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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi  :(
I have been pushed around for four yeears now, being fobbed off with 'it's stress' in reference to my hot flushes. The blood tests they've done each time have been randomply timed & now I've finally learned more. I turned 40 in Feb and have POF, apparently. I've been trying for a baby for 6 months but don't have many periods. Today i had an antrafollicle at the nuffield (£120) but might have to go back as they couldn't see one ovary (do I have to pay again?). I also got a voicemail today from the hospital (NHS) saying my FSH was 13.7 "but that probably doesn't mean much, so call me back" which I did, and ALL I CAN GET IS THE ANSWERPHONE! So, apparently something in my scan wasn't as thick as it should be....my ovary was smaller than it should be and there were about 5 follicles, which is less than it should be, at my age....Has anyone been in the same place and managed to conceive or have their own biological child with IVF help? Any help or advice greatly appreciated as I'm really low & feel so unsupported. Thanks x
 

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hi the dot. I'm so sorry to hear your troubles. Wish I could help more. All I can say is that it ain't over till the .... blah blah.
Have you tried any ivf before??? Have you any children already?
Have you heard about an amh test? This tests your egg reserve and is a good test, but is not a definitive answer to whether you can conceive or not.
I am 39 and after a very very long time trying 7 ivfs am now trying DIUI (donor sperm). My FSH over the last year has been recorded at 11 odd.
I think yours is about normal but sure you can find out on here somewhere.
Re: your tests at the NHS can you maybe go down there to get someone's attention.
As for your other questions, can't help a lot as I've not know someone with your various finds.
Good luck though and I hope you start getting somewhere soon.
H xxx

 

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Hello the dot

I've moved your post to here where somebody will be along to give you some links to relevant threads.  ;)

Welcome to FF and good luck with your plans

Emma  :)
 

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Hello the dot, welcome to Fertility Friends. :)

I am sorry you ahve been givent he runaround a bt over the last 4 years. It is good to see they are finally looking at your situation and taking thing seriosuly now.

The "something" not being as thick as it should is, I imagine your uterine lining, which thickens during your cycle to be ready to implant an baby. Right after your period it is thin - about 3 or 4 mm and thickens to 12mm or more at the time of ovulation (and egg collection for IVF purposes) and then, of course if you don't conceive it is shed in a period. If you are not having regular periods and your lining not as thick it should be then this would make conception difficult as the fertilised egg would have nowhere good to implant. With luck you might just be a slow repsonder and things will plump up in time. Your FSH is slightly higher than what is considered normal - for IVF purposes most clinics count 10 or below as a good result - this is depending on the blood test being done between day 1 ro 5 of your menstrual cycle. It's not hideously high though and we've had ladies on FF have very high levels but, in a nutshell, the higher your FAH the harder your body is havign to work to make your eggs mature and be released so, yes, it could be a sign of the onset of menopause. A decentish clinci would certainly be able to work with an FSH of 13 and get a reasonable number of eggs if you had IVF - ok, you'll never get in the 20s but with the right drug regime you should get enough to have a fighting chance. Some clinics are better at getting a good response in difficult circumstances than others though.

There are also a number of things you could try to boost your own drug response:

What can improve egg quality and quantity ~ CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. You will fnd a thread, usually with a funny/inspiring name for this year's buddies. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

Cycle buddies ~ CLICK HERE

And don't forget to have a bit of fun while you are on FF and check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie night in the chat room every week (Wednesday at 8pm), where you can meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here. CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the Location boards. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lost of luck! ^reiki^

C~x
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hi All, thanks lots for this, just found my post, it's a little hard to find your way around as a newbie!

I'll try & add the pink bit at the bottom soon....I have no children and am 40. I've never had any IVF or fertility treatment as I'm with the first man in my life who actually wants children!

Have to go to work now so will check back later. thank you xxx
 

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In that case check out the complimetary therpaies section as I know on there there are some suggestions on how you can ooost your natural fertlity.

