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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
J paeds appointment

We discussed his awful sleep, unwilling to sleep without his daddy. That we need a harness for him to use in public if I'm on my own as I can't use the SEN buggy with all 3 boys. That a blue badge was refused even after appeal.

His consultant said she'd sort all these issues for us.

We have arranged bloods to check for his vitamin intake and for genetic testing.

We are going on holiday next month. It's an exciting but also worrying time as I've no idea how j will cope. He didn't last time. Vanish moose at the ready...

I'm 14 weeks now. Did the nuchal testing as I'm now 40 and all was fine. Consultants in June to discuss c section and sterilisation at the same time. I need permanent closure as my head is a mess. Gender scan in 3 weeks.

 

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Discussion Starter · #22 ·
So the fantastic news! J got a place at our preferred SEN school  ^banana^ ^clapping^ so excited for him. It has a sensory room, a pool, soft play plus it's only 80 pupils  :) I'm worried about how he will cope with the change but it has to happen. So we start transition next month.

16 weeks and felt baby kick last night  :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #23 ·
God I hate childhood illness! I had to call 999 for G yet again on Sunday night. I thought he was having a febrile but it turns out it was a rigor. So bloody frightening! He has a viral infection and his body doesn't cope with the high temperatures. It's horrific to witness. My nerves are on edge more than ever. I love my boys so much. I'm terrified to take my eyes off them.

X
 

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Discussion Starter · #24 ·
We had a gender scan yesterday.



^itsagirl^ ^jumpin^ ^banana^ ^clapping^ ^pinkted^ ^rainbow^ ^cloud9^ ^storkgirl^ ^pompom^
 

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Discussion Starter · #25 ·
I forgot to note that O is now no longer breast feeding and sleeps through the night!! He still only has 4 teeth at 15 months old. What's that about?

I have an anterior placenta. I'm 18+1 and was really worried I'd not feel any mo cements so I text my midwife. She was lovely and Said she would come out and take a listen. It took her 10 minutes to find it  :eek: I as panicking so much. But she's tucked away in my pelvis. Feels weird not to feel any kicks or movements. 20 week scan when we are back off holiday.

Holiday in a weeks time. I'm so not ready  ::)
 

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Discussion Starter · #26 ·
Holiday was a success!  ^holiday^ ^sunny^

None of the boys got ill, we didn't have to visit the local hospital and the sun shone with NO rain!  :)

Baby girl has been kicking more this week and felt it on the outside. Such a relief.

Scan in Tuesday when I will be 21+1.

Back to reality today  :'(

 

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Discussion Starter · #27 ·
20 week scan went well. She's a small little thing  :) measuring well in all that they check. Saw her tiny foot and toes  :) can't wait to meet her  :)

Back to nursery for 2 of the boys tomorrow. Looking forward to getting routine back. Starting the PUFFIN course on Friday. Looking forward to that.

 

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Discussion Starter · #28 ·
So update of ages

T is 20
J is 4 1/2
G is 3 and 4 months
O is 17 months

Life is never boring in my house. These boys keep me on my toes. Been doing the PUFFIN course for 5 weeks now. Very interesting and lots to remember.
This heat is killing me! I'm nearly 27 weeks and I've got swollen feet. Lots of kicking from baby which is lovely.

My j last 2 weeks at nursery. It's come around so quickly.

O is talking so well and is a little version of G.

Roll on autumn  ;D
 

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Discussion Starter · #29 ·
So the last few weeks have been filing in the dreaded DLA renewal forms. Very depressing writing negative stuff about your child. He's 5 in December  :eek: the time has certainly flown by. He's still in nappies, still non verbal, still needs his an buggy or harness as he has no danger awareness. He is such a happy not though and giggles so much.
Picked his uniform up, 2 jumpers and 5 polo shirts with the school logo on £63 lighter  :eek: that's before shoes and joggers... No Aldi or lidl cheapies allowed for us  ^bigbad^
So the forms have been sent along with EHCP,  consultants reports, etc to support our claim. Now we wait...

So all 3 boys have been ill. G started with tonsilitis. Then J cane down with a 48 hour bug. Then o got a high temperature and we discovered he's got a large back tooth!

