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Hi there beautiful people ...in this messy boat...help..... ive lost my paddle

I am reaching out to get some support and to give support to anyone in my position right now .....I think i have worn out my friends already with my baby talk.

I was just waiting for the right guy to come along and wanted to be stable financially . Well it turns out im there , got the guy (quite recently) and financially sound but boom im 43. So with those two achievements, off I popped with dread to get some tests done , as I started to research options to help speed up pregnancy (conscious of my age) to be met with the stats that make you crumble . I had the basic tests done and have an AMH of 0.5 with 5 possibly 6 follicles . I have researched the life out of the internet over the past couple of months and understand mild if not very mild intervention of modified natural IVf is probably the best route for me . So ive booked in to create in Leeds to have a consultation and scan (which i already know my results so its wont be new news)

I just cant believe im here at 43 . I just thought it would just happen one day and it did but then my age seems to have stacked up without realising , unbelievable i know . ( why oh why didnt i freeze eggs! )

I am just so overwhelmed and in grief before ive even begun any treatment as I feel like with the odds being so low i am on the gritty north face of being childless which i never imagined i would ever be in this position . We have been trying naturally for a few months and already suffering the TWW and period arrival and the monitoring of symptoms wondering if its preganancy sign etc etc etc . Its driving me nuts. I cant seem to get off the page of it , its obsessive . I need to look after my well being and this is really stressing me to an incredible level.

I feel like i am in the place where i should try once on the natural modified IVF route due to my age , and not blow all of my savings, and keep trying naturally and then if that doesnt work to then consider donor egg. I just cant give up on the hope of a biological child so im so not on the page of a DE just yet . Please help anyone and how to deal with the emotional roller coaster and the grief .

I need positive vibes as my own vibes are just so negative and grief like and everything i probably shouldnt be .

xx hugs to anyone going through this right now with age as a massive hinderance/diminshed hope due to egg quality. In fact the biggest hugs ive ever given right now as this is awful . Off to the gym tonight to try and get some endorphins in . xx

Any advice would be appreciated , even just knowing im not on my own in this, is there anyone else like me ?
 

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Hi, I will be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for a positive outcome. x
 

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Hi there beautiful people ...in this messy boat...help..... ive lost my paddle

I am reaching out to get some support and to give support to anyone in my position right now .....I think i have worn out my friends already with my baby talk.

I was just waiting for the right guy to come along and wanted to be stable financially . Well it turns out im there , got the guy (quite recently) and financially sound but boom im 43. So with those two achievements, off I popped with dread to get some tests done , as I started to research options to help speed up pregnancy (conscious of my age) to be met with the stats that make you crumble . I had the basic tests done and have an AMH of 0.5 with 5 possibly 6 follicles . I have researched the life out of the internet over the past couple of months and understand mild if not very mild intervention of modified natural IVf is probably the best route for me . So ive booked in to create in Leeds to have a consultation and scan (which i already know my results so its wont be new news)

I just cant believe im here at 43 . I just thought it would just happen one day and it did but then my age seems to have stacked up without realising , unbelievable i know . ( why oh why didnt i freeze eggs! )

I am just so overwhelmed and in grief before ive even begun any treatment as I feel like with the odds being so low i am on the gritty north face of being childless which i never imagined i would ever be in this position . We have been trying naturally for a few months and already suffering the TWW and period arrival and the monitoring of symptoms wondering if its preganancy sign etc etc etc . Its driving me nuts. I cant seem to get off the page of it , its obsessive . I need to look after my well being and this is really stressing me to an incredible level.

I feel like i am in the place where i should try once on the natural modified IVF route due to my age , and not blow all of my savings, and keep trying naturally and then if that doesnt work to then consider donor egg. I just cant give up on the hope of a biological child so im so not on the page of a DE just yet . Please help anyone and how to deal with the emotional roller coaster and the grief .

