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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all,

Just had a consultation with a private fertility clinic and due to my problems IVF is our only option. He said the chances of falling pregnant through IVF is 20%, it was 40% on Clomid. I'm feeling so negative and down about it all, I just don't know what to do. What percentage were you told when seeking further treatment? Did it work for you?

 

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Hi there

Please don't be down hearted. I was told i would have a 15% chance of the first IVF working due to just my age & my first time worked & me & dh still can't quite beleive our luck!!!! So i would say that can happen to you hun & you have better chances than i had. Chin up hun :-* :-* :-* :-*

Best of luck ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^

Sue XX :-*
 

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Hi there,

so sorry to read that this is getting you down.
If you decide to try IVF, try not to worry too much about chances.
I know it does not help to be told all these percentages, but in the end it also depends on luck and a positive attitude and you won't get percentages for those  ;D

Wishing you the best of luck with whatever decision you will take. take care  ^hugme^

Caroline Anne

 

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The percentage chance I was given is shown just under my login name to the left...

20% is a lot better than 1% and look at my outcome.....that was a 1% chance of getting to ET as well, not just getting pg.....

Please hang in there. Who says you cant be one of those 20%
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thank you all for taking time out and replying. I'm certainly feeling the positivity being thrown my way!

EBW1969 - 1%?! Man, little Kate IS a miracle! Congratulations to you, and you suemac38.

I'm so sorry to hear about your m/c Caroline, how are you doing?  ^hugme^
 

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Thanks fox....see SOMEONE has to be that percentage...!

let us know what you decide.

I was advised to cancel part way through tx and to go with donor eggs "next time" (which dp is against).  Thought, "no, Im half way through this tx, if I stop now I'll always wonder what if".  Whatever decision you make I am sure it will be the right one for you xxx
 

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Hi Fox

Deciding whether to try IVF is a hard decision, I know. It's very traumatic, expensive and there are no guarantees. Your dr is telling you the odds because it's important you understand your chance of success in order to make an informed decision.  The 20% he's given you are based on your age, your FSH level and the clinic's average success rates.  20% is pretty standard for a 38 year old. That means 20% every time you try.  If it doesn't work the first time, you don't have a 40% chance the 2nd time. In fact at our age, the odds probably get smaller every time because our fertility is declining so we are less likely to have a good response to the drugs. 

Positive thinking is essential to get through the process.  But I don't think there is any evidence it actually improves the outcome of treatment. After all, if positive thinking made the difference we'd all be pregnant. Our dr suggested we try to be realisitic but optimistic.

There are some wonderful success stories of people who beat the odds and people who get pregnant first time.  But they are the lucky ones. I read an article yesterday that estimated 50% of the people who try IVF get pregnant and the average number of goes before succeeding or giving up is 3 attempts. That means for every couple that gets pregnant, there's another that goes away heartbroken and a lot poorer. 

I really don't want to depress you and sorry if I have.  But it think it's very important to give a balanced picture. As you'll see from my signature, we've not been among the lucky ones.

Good luck with your decision making and with whatever you decide to do.

xxx
 

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Hello Fox

As Francie said 20% is realistic for our age group.

I was given chances of 10% when starting my last cycle... and these were dropped when they only got three eggs at collection. I am now 9 weeks pregnant. I know I am one of the lucky ones, but there are lucky ones!

Our first ivf cycle was a disaster but incredibly useful diagnostically. I wasn't going to do this cycle... i was all for going onto egg donation. But my husband wanted a last bash. We came under pressure to "give up my place on the waiting list so another couple with better chances could have it". Don't forget that doctors work with populations but we are individuals.

Given your diagnosis clomid seems a odd choice: I think some doctors prescribe clomid as a matter of course. I think ivf is worth at least a couple of rounds for someone in your position.

Biddy
 

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Hi Fox,

I think it's very hard listening to the statistics and also very misleading.  Remember you are totally unique and it's actually impossible for the doctors to give you an accurate "percentage chance" because they do not each and every factor about you which may impact your chances.  Plus, as technology in this area gets better all the time, even the best estimates go out of date quickly!

