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Hi everyone,

been reading all the posts with interest and therefore had to join cos it looks like i have finally found somewhere were i slot in!!!  :(

Have a son aged 9 and have been trying for #2 for over 6 years - will be 7 yrs in sept 2005.
Have tried various drugs and had all the tests my diagnosis was anovulation.
Was originally at warrington nhs trust then moved to liverpool womens hospital.
Last year i decided that i had had enough of waiting 6 mths in between appointments, popping my self with drugs and nothing happening etc...
Anyhow i have been ok for the last 6 mths and felt like i have been gettin on with my life only to have a crisis this week were i have realised that i am not really over it and cannot move on as everything has rose again, the feelings, the wanting etc.... and i have been getting very very upset!
I have been making my husbands life a misery and feel like i have turned into the b**ch from hell, trying to have a dig at everyone to make myself feel better all the time!!! and i dont like the person i am turning into anymore...i have realised i am very very bitter about the whole thing and i just feel like no one else understands how i feel, i am fed up of putting on thisbrave front all the time telling people i am fine and everything is hunky dorey cos it isnt!!
I am sure alot of you will relate to how i feel but i just need to get it all off my chest.
As like everyone all i want is another child and feel like cos i havent got the money to proceed with ivf etc.... that i am being penalised!!!
Oh god...i am waffling so much.....sorry to be such a pain......
Sending huge hugs for everyone.

Love, Louise xxxxx
 
G

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Hi Louise

welcome to ff you will find lots of support on here.

I know just how you r feeling, well we have not been trying quiet as long as you (almost 3 years) but it hurts all the same. I have a son who is 10 this march he was also conceived naturally. I have just found out that both my tubes are blocked and I slao have pcos (no periods until recently when i was given metformin). The only way forward for us is IVF and there is no way that we can afford it.

I hope you feel better soon and if you need someone to talk to please feel free to im me.

Love Charlotte

p.s sending you lots of ^reiki^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^
 

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Hi there,

I hate having secondary infertility - everyone expects you to accept your lot and be grateful for what you have got.  Unless you are in our situation, you just cannot understand that ache inside for another child.

We've been trying 3 years for #2 and are still plugging away at it.  We're about to start our first (and maybe only) ivf cycle next month.  We've scrimped and saved for this - we all dress in bargain clothes (second hand or sale time if we're lucky) and have gone without holidays.  I feel terribly guilty about all this because we are all suffering for something that may never happen.  I just can't stand the empty place in our family - even though I love our son dearly.  If we don't have any luck with ivf, then we've decided to adopt from overseas.  Have you given any thought to adoption - perhaps with your son being 9 you could consider a slighly older child of 2 or 3 (if you adopt from this country it doesn't cost anything much whereas from overseas it's a fortune - it annoys me that it's £4,295 just to go through the approval process in our area!!!).

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that there are lots of us ladies out there who DO understand.  This is a great website!!!

Love,

Angel
 

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Hi everyone,

Louise, My heart goes out to you. I hope that you'll find this site a help, I think I would have cracked up if I hadn't had the understanding and support from everyone here. My son is 10 and would love a brother or sister. We've been trying for eight years.

I can't get my head round the cost of IVF. It's so unfair. People can smoke/drink/take drugs and be treated on the NHS but all of us who have done nothing to cause our infertility don't get a penny of government money spent on treatment so it comes down to being a case of who can afford to have  baby and who can't.

Sorry, I'm in a really grumpy mood today and would like to just get under the duvet and stay there.

Love,
Nikki
 

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^hello^

My son is nearly 9 and he would love a brother or sister and he can't understand why we don't just go and get one! ( we've been trying for 3 years)

I'm on my 2ww of my first IVF cycle... keeping my fingers and legs crossed. If we're not successful we may adopt from abroad.

Did any of you ladies have your first baby by CSection??

Nikki, I agree with you about the NHS lottery. We don't smoke and are practically Tea total (since trying!) and haven't needed the NHS until now (oops! well maybe for the birth of my son! But you know what I mean), yet they wouldn't even pay for the IVF drugs!

Take care all of you.

Louise xx
^fairydust^
 

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Louise,
I had my dd by caesarian section - hy do you ask
Casey
 

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Hi Casey

It was something my consultant at the fertility clinic said to me. He said that 1 in 4 women who have a CSection get an infection in the fallopian tubes (with no obvious symptoms) and this causes them to become blocked. It's not until you start trying again that you realise there is a problem.

I had a CSection and I was curious how many of you ladies did. Nobody in my family suffers with infertility and I'm the only one to have had a CSection.

