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hi all... what a brilliant website. I would love to hear what you think of my situation. my hubby has had a vasectomy reversal which appears to have failed. the next step is icsi/pesa or sperm donation. my hubby has dismissed sperm donation outright saying he couldnt cope with someone elses child but i think that it is less intrusive, much less expensive and that really nobody has to know apart from us and maybe close family. Has anyone else had this problem and what did you do? Also at the minute we cannot get free icsi but we heard that we may be able to get one treatment on the nhs from april.does anyone know anymore about this? I'm sorry if i appear unknowledgable but i feel im entering a whole new world. thanks
 

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Hi Lizzy
Welcome to FF.
You have come to thr right place for advice & support.
Have you tried the ICSI general chic chat for the UK section, I think some of the women there have been through similiar and will be able to give you some advice & support on the issues you are looking into.
Best of luck,Chick
 

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Hi Lizzy

Welcome..my husband had a vasectomy but our urologist recommended PESA rather than a reversal so we started with that.
It is a big thing to prepare for mentally but my dh said that the procedure wasn't as bad as he expected. Luckily we had successful sperm retrieval & have just started our first cycle.
I can't speak on the donor side but as chick says - please join us on the Male Factor ICSI thread as some of the girls are using donor & might be able to help you & dh come to terms with this option.

Hope to speak to you again & good luck with whatever you decide.

Love

B xx
 

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Hi Lizzy

My dh had an unsuccessful reversal in 1998.  We then decided to go for a PESA in 2002 and embarked on our first ICSI in Jan 2003 (which failed).  However, second attempt worked and I am now 16 weeks pregnant.

Dh and I have discussed donor sperm at great length.  Funnily enough he was the one happy to go for it and it was me who had the doubts.  If this cycle of ICSI had failed then I think I really would have given the concept even greater thought.  In my experience the road to using a donor is a long one.  Your DH's response is not unusual and it doesn't mean that he won't come round to the idea at a later point.  For me, I felt I had to try everything I could to have a child that was genetically ours before using donor sperm.  If I hadn't then I think I would always have wondered what might have been.

I guess the other factor which you may have to consider is the change in the law which is taking place in April.  From that point donors will not be anonymous and any child will have a right to trace their donor when they are 18.  Although it does not change the fact that your dh would be the legal father of any child, I do think this makes it nigh on impossible to keep it a secret.

The PESA itself is not too bad (well, so DH said), but you are right to consider the emotional and physical upheaval of going through a cycle of ICSI.  It is hard, but when a BFP comes along all the difficulties are worth it 100 times over.

I am not sure about the cost as I think policy varies from area to area.  Certainly we never had the slightest chance of a go on the NHS due to the vasectomy and due to the fact that DH already had children (although I think the vasectomy was the killer).  At our hospital, a full cycle including drugs and freezing of embryos cost the best part of £3k!  ^scared^

Sorry to ramble, but I hope some of that helps.

Good luck!

Angela
 
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