Nothing in this life is guaranteed but a 20% estimate really isn't too bad.  My sister was given less than 10% and she managed a BFP on her first go.  Other people may be given much better odds but are unsuccessful. 

If you decide to give it a go then stay positive but don't lose sight of what you have in your quest for what you want.

good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thank all so much for your feedback, it's much appreciated. It really does help me!

My DH and I have talked about it a lot and taking into consideration everything (including feedback on here) we have decided to try IVF. If I am honest I am REALLY not looking forward to it. I've been prodded and poked around enough! I don't like going into the unknown and I'm really worried how I am going to cope with the whole procedure etc. Clomid was bad enough! I am assuming the side effects of the drugs for IVF are worse than those of Clomid?

Francie - sorry to hear you have not been one of the lucky ones  ^hugme^. What do you plan to do now?
 

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Hello FoxB

I had clomid for IUI... I hated it: it made me bloat and tired me out. The drug used for ivf I found much kinder. You'll be on a low dose if you have polycystic ovaries. IVF is invasive, but then so are pregnancy and childbirth and all the procedures that surround them. I ruled out ivf... God knows how I wound up doing two rounds! I really didn't find it that bad. Of course the fact that it worked gives me a brighter opinion of it. Lots of luck to you
 

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Hi Fox we were given a 26% chance at our clinic which is about the same as you. 1st cycle we got zero fertilisation 2nd cycle switched to ICSI and now nearly 6 weeks pregnant. You need to have a PMA the journey is mentally cruel but soooooooooo worth it. Good luck

whippet x
 

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Try to put it in perspective - it's 20% on IVF, but only 30% for a 'normal' couple to conceive by natural means on any given month...

so not so bad really? (ok, obviously each cycle with IVF is a lot more expensive than conceiving naturally, but it puts it into perspective a little!!)
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I heard it was actually 20% Sallywag, which is good, but then I keep thinking it takes an average of 6 months for a 'healthy' couple to fall pregnant... I know I'm not thinking positively but I feel after so many BFN I find it a tad easier to deal with if I expect it to be a BFN. 3 times I thought I was pregnant, only to find out that I wasn't and I felt empty and so upset. Is this making sense?!

Whippet - what's a PMA? I am scared of going through all of this and not having anything to show for it at the end so to speak, not sure I could cope with that. It wouldn't be so worth it then! I'm also scared of hospitals, I'm a chicken. Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way. And to you too biddy2.
 

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Fox PMA is Positive Mental Attitide. Wish there were guarantees in this game but there isnt all in all its a personal thing yes it may not work but for us at least we would have tried all options available to us. Good luck in what you decide

whippet x
 

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Ivf is an exercise in expectation management. The way I got through was to assume it wasn't going to work! And that I was doing it for some sense of closure, and that I was doing it for the experience blah balh. Of course at the back of all this doom and gloom a small furry thing called hope keeps jumping up and down waving a massive banner. I am a largely positive person... i think that most people who tackle ivf are: you have to be able to look at the odds and go 'i'll have that!'

The average couple are a myth. The mean is the wrong sort of average to apply: those of us who have been trying for years are skewing the stats! Most people who have normal fertility and are doing it right get pregnant within three months. ARGHHH. I just think it's preposterous that you can get pregnant by HAVING SEX! why didn't I think of that?

Biddy
 

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Biddy - lol, ;D i know i shouldn't laugh, but when you put it like that i couldn't help it!! aw i know what you mean... grr, very frustrating.

Fox - it makes complete sense, hun, but just trying to retain that PMA!!!! ;D
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Yes, I know what you mean Whippet, I don't want to get to 40 (always said I would stop ttc at 40, also said I wouldn't want to go for IVF!) and regret not trying everything. We've decided that mid July is the best time for us to start. Let's hope we get a BFP!  ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^
 

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Fox

Everything crossed for you hun ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^

Sue X :-*
 

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Fox  ^pray^ you get a BFP good luck honey

whippet x
 
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