Washed all the baby girl clothes yesterday. Ready to pack my hospital bag. I'm nearly 29 weeks. I'm really struggling in this heat. My ankles swell. I'm irritable. Looking forward to meeting our baby girl  :)

Roll on autumn  ;D
 

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Discussion Starter · #30 ·
I'm having a baby next month  :eek:

Have a hospital appointment in 3 weeks to discuss mode of birth midwife to discuss a c section. My first after 4 natural births.

G is due his MMR booster from next week. To say I'm anxious is an understatement. His unpredictable temperatures and seizures are scary.

O has 10 teeth now! He's a fiery 18 month old who chatters loads.

J is not enjoying the summer holidays. His misses the routine of nursery. He was outside running around the garden in just his nappy at 7.30am today. He needed to run it off.

T is not talking to me. I discovered he is in 3k worth of debt aged 20 on my address. He moved out a year ago. I'm so cross with him. It's one thing after another. Just when I think he's turned a corner....

This relentless heat is just bloody awful! It's the longest summer I've ever experianced. If I had a pool, a maid, a cook, a cleaner and a nanny I'd be loving it. However, I am all of these and my god at 30 weeks pregnant it's torture.

Roll on Autumn!

O and we have Js school uniform! Surreal! My ICSI miracle is starting school  :eek: :'(
 

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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
34 weeks pregnant

Saw Mode of Birth midwife. Wanted a C section and to be sterilised. Explained my infertility, explained all my births, explained about needing closure on my fertility. Refused a C Section. I cried. The best she could suggest was induction. So that's the route I'm taking against my will. I need to have childcare in place. DH needs to be at home in the evening and through the night for ds2. So this is the only way. My anxiety is sky high. My mental health doesn't seem to matter as they are saving money by refusing.
So baby should be here 24th september.

Summer holidays are nearly at an end. I have really enjoyed it although it's been hard. The heat was fab but also a massive pain for me.

Time to get organised for s new baby, school and nursery x
 

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Discussion Starter · #32 ·
35 weeks pregnant

Had a check up yesterday and Baby gave us a scare. Midwife listened in and her heart rate was 175bpm which her usual is 150bpm. She did have hiccups and had been moving lots just before. So I was put on a monitor and had to click her movements. Well she moved 35 times in 25 minutes! I'm going to have my work cut out with this little girl went I?

G started nursery again yesterday. He was fine me leaving him and had a lovely time.  Monday it's J turn to start school. I'm not ready for this at all.
O speech is coming thick and fast! I can't believe how quick he picks things up. So proud.

T is being odd. I'm worried about him. He barely communicates with me so can't get to the bottom of it.

Gosh, so much to still get sorted in the next two weeks. It will fly by...
 

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Discussion Starter · #33 ·
I am a mummy of 5  :)

Baby Hannah was born yesterday at 5.30pm weighing a tiny 6lb 7oz

The induction process was as I expected and not pleasant. Neither was getting the epidural but was fab once it worked. I started contracting spontaneously after my waters were broke. So midwife decided no hormone drip. Well my contracts did nothing. Until the drip was put in at 1pm then I dilated to 4cm and we were in established labour.

Felt the pressure but no pain. Until it was ramped right up at 4. Dh had to go at 4.30pm due to bedtime routine. At 5 I felt pain right down the middle of my bump. With each contraction it got worse.
The midwife had to handover at 5. At 5.15 as she was handing over I felt this hideous pain in my pubic bone and was begging for help. The new midwife lifted my dead leg and said baby's head was there. With one push her head was born and the next push her body came. Straight onto my chest. Dh missed his only daughter being born  :'( he's so upset about it.

As births go it was the easiest. As Labour's go, it was my worst. Long drawn out slow process.

Bf is going well.  I'm shattered but so very happy xxxxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #34 ·
What?!..

So our health trust has not only stopped c sections but now sterilisation and vasectomy have been stopped too!! Dh take the courage  ::) to go to the doctors about getting the snip. To be told that they have been stopped due to no money?! So dh still pays into the system but we can't get anything that we need, back?

Told to have a coil. I don't want anything like that! I don't want hormone pills. I wanted a permanent solution. So looks like we will have to go private.

Hannah is almost 3 weeks old. She is so beautiful girl with a good scream on her  :eek:

Life is full on. It's amazing. It's so beyond my dreams. We are so lucky.