I need positive vibes as my own vibes are just so negative and grief like and everything i probably shouldnt be .

xx hugs to anyone going through this right now with age as a massive hinderance/diminshed hope due to egg quality. In fact the biggest hugs ive ever given right now as this is awful . Off to the gym tonight to try and get some endorphins in . xx

Any advice would be appreciated , even just knowing im not on my own in this, is there anyone else like me ?
Huge hugs to you too Philippa. I'm sorry that you're here too.. but selfishly glad I'm not all alone. 💛
 

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My post may be insignificant, but please hang in there. We tried for two years to get pregnant naturally, but that did not work. Then had multiple failed IUI's. That failed too. Finally we paid a ton and got an IVF. Due to the low AMH levels(0.8 I think), we were able to recover only 6 follicles. 5 went through the blastocyst stage. 3 stopped multiplying day 1. Only 1 made it to day four and then stopped. So IVF failed. Doctor said that we had less than a 1% change to get pregnant via IVF or natural given certain medical conditions. Given these low numbers, we thought that was the end. So we started relaxing, having a couple of drinks, exercising etc before giving it one final shot via IVF and then perhaps take the donor route. Then a miracle happened. We got pregnant naturally and eventually now have a healthy baby boy. The doctors had no explanation to what happened. So hang in there and this will work out. The thing is that all this needs to work is one good egg. Just that one magic moment. So relax. Everything will be alright.
 

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Well Philippa, I’ve just tried a clomid freezing cycle and, although there was one lonely follicle, there was nothing there to collect.
I’m going to try a natural cycle in Jan and have just done PRP but the clinic told me it would be a miracle for it to work.
I am devastated. Can’t stop crying. I just think of the little person that’s genetically mine that I’m never going to get to meet and it makes me so sad.
Hope you’re finding your way through this. It is awful.
 

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My post may be insignificant, but please hang in there. We tried for two years to get pregnant naturally, but that did not work. Then had multiple failed IUI's. That failed too. Finally we paid a ton and got an IVF. Due to the low AMH levels(0.8 I think), we were able to recover only 6 follicles. 5 went through the blastocyst stage. 3 stopped multiplying day 1. Only 1 made it to day four and then stopped. So IVF failed. Doctor said that we had less than a 1% change to get pregnant via IVF or natural given certain medical conditions. Given these low numbers, we thought that was the end. So we started relaxing, having a couple of drinks, exercising etc before giving it one final shot via IVF and then perhaps take the donor route. Then a miracle happened. We got pregnant naturally and eventually now have a healthy baby boy. The doctors had no explanation to what happened. So hang in there and this will work out. The thing is that all this needs to work is one good egg. Just that one magic moment. So relax. Everything will be alright.
This is just amazing to hear x
 

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Well Philippa, I’ve just tried a clomid freezing cycle and, although there was one lonely follicle, there was nothing there to collect.
I’m going to try a natural cycle in Jan and have just done PRP but the clinic told me it would be a miracle for it to work.
I am devastated. Can’t stop crying. I just think of the little person that’s genetically mine that I’m never going to get to meet and it makes me so sad.
Hope you’re finding your way through this. It is awful.
I feel exactly the same…. On my second failure ICSI, no heartbeat and only 1 egg both times :(
 

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Hi there beautiful people ...in this messy boat...help..... ive lost my paddle

I am reaching out to get some support and to give support to anyone in my position right now .....I think i have worn out my friends already with my baby talk.

I was just waiting for the right guy to come along and wanted to be stable financially . Well it turns out im there , got the guy (quite recently) and financially sound but boom im 43. So with those two achievements, off I popped with dread to get some tests done , as I started to research options to help speed up pregnancy (conscious of my age) to be met with the stats that make you crumble . I had the basic tests done and have an AMH of 0.5 with 5 possibly 6 follicles . I have researched the life out of the internet over the past couple of months and understand mild if not very mild intervention of modified natural IVf is probably the best route for me . So ive booked in to create in Leeds to have a consultation and scan (which i already know my results so its wont be new news)

I just cant believe im here at 43 . I just thought it would just happen one day and it did but then my age seems to have stacked up without realising , unbelievable i know . ( why oh why didnt i freeze eggs! )

I am just so overwhelmed and in grief before ive even begun any treatment as I feel like with the odds being so low i am on the gritty north face of being childless which i never imagined i would ever be in this position . We have been trying naturally for a few months and already suffering the TWW and period arrival and the monitoring of symptoms wondering if its preganancy sign etc etc etc . Its driving me nuts. I cant seem to get off the page of it , its obsessive . I need to look after my well being and this is really stressing me to an incredible level.

