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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, my name's Louise, I'm 39 and started IVF/ICSI in October of last year, as my husband had to have SSR initially as he had a vasectomy following two children from a previous marriage who are now both grown up.  I've never been blessed with children but we have to go down the expensive route of IVF as a vasectomy reversal we have been told would be unlikely to work. 

We had two embryo's put back at the beginning of February and 2 weeks later I tested positive on a pregnancy test and I was over the moon, we had an early scan at 7 weeks and they said everything was perfect, one baby with a very strong heartbeat, baby the right size and everything looked good. 

At 11 weeks I really thought things would be OK but I started to lose blood and had a scan the following day and my baby had died, apparently stopped growing some 3/4 weeks before as the yolk sack wasn't present which feeds the baby.

We've been through so much and I feel totally devastated, so very sad and empty.  Looking at this website I didn't realise how many people have been through so much too and its so sad to think that so many people like me who are so desperate to have a baby go through this.

As we had to fund IVF ourselves as I was not entitled to any free cycles and my husband has children! so unfair, we always said we would only have one go but we have asked my parents to help and we will have one more go, once I can.  It's only been 2 weeks and I only stopped losing a week ago, I've been told I need to have a normal period and then the clinic can start my treatment on the following cycle.

I am just so scared and stressed about the whole thing which I know doesn't help things but that's a vicious circle.  Can anyone offer any advice?

Good luck to everyone else, you hear so many positive stories but just too many sad ones.

Will this empty sad feeling every go away?

Louise x
 

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Hi

Just wanted to say so sorry for your loss  ^hugme^ . I'm not sure I have all the answers and everyone's experience is so different. It's such a tough thing to have to go though. In my case, things did seem to get easier as time went on and it certainly helped me just to talk to people and even just reading other people's experiences on this site was helpful. The biggest thing to help me cope was just jumping in and starting the process again as I had something to focus on that seemed positive....but I know that's not always an option for everyone.

It must be tough having to fund treatment from the beginning, seems so unfair. We have now used up all our NHS options and making decisions on what to do next is tricky, so I feel for you.

Good luck and lots of hugs

Tabby Cat
 

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to FF, Louise!! I haven´t been through a miscarriage so I can´t even begin to imagine what you have been through, I am so sorry for your loss. Have you had some sort of follow up appointment with the hospital to discuss what happened? We have a Pregnancy, Stillbirth & Neonatal loss section ~ CLICK HERE which you might be interested in. You will be able to talk to other ladies who have been through similar experiences.

There is a What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) thread will give you some info on how to navigate the site ~ CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows of treatment together.

Sue ^hugme^
 

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WELCOME TO FF
Louise1971
Massive hugs it really is pants ^eyes^ ^eyes^ ^eyes^ The pain of losing a longed for little one really is hard to to live with,I still feel broken after losing our 1st little one in 2009 :'( :'( :'( :'(
I really hope that once you feel strong enough you start again and your dreams come true
^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^

I wanted to say Hello and welcome you to FF, my role here on FF as a volunteer is to make sure you find your way as easy as possible, hopefully this message will do that, There are many members here with a true understanding of what you are going through at all stages that infertility throws at you :( FF has brought so many people together and helps form many new friendships that may last many years, I certainly have and my life is richer for it. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what the IF journey entails and the emotions that go with it, That's where FF comes in to play.
I hope that you will find the links i have left you helpful and direct you where you need to be until you find your feet, which won't be long i can assure you. If there is anything that you still need to find give me or any Volunteer a shout and we will be happy to help you :)
Links to follow................

What Every New Member Needs to Know
CLICK HERE

Fertility Guides
CLICK
HERE


Starting out & Diagnosis ~ CLICK HERE

Investigations & Immunology ~ CLICK HERE
Pregnancy, Stillbirth & Neonatal loss ~ CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time.
The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that.
Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment

Cycle buddies
CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.
CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the Location boards. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ and ^fairydust^
Keep in touch
Lou
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for your really kind words, I've read so many other posts on here and it really does help to have others to link in with who understand.

We will have anothe go, I think you're right about having something to focus on.

Wishing you and everyone lots of luck xxx
 
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