ring the hosp but I felt too embarrased as it just felt like I need a huge "dump" - it should pass soon
Sarah - are you still holding in there ok? fingers crossed for you
Caroline - A Belated Happy Birthday and what an excellent birthday surprise - CONGRATULATIONS - really really chuffed for you.
Thanks everyone for your good wishes - I balled my eyes out when I read them . At the minute Im going between real low spots and then feeling absolutely fine - hoping its just hormones coming out of my system sending me "loop the loop" . Rang hosp about BFN and we should get a follow up appt in Jan which is good 'cos it give me chance to think of loads of questions. We get one more go on the NHS and I need to call them with my 3rd bleed which includes this one. So that could be Feb but as I have irregular periods maybe later.
The nurse asked if I had any questions and I mentioned about the quality of the embryos but Im not really sure what I should ask. She said I could speak to the embryologist next week as it'll be quiet and she could give me an idea of the embryology side of it...... Not sure what to ask? Any ideas anyone?
Anyway thanks again for the best wishes - Huge Hugs to everyone
Cam - I am so, so sorry for the BFN. I really was rooting for you. Hang in there babe I am positive you will get there in the end as we all will.
Dotty - Have you had ET Tried to catch up on the posts but got a little lost so must have missed it.
Deb - Thanks for the IM. I would very much like to contact your guy if you have his details even if it is just to get his opinion. The thing is from my research I have found that there are lots of clinics in the UK that state they do Microdisection Tese but in fact just carry out a more invasive form on Tese. With Microdisection the guy has an actual surgical procedure where both testicles are opened and the surgeon looks at each tube with a microscope and those that have a dilated appearance are more likely to hold sperm so the surgeon can just concentrate on these. With Tese it is kinda hit and miss as a needle is put in the testicle and samples are taken from about half a dozen sites at random so even though no sperm is found there could be some lurking deeper elsewhere. After our chat on the weekend we have set our minds on New York now as we feel this will be our final attempt and we have to feel as though we have given it our all. Thanks for your help babe I really do appreciate it and like I said I will give your guy a ring for advise if you have his number.
your post brought a tear to my eye - it reminded me how difficult it is for my dp. he is your typical bloke - goes to work and keeps his routine so as not to have to think too much about things. as far as he is concerned, he only gets upset if i am. which i have been alot over the last couple of months. i am hoping that once christmas and new year is over that we can turn a corner. and between now and then we have an appointment with argc so look forward to getting an opinion of someone who really does know. going through this has really tested the metal of our relationship!
has anyone's dp-dh taken glutathione for poor quality sperm? not sure it will make a difference for dp - but you never know!
So nice to have you back! Sorry to hear about the drunken rantings you had to put up with and I'm glad that you and dh are ok! Big for you.
Yep, I had et yesterday at 12pm so now it is just the dreaded 2ww!!!
I noticed deb posting about microdisection in the UK, are you going to look into it?
I'm sooooooo bored!!!!!! I want to clean the house but know that if I get a bfn I will blame it on my neurotic tidying!!
As you say, one day down....only 13 to go!! I may go mad! Hope you are doing better than me!
Take care and 'speak' soon
thanks for the info on boots product. will go and get! my partner does an hours running at the gym about three times a week. do you think it would help on the sperm quality side of things to give it a rest? poor him, i have already told him he can't have jacuzzi or drink much alcohol! does it make much difference?
fin, it's irritating when people say things like that. i always feel like snapping back that it's none of anyone's bl**dy business . still, i think our generation (considering that 1 in6 couples have problems) will be more considerate in the future as this fertility problem continues to grow. i know that my brother (he has two kids under 5) never asks his friends as he said to me (before i told him about our problems conceiving) you just never know if people are trying. eva
hi fin - just a quick posting - Im off to the dr's...
When Im back I will IM you Mr Ramsey details. If you have a look under male infertility thread - Lucy has responded to your question re microdisection. Her dh had it done by Mr Ramsey too. It will be interesting to hear what you find out. Mr Ramsey very clued up and he said to me he does the same as Peter Shengell.. it great you have made a decision though. Ill will IM you his details if you want further advice or a final opinion... Deborah xx
Cam - how are you doing? hope you are looking after yourself and hope you get some useful answers from the embryologist next week. we were at lwh as well and found them all very nice.
Well this is the last day of my week off work. I have to say that even though it has got a tad boring every now and again, I haven't missed work at all. Luckily I have only got to work Monday and Tuesday and then I am off until after Christmas
My mum phoned this morning and we were going through how many days I had left, amazing how we managed to knock the odd day off hear and there
Anyway, wishing you all a very good weekend. I will probably be back on later anyway, can't keep away
Great to have you back Fin..seems like you have had an emotional few days.
Sorry no personals but my head is a bit gone. Clinic just phoned & said they now want me to start taking the pill when December AF arrives now.Originally was going to be January because of Christmas...so told them no sign of Dec AF yet & they now want me to go on Monday & have a scan of my womb.
So I am going to take all your advice to Nat & give dh lots of loving this weekend & see if we can't kickstart the old girl !
By the way, bought a hpt when I was out this afternoon.. Told the clinic when they phoned & she suggested that it wouldn't be possible for it to happen if we had PESA to get sperm..so the dislodgement theory is probably a non starter..but being as I have spent my money on it now I guess I may as well do it
Nat - if you are getting impatient for your AF perhaps you should ask for a scan too.
