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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi to all the May girls who are waiting to try again and to everyone else who'd like to come and join us.

I don't have a consultant date yet. So don't know when I'll be trying again. Hopefully soon!!! Although we're going on holiday to Vancouver first 2 weeks of July and I'm hoping that's not going to clash with the timing for my next try.

Still waiting for the onslaught of AF. Should be any day now.......

Vonnie
 

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Hi Vonnie,

And thanks for setting up the thread. I've found ff such a help over the last weeks and didn't want to keep putting a downer on the 2ww'ers - it's a hard enough time as it is!

I'm finding this time much harder than last as, stupidly, I was convinced that it had worked. I seem to be in a dark place that I can't move from, and although dh is doing his best, it's still getting to him at times.
I've got my next date with my consultant on the 14th, which still seesm so long to go. I've not made it into work today, just too difficult to face yet, and am waiting to hear from th clinics counsellor - I need a little help now!

I think dh and I feel we may need a short break this time, as we don't have any frosties to play with and I found the drugs much worse, and I'm too fragile still I think.
AF arrived today and that's made me feel worse!!

Crikey, could I moan any more!!! Anyway, I hope af comes soon for you so that you can move on too.
And, wow, v jealous about 2 weeks in Vancouver (well anywhere would do right now!) and I'd say it's almost as important as your next go - the break really helps get you physically and mentally ready.

Let me know how you're doing,
Lisa xx
 

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Hi Girls!

Good to have our own thread - wonder if anyone else'll join us?

Vonnie - lucky girl - Canada's lovely - I'm looking to book a holiday for July but can't decide where to go. Good job I'm not busy at work at the moment as I'm scouring the internet for ideas.

Lisa - I know what you mean about being in a dark place - I was there until yesterday - there is nothing you can do to get out of it, although I find it helps being at work where I can talk about other things - then, as the day goes by I realise I've not thought about my problems at all.

My appointment's on the 14th too and I thought it's a long way away but it's only 2 weeks from today and by then we'll be a lot stronger to talk to our consultants. I would have been a quivering wreck if I'd spoken to her last week. I think the counsellor is a good idea. I have contemplated it myself. The hospital I'm at has counsellors you can use so I may go and see one of them.

Definately book yourselves a holiday. That's what I'm looking forward to now.

Hope you feel better soon.

Love Ange x
 

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Hi Vonnie and Lisa
Its really hard waiting in between treatment isn't it? Its almost like wishing your life away.

I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time at the moment Lisa, its so debilitating when treatment doesn't work - it really knocks the stuffing out of you. I think after the initial let down, which feels like slamming into a brick wall, its often very hard to try and think about dusting yourself off and starting again, but of course, we do - however exhausting it is.

I have had several failed IUI's and am now waiting for my fluctuating FSH to go down before I can start the IVF - have been waiting since Jan, so am getting pretty fed up. I conceived naturally inbetween, but sadly had a m/c at 7 weeks.

I hope you both manage to keep going... Vancouver sounds like the perfect distraction to me!

Good luck - keep me posted.

Love
Joanna
 

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Hi Ange...
We must have posted at the same time! I know exactly what you mean about being at work... it can completely take your mind off it sometimes? Still, it can also make me rather impatient with some of the punters I have to deal with!! Can I please ask you a question about your FSH - what readings do you get? I tell you why I ask... I had a really high FSH reading one month and the hospital wouldn't let me start IVF and I actually conceived naturally that month!! very strange - didn't know if you had any experiences like that?

Good luck with your consultation on the 14th - keep us posted.
Joanna
xxxxxx

 

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Joanna

My last FSH was 86 - that was in February and I had a feeling it was going to be high because I was getting hot flushes - something that happened 3 years ago when it was also up in the 80s. Over the last 3 years it's been down to as low as 7. I was told I couldn't do IVF on the NHS because it was over 10 - at that time my fsh was 25. The Lister Hospital, however, have experience of treating people with high fsh and were willing to let me have a go at ivf - until February. Then we resorted to the egg donor option. I've been very lucky as my step-sister has donated eggs to me and although the first 2 didn't work, there are still 6 frosties to play with!

That's really interesting that you got pregnant naturally when your fsh was so high. That's what I (and everyone else!) would love to happen. I was thinking that as I'm having a drug free month this month, that at least there's a chance of falling pregnant naturally. I like your story - you've given me hope - although I'm very sorry that you had a m/c - that must have been devastating.

Love Ange x ^daisy^
 

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Hi Ange
Thanks so much for your history... FSH is a funny old thing (not funny, ha ha... if you get my drift!). I am so pleased to hear that you have some frosties waiting... I really wish you lots of luck with them.

Trust me, after lots of mutterings about my fsh, I NEVER thought it would happen... and it did... which just shows you, it just takes one of those little swimmers and BINGO! Good luck with your drug free month - keep us posted with progress.
Thanks again, for replying to me.
Love
Joanna
 

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Hi girls

Nice to see that I can still log on to FF and find someone to talk to. I didn't want to put a downer on the June Jollies 2ww either and didn't know where else to post.