💙💙💙💙💖
 

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Discussion Starter · #35 ·
Baby H has already scared me with a hospital stay. Her finger looked odd a week after she was born. I asked the midwife and she said to keep an eye on it and I did. It got worse. Much worse that I rang 111 on a Saturday night and was sent to out of hours. Who sent us to hospital. Turns out she had an infection in it and it has pus. They squeezed the pus out. Had intravenous antibiotics.  It's still not better 2 weeks later so will be ringing the doctors tomorrow as antibiotics course finished a week ago.

One stress after another.
 

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Discussion Starter · #36 ·
My ICSI miracle is 5 on Friday. 5. Where the heck has that time gone?! He's doing so well at SEN school. He's communicating via PECs. Friday will be a calm birthday. No wrapping paper on his two things we have got for him. He can't cope with the noise.

Baby girl had another course of antibiotics after GP consulted with the hospital. I'm so paranoid I look at her finger all the time. She's 10 weeks old already!

O has been diagnosed as having my genetic marfans syndrome  :'( I got the call today. It's frightening and I'm upset for him. But it's s 50/50 gamble and we gambled 4 times and 1 has it. Also my oldest child has it. More things to worry about.

T has now got a room in supported housing. He's doing better. He will be spending Christmas with us.

Life is one massive worry for me and I'm really struggling to enjoy life. My children are my world. I worry constantly. I wish I could be more relaxed and be less stressed.
 

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Discussion Starter · #37 ·
It's 6 months since my last update, I apologise  ::)

Life is so hectic!! I'm so stressed but weirdly I keep telling myself that just remember my life 7 years ago and how bloody miserable I was. I will forever take the life I have now that's for sure.

So where are we at?

We gave just come back off holiday in paignton. So asd child decided that it was there he would poo smear and play with it. So that's fun  ::) Incontinence service won't help until another 6 months. Everything is a battle. Need a new car seat for him. That's £600. Awaiting charity funding to help towards it. He's doing great at school.

Oldest turns 21 in a couple of weeks. He's still struggling  :'(

Baby H is 8 months old. She us just gorgeous. I still can't believe I have a daughter.

G starts school in September! He's ready bless him. He's my little rock. He helps, he's caring and kind. He can also be a little sod but I'm so happy he's my son.

Little O is growing at a stupid rate! No word on the marfans  update or clinic.

Me? I'm aging faster than the speed of light. My periods are very regular (fertility and infertility loves to have a good laugh at you doesn't it) my marriage is almost 10 years in and I'm so glad he's my dh  :-*

Think that's about it for now...sorry it took so long to update x
 

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Discussion Starter · #38 ·
I'm so busy, updating this diary is difficult as I never find the time.

My ICSI miracle turns 6 tomorrow. The time has gone quickly. I thunk he might be aware something is happening. Tomorrow will tell us if he understands it's his birthday.

I love that boy to bits. He delights me daily with  how much he us picking up. I can't wait to see his face when he opens his SEN mirror. He loves looking at himself.

Anyway just a quick update

T us still awaiting being housed. He's not taking his meds so had another fit A few weeks ago. He causes me so much worry. He turns 22 in 6 months.

G is being a challenge now he had started school. He's a terror at home but a delight at school.

O is almost 3. He's amazing with his speech. He's clever and funny.

H is now 14 months and speaks lots. She has just learnt to walk. She's beautiful.

Me? I'm being treated for extreme anxiety. Health anxiety. Every day I stress about my kids. I need to sort myself out. I want to enjoy my children but all I feel is fear.

To anyone still reading, have a wonderful Christmas xx

 

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Discussion Starter · #39 ·
I must update my diary...
 

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Discussion Starter · #40 ·
T 22
J 7
G 5
O 3
H 2

So H and I had covid over Christmas. Was so frightening. H was so poorly over 3 days, vomiting, severe fatigue and high temperatures. I had fatigue and temperature with weird spells of a tight chest. All the boys seem to have avoided it for now.

So T has his own flat now. Has a job so things are far better now.

Life is weird. My mental health has certainly suffered. Same **** different year.

My children’s childhoods have drastically changed. No longer free to go out and do fun things.

 
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