Sorry that's all folks..out for Christmas drinks (or drink in my case) with the girlies & I need to go & pamper myself !
Just got back from a hellish shopping trip. Tripped over a guy in a wheelchair and nearly ended up in one myself! He looked a bit bemused when this mad woman nearly landed in his lap!
Then was in Tesco and said to the woman in the queue behind me that there wasn't a next customer thing and she then proceeded to tell me not to worry, she's not in a hurry, everyone is always in a hurry, everyone in England is rude and the country is going down the pan.
One of those moments where I wondered what I had said - I wished her a Merry Christmas and made a run for it!
It's a scary world out there!
Cam - the embryologist should be able to tell you about the grading of the embryo's. A good question to ask her would be is there anything she would ask if she was in your position.
Emma - cyclogest is . I made some very strange noises while on it!
Dotty - no housework!!!! Get a few DVDs out or something to keep yourself occupied. Might want to avoid comedies though because all that laughing and all that cyclogest could be a lethal combination!
EmmaS - DW has been like a rugby player and has been burping and farting to excess. Luckily both DW and I did engineering degrees at Uni and burping is par of the course
Your symptons sound OHSS like so it's strange but good you haven't got it.
Lizi - Next scan on the 17th of Jan at Kings College London which is a bit of a trek....
Fin - It's strange the IF treament has made mine and DWs relationship stronger but she worries I'll leave her for another woman and I worry she'll leave coz of mi balls, but actually it brings us closer together. Luv's that mad stuff. I hate to say it but this year has been bad for me on the social side I've lost contact with a lot of mates and missed my birthday as the treatment has taken a lot of time and drains you emotionally. I think this fact and the emotional bonding is string with your DP causes a worry of loss or the old "if you love someone let them go..."
Shannon - Use your husband not some poor bloke in a wheelchair (or is it a fetish...)
Bugdug - the pill er.... ok..
Dotty - sit back and think of mothercare...
Good luck on the 2WW!!
Wow, so much has been happening I'm struggling to keep up! I don't think we've ever had so many of us on their 2ww at the same time before.. Dotty, Sarah and Emma, thinking of you! (and if I've missed any other 2ww-ers sooo sorry, my computer is being a pain so if I go back and check it will crash).
Thanks so much for your lovely messages, it's been an exciting few days and probably explains me being more of a sieve-brain than usual. Seeing as some of you did ask, I'll tell you what happened (feel free to skip this): we went out for dinner the night before my birthday as it was DD's carol service on the actual day. I was absolutely knackered at the restaurant and skipped pudding and went straight for coffee as I wanted a caffeine hit! We went home and DP made us a cup of tea and we took it up to bed then he said I could have a present early, but not to get excited. It was quite big, wrapped in some Christmas paper I'd bought, and was a padded Thorntons box. So I said 'Oh it's because you want a chocolate with your tea!' but when I opened it he'd taken all the choccies out and the ring was in there. He said something like 'I wondered if you wanted to get married' and I was going 'Gosh! Wow.. blimey.. thought they were chocolates' blah blah then he said 'You haven't actually said yes' and I said 'You haven't actually asked.. well I guess kind of, yes I would love to get married'. I'm sure you've heard more romantic stories! I was quite impressed as he'd chosen the ring himself - he said I could change it if I didn't like it and at first I was a bit undecided to be honest, as I like solitaires but this has 3 diamonds. But it's absolutely beautiful - it's platinum, which I love, and is really striking. As the colleague who announced it at school said, 'Don't get on the wrong side of Caroline, she could do you some damage on the chin with that ring'. We're thinking of getting married at Easter, which is March! Positive thinking: it would be nice to be married before having a baby and I could get pg at the beginning of March...well if tx doesn't work at least there'll be something to look forward to. I'm even more in love with DP/DF than ever! Oh and DD screamed with delight and said 'Get married soon and please have a baby too'.
Oh my goodness what a me-me-me post I will try to be a better FF over the Christmas holiday.
Lots of love to everyone and a special for Cam.
Congratulations Caroline.......Can you remember back to a couple of months ago when you were wondering if you would ever get married?? Well here is your answer. Isn't life wonderful at times. I am so happy for the three of you and wish you all the best.
Right guys I'm off now for the weekend and as I still haven't fixed the computer at home will have to catch up with you all on Monday.
Dotty - glad ET went well. I would recommend Philip & Fern if you're getting bored but unfortunately I think they finished for Xmas today. Not that I tuned in especially for the Xmas special or anything
Emma - Hope you're resting up and lapping it up
Sarah - Glad to hear you're doing ok. I feel quite lucky to be with the Womens especially after some of the horror stories on here. I know I shouldnt but I quite like going in there as they're always all so nice & chirpy - really feel like we're being looked after.
Shannon - thanks for the advice on the embryology - Ive decided after a much more positive day Im going to ring them on Monday late on in work. I may not like what they have to say but I think it would be better to get my questions of my chest.
Well half way through my 1st alcoholic beverage in over 3 months mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Feeling all sentimental and festive - Talking of which - is this a really stupid idea or would anyone else enjoy a festive knees up in the chat room. I dont think we've done a ICSI chat for a while - what about Monday night Answers on a postcard please ladies & Andy
Have a nice weekend everyone and thanks for all the support it really helped me get through the last few days almost unscathed (hic). Off to find a lampost to lean on (hic, hic)