I got a BFN today and my DP took the phone call from the clinic. As this was our first ICSI I don't know where to go from here. They didn't mention anything to DP, just said sorry it's negative.

Will I get a letter or something? Will they be able to tell me what treatment options are available next?

Like a few of you I am now waiting for the onslaught of AF. That will definitely confirm my result but at least then I can feel normal again - for a while at least.

Love to you all

lulu xx
 

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Morning girls!

Lulu - welcome to the thread - sorry about your BFN - I've been following the June Jollies thread too and was very sad to hear your result.

You'll need to make an appointment to see you consultant to go through your options. Did you have any frosties? If you do they normally like you to have a rest before trying again - probably to preserve your sanity! If you're starting again from scratch, I think you have to wait 3 months before trying again - not sure on this though because I used donor eggs.

My AF's been a bit yukky but nearly over now - not half as bad as I thought it'd be.

Joanna - do you have your fsh checked each month? I was wondering if I should as well - just to keep an eye on it. I can't believe that up until 3 years ago I had never heard of fsh - and now it's such a big part of this whole game - friends and family who know I'm going through this never really understand me when I go on about my levels. It's good to talk to people who can identify with these worries. What level are you waiting for before you can start? Does it have to be under 10?

Hi Vonnie and Lisa - hope you're both ok

Better get some work done!

Love Ange x ^daisy^
 

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Hi all,

And I'm finally back at work today. Still having bad moments but I seem to be able to have some normal moments too!

Lulu - Glad you've join us, although not for your result, but at least we can all keep each other going.

I'm not going to think about my next go yet, but my experience from last time was that you have to have had at least 1 complete normal cycle before starting again.

Welcome Joanna, it's nice to have a few more of us on here.

Hi Vonnie and Ange - hope you're both well.

Lisa xx
 

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Hi ALL

Wondered if I could join u all. Have failed my first Ivf , and am miserable. Well was on the road to recovery when I found out my S-I-L is 12wks pg.

It seems like as soon as i get to know someone is trying they fall pg there and then, almost as if I wij it upon them. Been low since i've found out, i am happy for them, but bitter for myself.

My consulation is on the 23rd June, but luckily I bumped into my gyna whilst going for a blood test and had a kind of consultaion there and then !

She said i need to have this bleed after ivf and another bleed, then can go forward again. This would mean I could down reg mid July.


I was wondering if this is too early, i want to go on asap, but don't want to jeapordise my body o chances of success.

Sonia
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Morning girls,

Joanna and Lulu nice to have you onboard.

Sorry to hear you also got a BFN Lulu. It's not easy, is it!

Joanna, please keep us posted on your FSH levels. This is really interesting as I don't know that much about them. I remember being tested on day 3 of AF in March and the result was normal, but haven't heard mention of it since then. Truly did not realise how important it was.

Lisa good to hear you're back at work. It really will help to take your mind off things. Each day gets a little easier.

Ange have you decided on a destination for your long needed holiday and when are you going?

How I wish I was back home for this.....

I'm a little exasperated with the consultant that I've got. He's Australian and doesn't really have a bed-side-manner to speak of. He tells you the little he thinks you need to know and that's it!!! All I know about IVF I've got from FF or the internet.

On Thursday 27th when I went for my test I was told I'd have to wait until Friday afternoon to get the result as they only get results on Mons, Weds and Frids. When I tried to lightly say to my consultant that I felt that the 2 weeks had been a long enough wait, his response was 'well maybe we shouldn't have put the embryo back'!!!!! I left the hospital feeling REALLY angry.

Needless to say I called his office in the afternoon to add pressure and see if the results were back and he told me it was too early but to call a few hours later. He then gave me the result and was a little more sensitive on the phone. It still leaves you with a bit of a bad taste in your mouth.

Then he tells me that because I haven't had my AF yet that he'd like me to do a HPT every 2nd day until it comes. I called him back on Monday to say it still hadn't arrived and he worried me a little by saying this was pretty unusual. I haven't done another HPT as I don't need to keep seeing the negative to know I'm not pregnant.

Lisa I see that you're AF arrived yesterday and you tested on 29th. Was your hospital telling you this was late?

I still haven't had AF but then again I have irregular cycles, so shouldn't this be the answer to why I haven't had it yet!

I see most of you have dates in June to speak with your consultant about the next step. Mine just told me we could try again in 6 wks if my ovaries were back to normal from OHSS. 6 wks from when????

If any of you girlies can enlighten me where my consultant won't I'd be really grateful.

Oh just in case you're wondering why I'm not changing clinic it's because his lab supposedly have the best results in Hong Kong. For that reason only, I'll suffer him out, but it does leave it a little difficult.

Vonnie
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Sonia, so sorry to hear your news. We must have posted at the same time.

Vonnie
 

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Welcome Sonia - sorry about the bfn - the days will get brighter - I promise! I got my bfn a week ago today and I felt very low for the rest of the week - feel much better now.