Complimentary Therapies ~ CLICK HERE

And also the over 40s board:

TTC over 40 ~ CLICK HERE

To add the pink bit at the bottom "your signature) you need to go into your profile and edit it. There's a user guide on the technical boards here:

Technical Support Guides ~ CLICK HERE

If you get stuck, shout help and I'll try and talk you through it.

Good luck!

C~x
 

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Hi there

^hugme^ I'm sorry to hear the trouble you've had so far with your quest to become pregnant! I guess we all seem to have a story or two of either being fobbed off, or being given results of tests that we don't understand as staff cant be bothered. My dp has had a s/a and when we phoned the gp for the results the nurse said they 'seemed' o.k., the doctor said they were terrrible and the hospital said they were 'o.k. So here we are 2 months on - and none the wiser  :mad:  We're going for our first ivf consultation next week, self funding as i'm 41, dp and i have no children. I've had some bloods done by local hospital following my laparoscopy this year, and the only way i know what they all mean is because i searched on this website - not sure what i would have done without it. At least i feel i have enough knowledge to go to my appt next week and a list of questions a mile long! (have to get my money's worth as its costing £150!  ;D ) I've had my day 3 \ fsh level checked and it was 6.8, however, i am going to ask about the amh test as i don't think they did this test at the local hosp  :-\  I thought once you had your fsh level tested, that was the level it would always be  ^idiot^ but i know from threads i've read on the FF site, it can vary quite a bit (going up and down!) So try not to be too disheartened  ^reiki^

I hope by now you've managed to get the answers you wanted from the clinic,  ^bigbad^ it's so very frustrating but try and hang in there - us old gals are made of strong stuff!

Take care

Moth x
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hi Moth,
Thanks for writing...Good luck with your IVF consultation next week  :) I hope you get lots of answers. Are you going to try with your own eggs?

I've had a little more news, but actually am really really wound up now... :mad: Apparently, because they could only see one ovary, the doc said she'd refer to my previous scan & see if she could get the info there....well ( rant coming up, you'd better put the kettle on!) the info on the other scan helped her get the required info, which it would seem is great...problem is, the first scan was free & the second cost £161! I was told by the nurse that referred me that it was going to be £120 so the bill was a real shock. Like you I have to self-fund now as I'm 40 (even though I've been telling the docs for 4 years about my terrible flushes and they've never tested my FSH on day two and so never got a clear reading, and just fobbed me off with 'its stress'!!!) Anyway, I get the scan results on Tues if I phone ( otherwise they expect me to wait until my consultant appointment in June!!) From what I know so far, it's pretty unlikely that I can have a child of my own, I'd need IVF with lots of drugs. It's all terribly devastating. What makes it worse is the health service. The first consultant said the scan he'd refer me for would give me info about my egg situation. I went for that one on the NHS, got all psyched up & had a half day off with my DP and went along for the news, only to be told that that scan only picked up stuff like sists and fibroids (both which I have small ones of) SO I then had to get the second scan, which I 've just gone on about, and the results were taken from the first one after all! I kind of feel I'm being used as a money-making device!  :mad: Anyway, rant over, good luck for you next week.
Take care,

The Dot x
 

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Hi Dot (hope i can call you that, it's a bit easier withouth the 'THE'!)

I'm really not surprised you had a rant  ^bigbad^ sometimes, it just makes me so mad! I know we have to pay, and i've resigned myself to the fact that even though it's loads of money, it's more than worth it when you may be lucky enough to have a baby  ^reiki^  however, we all still have to live our day to day lives and not many of us are lucky enough (or sensible enough!) to have a stash of savings to use for ivf. So, like you, it really annoys me when people are so blasé about tests that are expensive - every penny counts doesn't it. That's my rant over with too  ;D What sort of scan did you have? Was it the 'inny' or the 'outy'  ;D I've only had the 'outy' so far!