Take care
Louise xxx
^fairydust^
 

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Hi all - welcome Louise. HOpe you will join us on the main secondary infertility thread.
I think that loads of people in life want a second child, and love that just as much as their first - etc. I don't think we should feel at all guilty about wanting another child to love and nurture.
I joined this site in May 2003, and was scared to mention that I had a dd as I felt it made me different. Then Jeanette told me about this part of the site. PHEW - people who I didn't feel bad to post to about dd wanting a sibling.
Since then LOADS of girls I cycled with have gone on to become mummies. And of course they all now understand that mother love is limitless and that wanting another baby is not something to be ashamed of.
So heaps of luck to all of us - and really importantly, heaps of luck to our children - in getting the siblings they all dream off

Fee xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

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Hi Louise
I had a c-section with my son and I too asked about the likelihood of affected tubes.
After my son was born, my temperature was raised quite high, so I had anti-bioitics for a few days, and I worried it may have been down to an infection which may have affected my tubes over the years we have been ttc.
I had a HSG a couple of years ago and my tubes were viable, so I was assured they were ok.
My Mum conceived at the drop of a hat, and all my cousins have had no problems getting pg, my sil tried for 1 month!  ^eyes^ and has just had her beautiful daughter on Tuesday this week.
It hurts when it's close to home, but the pride of being an Aunty compensates in a way that knowing another friend is pg (again) doesn't...if you know what I mean?  :-\
It's so frustrating isn't it not knowing, we're classed as secondary unexplained, which leaves us nowhere quite frankly.
After 8 years of ttc we've given up.
We can't afford tx we simply don't have the funds, so we have exhausted our options...so, we're just getting on with life and coming to terms with no more children... it's so hard... but this site is a life saver!
The 2ndry IF thread is especially supportive as we all share that same deep, emotion and feelings of wanting to do it again.
Miracles can happen look at our Jeanette!  ^cloud9^ so don't give up hun!
Take care and all the best
love
Gayn
XX


 

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Hi Gayn

Have you had your tubes checked? Whats a HCG besides a hormone? I haven't. Can they be unblocked? My consultant said it "might" be blocked tubes because I had a CSection. I have to say I had never heard that one before and I was curious to see how many of us Secondary IF girls had Csections.

If my IVf doesn't work this time, I might have my tubes checked, because I really want to know now. Times running out for me because of my age and I'm going to give it one more year of trying.

Like you say miracles do happen, so you never know, you might get pregnant when you least expect it.

Take care of yourself and keep in touch.
Louise xxx
 
G

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Hi all

I had my ds naturally.  My tubes have become blocked due to a pid i had when i was 16.  But I am not giving up hope.

Love Charlotte
 

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Hi Louise
I had a HSG hun, Hysterosalpingoram.....gawd bet that's spelt wrong  ???
They inject a dye into your womb, which feeds up through to  your tubes, which shows if they are viable (open) or not.
The solution is Iodine, which is a metal, so it shows up on a special type of X-Ray.
It's sometimes done with a Lap, hence Lap & Dye, but my Consultant decided to just do the Dye as I'd conceived before, and wanted to check they were ok as there may have been some blockage, due to infection from when I had my C-Section.
The Lap is done via a general anaesthetic, and by keyhole surgery, so it's less invasive, and a better recovery time than years ago.
He didn't feel it was necessary to do the Lap, much to my annoyance.
My SIL had the Lap & Dye done together, but she's in a different county to me, so it all depends on your local Health Authority and Consultant I guess.
To be honest I think I may have some endo as I have pelvic pain near ovulation and it's unbearable sometimes, but after faffing about for so long with Consultants, and not having the funds for IVF we were always limited as to what we could do, so we have sadly decided to give up.
I'm 36 this April, not old I know, but after 8 years of ttc I don't feel able to put myself, my dh and my ds through anymore cr*p, emotionally and physically.
My son is 13 soon and he's a wonderful lad, and I've resigned myself to be blessed with him, and do all I can for him.
He is so sad too, to not have a sibling, as he's such a loving, caring lad, but he knows it's just not meant to be.
You never give up hope....but equally you learn to not set yourself up quite so much, for the disappointment each month...as AF arrives.
Infertity is a friend of ours, not one that's been chosen...but it looks like we're stuck with it....so we're learning to accept its place in our lives....and life CAN be good!....just gotta learn how to wear the "mask"  ;)
lotsa love and heaps of babydust!
Gayn
XX



 

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Hiya

Lou..I too had a c section at 32 weeks.

But as Gayn says dont give up hope..look at me.

I never expected this to happen naturally after what the doctors said. The pain every month when the old witch arrived was so unbearable.

My daughter would cry for a sibling..that too was unbearable as I felt I was a terrible mum and was letting her down.

With much love for you all

jeanettexx
 
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