Jac - sorry you have the cold, but just wanted to thank you for your post about being thankful and having Jaqson as your only child. Really gives me hope and courage to make a similar decision too
bless you x
Jac - I'm also coming to the conclusion now that Katelyn is going to be my only child. After many tears, soul-searching, talking etc.... (It's been a rough few weeks!) I am going to go with what Neale wants and be content and happy with what we have. Like he says, he has given me everything I ever dreamed of. I was being very selfish to him, like I was throwing it all back in his face because it wasn't good enough - I wanted more.
So, I have taken a big step back and looked at what I have, a gorgeous little girl and a wonderful partner who loves us both to bits. I'm looking forward to some wonderful times ahead, just the three of us!!!
It's going to be hard when the mum's that I have made friends with tell me that they are expecting again, but I will have to kick myself up the bottom and tell myself just how lucky I am!!
Anyway, enough of my waffle!!!!!!! Katelyn's woken from her nap, best go !!
I know how you gilrs are feeling. I've just come back from my friends sisters - she's just home after having a little boy last week and he is so gorgeous. I feel really broody now. Jay and I are of the fasion that we will keep trying but if nothing happens, we are not going to go back down the treatment route. My friend has just been on at me though saying it isn't fair just to have one baby and that Jessica needs a brother or a sister. When I explained that we will try and see if anything happens naturally but don't want to go back on a waiting list for another 4 years, she said that we should forget trying naturally and use any savings we had to go straight for IVF.
It's very tempting. I think we will give trying another year and then reconsider if nothing happens. The same friend did say that she thinks we will conceive straight away this time as my 'body clock and system' will have fallen into place now we have had Jessica. It would be lovely if she is right but it just took my back to all those useless bits of advice and reassurance we got before I was pregnant - you know the sort of thing I mean....if you stop worrying it will happen and all that sort of stuff.
Well, Jay is still off with a cold.
Jac - sorry to hear about your cold and the prospect of Jaqson getting chicken pox. Is Joe over his yet do you know? Sorry your feeling plop too. So far I'm the only one in the house that hasn't had this cold but I did wake up sweating last night - that was due to a nightmare I had. I've had a couple while Jessica has been poorley and isn't in with us anymore.
I'm struggling to get her meals into her now - she is definately developing a sweet tooth and is turing her nose up more and more at foods she used to love - not sure what to do now.
Anyway, his mum is knocking on the door - she has just brought Jessica back as she has her every Wednesday afternoon so I best clear off - I hear her tut when she sees me on the internet!!
I think the longing for a child is there with everyone who has been thru this IF lark. Wether you are already blessed with a child or waiting for your miracle to happen, the longing for a child will always be there, its natural. I dont think anyone can say we're ungratefull when its our natural urge to reproduce.....at least I hope not anyway
Its a very fine line we walk with IF. Knowing what you can & can't say. Does anyone know what I mean when I say I grieve for the baby I could never have naturally? I know I am so totaly blessed with Millie but there is always a but ??
I have a baby friend from post-natel who was an only child and keeps telling me how she "hated growing up being on her own, she felt so lonely and hated weekends" Now I am just gutted cos I think what if Millie feels like that when she is 30 ??
Feeling really down at the moment over things, thinking something bad's going to happen etc etc etc..... you know the drill ! Missing Millie when she is only upstairs in bed, already worrying I did'nt cuddle her enough when she was a baby (she hated being cuddled) and if I should go there are not enough pictures of me & her together...... Don't know whats wrong with me this week.
Anyway, hello to all my friends, hope your all well
Ps......maybe I am so happy that it is that that is worrying me
Just me popping on by and butting in to send all you mummies massive big hugs. It sounds like you have all been having a good old natter and it has brought some confusing feelings to the surface for a few of you. So, for what it's worth, I'm going to stick my nose in and tell you all what I think.
First ....... I think that you are all, with out exception, absolutely wonderful mothers to your precious gorgeous babies. Your babies already know this ...... look at how happy and content they all are!!! (And I know they all have their moments ... but hey, at 34 years old I still have mine!)
Not for one moment do I think that any of you are ungrateful for the hand that you have been dealt and the children you have. If anything, I think that when you have suffered the pain of infertility, it makes you appreciate even more what you actually have. No-one would criticise anyone who had conceived easily/naturally for wanting another child .... you are no different!
I think it is perfectly normal for you all to yearn for a sibling for your children. I don't think that there is anything wrong about that all ... infact I think that it is perfectly natural. And, it doesn't mean you aren't happy with what you've got.
To have another child, by whatever means, is your choice. It's your individual choice and there is no right and no wrong answers. What I do know though is that you will all make the indiviudal choice that is right for you and your families ... you are all made of strong stuff and you will make the right decisions.