Be glad to get the appointment over with next week, to be honest, haven't thought about not using my eggs (if there are any left!) don't think i could go down the donor route as my dp doesn't seem keen on this. But, we'll wait and see what they say first.  :-\ I'm bracing myself for the worst to try stop myself feeling really upset, have booked the day off as i don't think i'll feel like facing people after the appt, especially as only one person at work knows the situation.

Anyway, good luck with the results on tues. PM me if you want, otherwise i'll let you know what they've told me and whether i'm past by sell by date!  ;D (shouldn't joke i know, but it helps me stay sane)

Take care

Moth x






 

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Hi The dot and welcome to the site :)

You have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support.

Im really sorry to read of what you are going through and you feel angry about how you are being treated - i think i would as well! Its not fair when you get ignored at what sypmtons you were having then having so many problems with contacting the clinic about results etc. The girls have given you some great advice and some great links to try out. I cant help you as not been in your position but i just really wanted to wish you some luck with everything that is happening and hope the future works out well for you :)

Kate xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks for the lovely replies...Just thought I'd pop in to check & update...

The secretary who received my results a week ago tomorrow, was on holiday until last Thurs & hasn't returned my call (when i left a voicemail asking for my results)....typical it seems... ^bigbad^

I'm becoming more resigned (tentatively) to not getting anywhere with being a mother...I'm having serious discussions with my partner about whether we are right for one another too...there has always bee a little doubt both ways, even though we both feel a lot for each other. I guess if I'm going to go for IVF it's got to be with Mr Right, and as I'm frantically runnig out of time, and my relaitionship isn't rock solid, it seems my chance is going to pass me by  :(. I don't know if I could go it alone as a parent....I think a child need two incomes and I can't figure who'd pay my mortgage in the first year or two!

So there you have it...possibly single and childless & 40 with rediculous hot flushes at present! But we just keep on going don't we.... ^reiki^

T'Dot xx
 

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the dot -  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ - what a difficult time you are having....

I just wanted to say don't give up on your dream of becoming a mother if it's what you really really want - of course it won't be easy and those financial concerns are of course very real, but sometimes there are solutions you just haven't thought of....

Maybe you could come and check out the Single Girls thread - we're all going it alone (and range from people just thinking about it, through to those mid way through tx, right the way to bumps and babies) - you might be inspired  :)

Or then again, you might decide we're all completely mad  ;D ....but at least it might help your thought process

Of course I really hope that your relationship succeeds and you are able to start trying for a baby with your partner, but just wanted to say that we're here if you'd like to get a view on ttc as a single person,

Wishing you all the very best with everything,
Laura
x
 

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Hi Dot,
I'm sorry to hear you are all gloomy :-\ I know from personal experience how difficult it is hearing that you may be approaching that perimenopausal time and haven't managed to get a baby in there yet!  I'm in Bristol and recently got the same news.  My mum started her menopause at 40, and I'm 39 in a few months.  We only got married last year to make it official for when we conceived.  We never thought it would be difficult.
I have the same levels of FSH as you (they should test from day 1-5 of the cycle) and that's not so high apparantly.  Women have conceived with that level, according to my Chinese doctor.
I also have some sort of blockage down there somewhere, a tube maybe, I'm having a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy in 10 days :( hope they find nothing too tough to handle. I went to see my acupuncturist and Chinese herbalist who told me that there are specific herbs that help lower FSH levels, and can help with blockages.  I've been on the herbs for 2 months now and am feeling  more possitive, though I do have my ups and downs.
I just want to tell you to listen to those specialist with a hard skin, it's not easy as they can be so black and white, and terribly unsentimental about it all.  I suppose it can't be easy for them either.  I put more faith on the old natural remedies though there is no quick fix.  I've only been trying to conceive for a year and a half.  4 years is a long time and we're not getting any younger!  I hope you find good and helpful women to chat to here at FF.  There are so many of us going through similar journeys.  Good luck and write back if you fancy.  ^hugme^  Jeza
 
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