I feel like i am in the place where i should try once on the natural modified IVF route due to my age , and not blow all of my savings, and keep trying naturally and then if that doesnt work to then consider donor egg. I just cant give up on the hope of a biological child so im so not on the page of a DE just yet . Please help anyone and how to deal with the emotional roller coaster and the grief .

I need positive vibes as my own vibes are just so negative and grief like and everything i probably shouldnt be .

xx hugs to anyone going through this right now with age as a massive hinderance/diminshed hope due to egg quality. In fact the biggest hugs ive ever given right now as this is awful . Off to the gym tonight to try and get some endorphins in . xx

Any advice would be appreciated , even just knowing im not on my own in this, is there anyone else like me ?
Hi Philippa,

What you're going through is excruciating. Some find the right person and circumstances for starting a family in their 20s but so many more when we're past our fertility prime.

I wouldn't best yourself up about freezing your eggs. Doing that alone would be really lonely and traumatic. Plus it creates huge emotional pressure if you didn't find the right guy. Do you become a single mum? Do you go through IVF by yourself? etc

We started trying 6 years ago when I was 34. Thankfully first round of IVF worked and I have a son. I've subsequently done 4 more rounds trying desperately to give my son a sibling. We have no family nearby so it felt important to create a bigger family network for him.
However, my last and final round failed. My egg quality is just not good enough. In my last cycle no embryos survived for transfer so we paid extra for icis. I don't have the money or energy to go again. I'm just devastated and actually a bit guilty that I didn't just go down the donor egg route. I'd love to have another child for all the maternity clothes, baby toys, clothes, books I've squirrelled away for the last 3 years. Feels like Ive been expecting this baby that will never arrive.

IVF is such a excruciating road if your egg quality is poor. I know what I would do again but it's taken 4 failed cycles to get here

Best of luck,
L xx
Ps it's completely understand able that you're grieving. There's so much loss in this process
 

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Hi there beautiful people ...in this messy boat...help..... ive lost my paddle

I am reaching out to get some support and to give support to anyone in my position right now .....I think i have worn out my friends already with my baby talk.

I was just waiting for the right guy to come along and wanted to be stable financially . Well it turns out im there , got the guy (quite recently) and financially sound but boom im 43. So with those two achievements, off I popped with dread to get some tests done , as I started to research options to help speed up pregnancy (conscious of my age) to be met with the stats that make you crumble . I had the basic tests done and have an AMH of 0.5 with 5 possibly 6 follicles . I have researched the life out of the internet over the past couple of months and understand mild if not very mild intervention of modified natural IVf is probably the best route for me . So ive booked in to create in Leeds to have a consultation and scan (which i already know my results so its wont be new news)

I just cant believe im here at 43 . I just thought it would just happen one day and it did but then my age seems to have stacked up without realising , unbelievable i know . ( why oh why didnt i freeze eggs! )

I am just so overwhelmed and in grief before ive even begun any treatment as I feel like with the odds being so low i am on the gritty north face of being childless which i never imagined i would ever be in this position . We have been trying naturally for a few months and already suffering the TWW and period arrival and the monitoring of symptoms wondering if its preganancy sign etc etc etc . Its driving me nuts. I cant seem to get off the page of it , its obsessive . I need to look after my well being and this is really stressing me to an incredible level.

I feel like i am in the place where i should try once on the natural modified IVF route due to my age , and not blow all of my savings, and keep trying naturally and then if that doesnt work to then consider donor egg. I just cant give up on the hope of a biological child so im so not on the page of a DE just yet . Please help anyone and how to deal with the emotional roller coaster and the grief .

I need positive vibes as my own vibes are just so negative and grief like and everything i probably shouldnt be .

xx hugs to anyone going through this right now with age as a massive hinderance/diminshed hope due to egg quality. In fact the biggest hugs ive ever given right now as this is awful . Off to the gym tonight to try and get some endorphins in . xx

Any advice would be appreciated , even just knowing im not on my own in this, is there anyone else like me ?
I hear ya! I’m going through the exact same thing at the minute - finally found the right person to settle down with and start a family only to get too told it’s too late.. it’s soul destroying! Our 1 and only chance of funded treatment got cancelled just before retrieval as they could only find one follicle! I’ve had to take time off work as I just can’t concentrate or think about anything else, the thought of never being a mum is just consuming me 💔 I’m so sorry you are going through this too! Sending you big hugs. Nicky xXx
 
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