Isn't it just typical that everyone around us is pregnant. My friends just pop them out like rabbits! - not fair!! I've always been happy for everyone I know getting pregnant but it does get more and more difficult to have a fixed smile on your face for them when you're hurting inside.

I heard that you have to have 3 cycles before you can try again but I suppose each clinic is different. Just don't rush into it - although that's exactly how I felt when I got my results last week - I just wanted to start again right away!

Vonnie - I feel like strangling your consultant for you! They can be so insensitive. It's good that you've got the internet to find out things. Don't know why your AF hasn't come yet though - mine came 3 days after I stopped drugs. Let us know how you get on.

Still trying to decide where I'm going on holiday..... too many choices...!

Love Ange x ^sunny^

 

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Hello all

I got my BFN this morn, so thought i would come over to chat with you girls that know what it feels like!

Hiya to fellow april/may cycle buddies and June Jollies - i hope you are managing to move on. It is so hard knowing that it is all over as it dominates your life for weeks and then nothing but grief and upset and you wonder how the hell you can do it all again. But saying that i am going to get back on the rollercoaster pretty soon - i am determind not to be beaten.

How do you girls feel about trying again? I think it is going to be harder the second time, but hopefully the clinic's know a bit more about us (medically) for future treatment. Do you think they will have any ideas why it did not work?

Take care
Clare
xx
 

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Hi Clare

Welcome to this thread! Sorry to hear about your result. It does take over your life - all the waiting and then the excitement that you may be pregnant - and after all that the disappointment and loss you feel. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have gone through this time and time again like some girls have. You must have to be a very strong person.

I'm looking forward to starting my frozen cycle and also to see my consultant to see if she has any ideas why it didn't work. I don't think I'll be as positive next time - I really didn't know what to expect and I told loads of people. Next time I'm going to try and keep it quiet and also really try and rest more in the 2ww.

When are you going to try again?

Love Ange x
 

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Hiya Ange

I dont know how long our clinic like you to wait before starting again so i will call them tomorrow and hopefully book in on the next cycle i can join - our clinic get everyone started about the same time by us taking the pill (is this norm)? so i dont really know when but hopefully in a couple of months i will be jabbing again!!

I know what you mean about being positive - i really believed it was going to work this time.......was not meant to be. Maybe next time i will be a little more realistic??!!

Good luck with your FET - does that mean you dont need any drugs this time?

Clare
xx
 

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Clare - I did ICSI using donor eggs last time and I've got 6 left in the freezer! The medication i took for the first time will be exactly the same as for the next one. I had to take the pill first, then the sniffing, then the hrt, then the cyclogest whilst my donor, my step sister, had to inject herself and sniff! The only good thing about this next time is that I don't have to coordinate my cycle with hers - I can just start whenever I'm ready and my AF starts.

Love Ange x

 

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Hi Girls
Just typed my msg and lost it!! durrrh.
What a great thread that has been started... we can all push each other along this path..

Vonnie - can you not change Consultant? at a time like this you need a bit support and compassion - bare facts won't do - if it matters to you it should matter to him - he's there to help you.

Lulu, Clare and Sonia - sorry to hear about BFNs - it knocks you for six especially when you have convinced yourself its worked - hope you both feel stronger soon.

Lisa - glad you are back at work - is it taking your mind off it a tiny bit? you'll feel stronger each day.. and more able to cope. I had a m/c a couple of weeks ago and thought the world had ended - which it did temporarily! Just posting on here made me feel better and I am trying to look to the future and be positive!! good luck with the next treatment.

Ange - this FSH lark is a nightmare isn't it? I didnt even realise that FSH had any bearing on IVF treatment at all - I think the clinic thought I was ga ga when I looked at them blankly when they told me my levels were too high! Since then, I've read every flipping article known to man about it! There's nothing we can do to reduce it is there? Mine swings between 9 and 15. Still, we shouldn't give up hope... I conceived on the highest reading month? Have you got any tips on what to do? Booked your hols yet?

Hope I havent missed anyone off - hope everyone is OK and take lots of care of each other.

Love
Joanna
 

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Morning Ladies,

Well the sun is shining ^sunny^
and I managed to get through yesterday without shedding a single tear (1st day since Saturday!) and after getting on with some mundane chores last night and waking up to what looks to be a gorgeous day - I'm feeling really positive!! :D

Thanks for all your kind thougths, it really is the best place on here!

I started to do some research last night into other clinics as, although at my last place the people were great, and I was lucky enough to get both last atttempts on the NHS, I want now to change to somewhere that I have a bit more confidence in.
It's a real minefield of information though. It'll give dh and I some time to think though as after 2 go's in quick succession I'm not ready to leap into the next.

If anyone out htere has any good recommendations for London clinics I'd be grateful!

Vonnie - it sounds like you're having a tough time at your place, although in answer to your question, AF had arrived before I'd spoken to anyone as I tesed on the Sat of the BH weekend!! Any sign of yours yet?

Welcome Sonia and Clare - and as you'll see from my babbling, this place is the place to be to keep us all revved up/ticking over!

Take care everyone,
Lisa xx
 
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