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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
Effi, you took the words right out of my mouth about people thinking it's easy and that everyone will have a happy ending.  People are totally shocked when I tell them that my statistical chances are virtually nil.  They think it's a magic bullet.

My mother very often says she doesn't understand why I want children so much because she's never felt that way.  But I know for a fact that's not true. It's not for me to share what she went through to have me, but I know from what happened to her that she's not telling me the truth.  And she also asks me why I want to bring a child into the world with everything that's happening today.  It's a compelling argument, but I guess you always have to hope that the next generation will help to bring about positive change.  But when it comes down to it, she would do anything in the world to help me if she could.

Magicpillow if I had a fiver for every time someone tried to force me to consider adoption (including every doctor I've ever seen, which is insane, as they must know how hard it is to adopt and what sort of children people our age would get) I could probably have paid for a whole cycle.  This includes a friend of mine who's a top psychiatrist and thinks we could make a huge difference.  I don't speak to him about this any more, because my husband and I are absolutely certain that adoption is not for us.  I've looked after other people's children all my life, and it hasn't been enough for years, not by a long chalk.  One of my teaching colleagues brought up the 'A-word' today, saying I was so loving and supportive of the children I teach that surely I would be the same with an adopted child.  But I told her exactly this; that other people's children haven't been enough for years.

I don't think any of us have anything to be embarrassed about.  We all have incredible courage, perseverance and fortitude to go through what we do, and no matter how many celebrities sell books or write articles, it will always be a lonely road.  We need to be incredibly proud of the qualities we show throughout this process, and also of the way we support each other on the boards.  However much this is in the spotlight, nobody who hasn't walked this road will ever truly 'get it', which brings me back to the conclusion that most of the publicity is being done to sell books/papers/blogs rather than to help anyone, because by and large, it fails miserably.  I would not have been without my 'Richard and Rosie' on this journey, but they are not celebrities, and I find their writing a refreshing exception to the rule.
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