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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So you can all keep contact without starting new threads thought this might be a good idea... ^hugme^
 

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Thank you!  Is there any way the thread can be made sticky?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Done x
 

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beachgirl said:
Thank you!

I don't know what to say now. Ummmm...
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
It's one way of just talking about anything, doesn't have to be treatment related...an open forum for you...
 

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;D MandyPandy - your post just made me laugh. Still feeling the pressure of finding something to say?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Good Morning, isn't it a lovely sunny day...well is it here anyhow...at home today so got all my jobs done and going to put on a film and relax now for the rest of the day..hope that you're all well.
 

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Nordickat said:
;D MandyPandy - your post just made me laugh. Still feeling the pressure of finding something to say?
;D

I couldn't handle the pressure anymore and just had to log off. :D

Anyway, onwards and upwards. We're due to start a new tx cycle hopefully in April or May. We're moving clinics to the ARGC and our first appointment is on 7th April. Until then, I'm just focusing on school work as I'm soooooo far behind (I'm studying law at uni and we have exams looming).

Beachgirl - not so sunny here today (North London). It's a bit grey and cold out. Meh.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Morning, nice and sunny here again today, off to see my friend for lunch...yummy...
 

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;D MandyPandy


I woke up to a blizzard!


I hope you had a lovely lunch Beachgirl and study hard this weekend MandyPandy
 

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Hello ladies,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post, but just need to get it out...

I have just completed my first cycle of IVF with CARE Manchester and it was a BFN for us. So sad. We had 7 eggs collected which I was really pleased about - but only one fertilised. Was so gutted when we got that call. We were so shocked at the poor fertilisation - during my first go I only got 5 eggs, but they all fertilised and 4 were 8 cell 'good quality' embryos. I had a miscarriage last time - but at my review appointment after this, the Consultant was really reassuring - telling he thought my ovaries responded really well and he thought we had a good chance of a pregnancy in the future. I just feel as if all my hope has been dashed and I can't believe I've had such a different result. Thought I was doing okay, but have woken up this morning feeling rotten - could cry all day. I thought I was getting my head around it - but each day feels so different. We have been trying for 3 and a half years now and the sadness is just eating me up. I know it will get better, but today is a bad day. Have been reading FF for a while now and it really helps. So hard to talk about this stuff to my friends, it's a lonely path sometimes.

 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Kay, so sorry to hear your news, big hugs, I agree it is hard sometimes to talk to friends who haven't been through a smiliar thing, do you have a follow up planned?
 

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hello beachgirl,

i haven't arranged a follow up yet - but will do soon. In a way, I almost want them to say stop - don't have any more treatment, which they may well do of course given my age and poor response this time.

Going through this is a bit like being in limbo isn't it?I know it will get better - but it's just horrible after a failed cycle. You try not to hope too much that it will work - given the odds etc but you just can't help it.

Thanks for responding, it's nice to know I can post here if I need to

Kay x
 

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Hi Kay,

I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles.  It is really, really disheartening.

I feel like I lead a double life - I talk to everyone on here to deal with the emotional side of things and I don't talk to my friends about any of it as they just don't understand, so I'm two different people a lot of the time.

In terms of your treatment, please don't give up at this point.  There are lots of things it could be.  Have you had all of the tests done for thyroid/karyotyping/immune issues?

I'm going to get everything done before we even think of moving ahead.  Oh, and we're also changing clinics due to the shocking mistreatment by the place I did my cycle with (and yep, we are private patients).  We're moving to the ARGC and that alone has given me so much hope where I thought there was none.

Hang in there.  ^hugme^ It's tough but I'm sure you will find the answers you need if you perservere.

I found that not only talking to people on here but also doing self hypnosis and relaxation exercises religiously helped me get through the treatment itself and researching relentlessly on here for reasons why it may not have worked has helped me keep positive afterwards.

...BUT I found the MOST important thing, was to know that it is fine to grieve.  Allow yourself to cry.  You don't always have to be strong and positive.  Life has thrown some real rubbish at all of us so it's no wonder we sometimes feel depressed.
 

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Kay  ^hugme^  I´m so sorry  :-* . Less eggs and embies this time doesn´t mean the same next time. My fertilization rate varies from  10-70% and its not getting less each time, its just random so don´t give up faith in your body just yet.  ^hugme^


MandyPandy - I´m with you on the double life thing ......... its quite exhausting  ^hugme^
 

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Hello Mandy and Nordickat,


Thanks for your responses - it's good to know I can say stuff here that I can't out loud! It is like a double life isn't it - lots of my friends know I am going through IVF and I have spoken about it on occasion - but generally don't. I have very supportive friends, but I think most of them don't know what to say - particularly my friends with children.


As for testing - yes we will discuss that with the clinic - I booked a review in a couple of weeks. I'll wait to see what they say. I'm not unhappy with my treatment there - although I have to say that being treated privately hasn't been much different to being treated within the NHS - they still don't answer the phone sometimes!


Hope that everyone is okay. I'm on annual leave this week so going to town today to give the credit card a bit of a work out.


Take care everyone


Kay x
 

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Happy shopping Kay  :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Evening, sorry not around yesterday, just bobbing on to say hello as off to wales on Thursday so lots to do, someone will be covering in my abscence so just shout if you need anything...back Monday x
 

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hi girls,
i hope you dont mind me jumping on your thread but i got a bfn today and just wanted to blow off some steam !!!

the double life thing is so true KAY, i can totally relate to that.

we have just had our 2nd icsi with pgd. the 1st tx got cancelled after the ec as i got ohss then we got a FET a few months later but none of the embies we suitable for bioposy (thats the pgd bit)so that was our 1st tx over.

our 2nd tx went really well, ec and et without a FET  ;D, (got ever so slightly mild ohss but bearable and they still done the et) we got 22 eggs on ec 14 were injected and 10 fertilized, only 2 were suitable for bioposy,1 came back abnormal and 1 normal so we got a et with our 1 wee embie. my OTD was today,22nd march but i started bleeding  last nite and the blood test came back negative today so here am i feeling like ive been hit by a bus and wondering why life can be so cruel to us :'( :'( :'(

i know i will get through it but it feels like ive just lost someone close, i have that horrid sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach which im sure is normal.

im trying to think positive by convincing myself that by having this period that my body will be clearing itself of all those horrible drugs we have to take and i can get back to feeling like me again.(if thats at all possible)

phew sorry for the very depressing post, im going to go to bed and hopefully wake in the morning feeling refreshed and more positive.
thanks for taking the time to read
michellex
 

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hello Michelle,


hope you do feel better today x
 
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