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Hi Kieran is 23 months tomorrow and he is going through a big stage of everything is MINE.  Kieran doesn't have anyone he has to share his toys with at home, but at the childminders he does, although I believe they regularly want and argue for the same toy.  Last night Kieran even got upset when the cat went in his play house.

Dh seems to think that he is too young to understand sharing and they cannot understand it until there 3 or so.  What does anyone else think, he doesn't seem happy to share his toys at all.  If he is playing with a toy in the garden and I touch one of his toys, thats then the one he wants to play with and cries and gets upset if you don't let him have it straight away.

Interesting to see what others opinions are what their lo's are/were like.

shazznewman
 

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Hi Shazz

Sounds pretty normal to me. I meet with my antenatal group every week and a few of the kids inc. Ethan do that too.

I think they are a little young to truly understand the concept of sharing but I think it is worth explaining anyway so that they get used to hearing it and also heap loads of praise when he does share. Ethan has gradually got better and now understands that it is good to share. He still finds it hard though and often can't control his emotions.  I read it is good to explain about taking turns as they find it easier to understand at a young age then just talking about sharing.

Nicky x
 

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You might like this poem then....
1- If I want it, it's mine
2- If it's in my hand, it's mine
3- If I can take it away from
you, it's mine
4- If I had it a little while ago, it's mine
5- If it's mine, it must never appear
to be yours in any way
6- If we are building something together,
all the pieces are mine
7- If it just looks like mine, it's mine
8- If I think it's mine, it's mine
9- If I give it to you and change
my mind later, it's mine
10- Once it's mine it will never belong
to anyone else, no matter what

;)

PS - they do learn about sharing, even when there are 2 of them and 2 identical items, we used to have the same problem!
 

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I think your DH is right, even if they learn the word and repeat it when you say they should share, the actual concept is not clear until older.  It doesn't mean you shouldn't try to teach it though.  Just don't expect too much. 

We use 'turns' instead of sharing, which seems to work a little bit better.  I do think sharing is a more obscure concept to little ones, whereas taking a turn seemed to sink in more easily.  Matthew tells us we can have a turn with various household items "daddy can have a turn with the hoover now and then it's my turn"  ;D ;D

I don't think there are many LOs Kieran's age who don't go through it - to varying degrees.  M is not that possessive of alot of things, but no way would he give up his toy drill  ::)  But he does get really interested all of a sudden in something that I say he can't have or when his friends come to play he suddenly sparks an strong desire to play with something he's not touched in months just because another child wants it.  He's never really used the word mine though, but some of his little friends say mine all the time. I've noticed that some children really cry if another one takes a toy, though M doesn't really - but he is so stubborn if a child tries to take something, he hangs on for dear life!  ;D 
So all similar but different strokes really.  I would try to introduce a strategy but also let him feel some items are his some of the time.  There are toys that I make Matthew share but a couple of things (his doggy, his muzzies and his tools) that if they try to take I will suggest to other children that they have something else instead - as they are sacred!

Claire x

 

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Yup, my two do it too - the most fun toy in the room is always the one that someone else has..............until they have it that is! I also do 'turns' and most the time they will willingly hand over whatever, saying it's so-and-so's turn, because they know that within a few minutes they will get it back.

Chux xx
 
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