Finally ..... To my buddy Amanda .... hey mate I am sending huge amounts of love and masses of cuddles to you. You are a wonderful mum to Millie and have always done the best for her ... and that has included not smothering her in cuddles when she hasn't wanted them. As for photos ... well apart from the fact that nothing is going to happen to you ... Millie would never forget her mummy and all the best memories are in thoughts and not on paper.
Love and Hugs to you all ... remember you are all great!!!!!
Aww Amanda - ^cuddleup^. I do know exactly where you are coming from though - everything you say in your post. I get all panicky from time to time about what if something were to happen to me or even worse to Iestyn - he is my life, my whole reason for being here, he makes me feel so warm and loved and melts me.
Jac, I know what you mean too, worrying about how others still to realise their dreams must perseve us mums wanting more, wanting another little miracle. That said though - I do not feel guilty for wanting to give Iestyn a little brother or sister as not a moment goes by, when I don't realise how lucky and how blessed I am to have been given Iestyn and I will never never belittle that and I also know that to provide him with a Sibling is still not going to be an easy ride, that there are more tough times ahead.
Thanks for the link on travelling with bubbs!
Sorry to hear you have a stinking cold - I do too! I've had it for about a week now and feel really grot with it. The coughing is the most annoying part.
Angie - lets hope your friend is right when she says you wont have probs conceiving again!
I'm off for an early night - meeting SueL in Southampton tomorrow, so best get plotting my route and then off to bed.
Thank you so much. You have made me cry in a happy way as you have a brillant way of putting things into perspective and making me see sense You are a true friend and I am sorry I have been such a poop one lately, dont know what up with me but feel very quiet for some reason. Will chat very soon so you can sort me out
With all OUR love to you & Toot
Amanda & Millie xxxx
Ps..glad to see you are feeling a little better today thanks again xxx
I just wanted to add to the conversation on only children as I am one myself, plus I am a fertility baby.
My parents had me via fertility treatment (tablets which were the forerunner to clomid not IVF as I am now 34 years old).
I cant remember how old I was when my parents told me why I was an only child. I do know that they explained to me how long they had tried for, the heartache of thinking they would never be parents, how they felt as family and friends all conceived easily around them.
My mum told me that they saw themselves as being so very lucky because they were on the original trials in this country - there was no private treatment even if they could have afforded it. They knew from the start they had 2 tries only - and on the second one - they got me!!!!!! It was because of the treatment that I was born in central London and my mum's consultant flew in from holiday in scotland by helicoptor as I was his first fertility baby and he wanted to deliver me himself.
As it was mum nearly died - I was 4 days old when she first saw me.
The point I am trying to make is that they always made me feel special. Although I had no siblings I knew how hard it had been and how wanted I was - something that my friends never had. I grew up close to my cousins which helped but I never felt that I missed out.
Our house was an open house - friends always welcome so I never felt like I missed out. I can remember being so amazed when seeing friends fighting with their siblings. I also got to do loads of things that my friends didnt because at the end of the day mum and dad had x amount of money and that didnt have to be shared out. In senior school I went on the school trip every year when most of my friends had to choose 1 year - I did a great activity week, french exchange trip, skiing, cruise round the med. I also had loads of hobbies - these things all cost money and I see myself being fortunate to be an only child.
I also have an unbelievably strong bond with my parents.
As you can imagine - when we had trouble conceiving - my parents actually knew what we were going through which was a great help. As it turned out my problems were completely different to my mum so there was nothing heriditary there for me to worry about for Jasmine - Just double bad luck!!!!
I hope this helps - Jasmine will probably be our only child as we wont be trying any more treatment and I just hope she is as happy as I was - I will try my best to make that happen.
All our wonderful children are so special - and letting them know that is just part of it all.
I have got to get this off my chest
I am sobbing here dont think i can cope for much longer.
My little Angel maybe seriosly ill,
Its looking like hirchsprungs syndrone more and more.
The team of doctors are having a meeting on the 20th regarding only Hannah,that to me spells something not good.
From that meeting they will tell me if i can try and procede with weaning again I am feeding her every 3 hours day&night again and expressing to bulk up the feed as i can only get 5 oz of one breast. As Hannah wont feed from the other so i have to express.
They wont fax the histology results to my doctor as the consultant want to see us personaly.
I am at my wits end
Sorry to see you going through such a bad time. Why do they have to wait till the 20th & make you go through such an agonizing wait Have they told you what might have to be done to help Hannah at all?? I have sent you an IM, hope you don't mind.
Thinking of you.
What a terrible time you are having - I'm not surprised you are at your wits end. As Woppa has said we'll all be praying for you and hoping that you get some answers soon and that they can do something to help you.