[clarem45]

I am new here - so here is some background - i have a 2 and a half year old little boy called wiliam and i am 42 - desperately trying for baby number 2 - had blood work done with fsh at 8.9 but i aware it is quality not quantity that counts.  I have been trying for one and a half years now and have tired chinese medicine and reflexology and am about to start acupunture.  My dh is resistant to anything to do with IVF - he has poor morphology (8%) but high volumne.  I am, it seems surrounded by pregnant women including a close friend who told me on valentine day that she is pregnant with her second and then I had to listen to her telling me all about it for the next couple of hours - I managed not to cry and not to slap her in the face for being so insensitive but maybe its me - she as told me to see a counsellor if I cannot share her joy!!  - I may be a bitter and sad women but i can only share her pleasure from a distance - if you know what I mean.
Is there anyone out there that understands what I am going through and has similar circumstances.  It seems a sad fact of my life that I discovered I loved children to late in life......I am SICK of trying every  month but really struggling to let go..... sorry about the ramble but I need to vent somewhere and i have been reading the posts here for a long time now and you seem such a supportive bunch of women.  Even my dh has told me to "get over it" "we have william, be grateful" and I am, I am, its just........
thanks for listening
clare

 

[REC]

Hi Clare
I have no real words of wisdom but can fully sympathise with you on the need to be pg. 
I was in tesco's yesterday just minding my own business when a friend came up to me all giddy, holding a bunch of flowers & a pack of baby-gro's, gushing that she'd just become an Auntie & thrust the baby-gro's in my face.... Took me all my time not to slap her round the chops with the flowers, was so trying not to cry & by the end of the conversation with her I was almost ready to ram those flowers where the sun doesn't shine  ..
So I'm sending you lots of  to tell you that you're not on your own.. So sorry you're feeling like this, it's awful isn't it..
Take care

Roz x

 

[clarem45]

Thank you for replying - it made me feel normal - it is terrible - I am sure I never used to be so bitter, but thats how I am becoming - I too could slap these women, especially my so called "friend" - my dh tries to understand, but he does't, he is not really a children type of person although he loves william to bits!!

Its a bloody rough road we travel.............and it so helps to share it with someone

thank you
clare
p.s would send you a hug back but i dont know how!!!

 

[Guest]

hi clarem45

i understand how you feel. Only the other day a lady were i work (got a job in Jan) thought the only reason i was saving money to have a baby was because of how expensive baby thing are . "there's never a right time to have another baby" she said (i have a 10 year old son WILLIAM ) "DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE MONEY JUST GO A HEAD AND HAVE ONE" she said. I then had to tell her that the reason i was saving was to have ivf. she didn't know where to put herself after that. also the other lady i work with is almost 6 month pg but i told her what i was going through and she has been great and really supportive.

It hurts like hell sometimes and i don't know how i get through those days .

When you go into compose a message you should have a line of little faces. If you click on more another window should open and you will find the hugs in there. hope that helps.

Love Charlotte

 

[bookworm]

Hi Clarem45 and everyone else

I now how you feel me and my partner are waiting for my results of various tests but he has come to the decision if it happens it happens but don't lose any sleep over it.
I have a 4 year old who has got friends in school having brothers and sisters.He told me today he wants a brother so i asked "where do we get one from" and he said "the brother shop".I feel guilty not being able to give him a sibling the problem is you can't explain why.
My close friends know what i am going through and are quite good.But some mums at school you just can't win with.They ask are you planning to have anymore children when i asay thinking about it they say you can't leave him on his own so then i say i have been trying a while with no joy yet they then say well my friend has been trying and has got no child so be grateful.So how do you win that one.
Any wya there is my moan.

Good luck to you all

bookworm

 

[skye]

I am ashamed to say i was 1 of these women who was ignorant towards If as i had a dd with my 1st husband.Since marrying my wonderfull dh of 6yrs we were dx with male factor and only then did i realise how common and awfull IF really is.I dont think pple realise the trauma that goes with IF whether you have a child or not,it's something we take 4 grantid.I think the patronising sympathy shouldn't go to us with IF probs,instead we need to sympathise with those ignorant pple (like i was)who have noooo clue as to the daily suffering we go thru I feel all us men and women are stronger than anyone can ever know unless they have felt the tourment of IF....A minuites scilence for those who think they r safe from it- as there is no such thing!!!!Ignorance is BLISS.Skye.

 

[clarem45]

Many thanks for the replies - it does help to share!  I would love to say my friend was ignorant of my plight but she is not - I think that is why I find it so hard to listen to her - she knows exactly how I feel and my situation - I can cope with people who dont know because it is not there fault, but a friend who has seen me in tears over it and then can sit in my kitchen telling me all about her 6 week pregnancy!!!!

Oh lord there I go again - bitter and twisted.........

clare

 

[funk]

^f
airydust^ I REALLY WISH I COULD HOLD YOUR HAND NOW..FSH of 8.9 is really good for  your age.Whatever form of treatment you want should be done soon.The way i cope when i am informed of someones pregnancy or actually notice a bump is this.......I just say to myself ,congratulations to you,mine is just around the corner.
I have a four yr old ivf baby,tried three times after  .but i am still very positive.If it happenend once it will happen again.Somtimes i keep telling god  ,i really need one more pregnancy and thank Him for my son and say that i really appreciate that gift)Please reply
from Funke,new member