Hi everyone, hope im posting this on the correct thread.I have been wondering for weeks what my next course of action should be, i just haven't got a clue! I will give u my info to help you, to hopefully help me to make a decision. Im was 42 last month, i have no children and i started my 1st ivf/icsi cylce the other month.Everything was going fine & results were better than i was expecting, 11 or 12 follicles all really good sizes, and nurse said blood tests were 'perfect, exactly what we are looking for'.At egg collection they only got 4 eggs and some follicles were empty. Out of the 4 eggs, only 1 was mature but it didnt fertilise, but apparantly another egg had gone on to mature overnight, it fertilised and divided, it was a grade 3. Went in to have this transferred, all undressed with gown on waiting to go to theatre and they came to tell me that although it did divide, it has now gone back into one and there was fragmentation, got dressed and came home!! Follow up consultation said he wouldnt advise us to do another another cycle with own eggs as there is less than 5% chance, and he said i was on the highest doseage of meds, advised DE.Because i thought that was our only option, we paid £400 to go on the egg share list to wait for a donor and he said it would be around 6 mnths, we have got an appt at end of may for whatever. If money wasnt an issue i would defo try with own eggs but this cycle has just cost us £8,700 and can only afford 1 more cycle so want to give it my best shot. They told us £6,500 with egg share, and another £1,500 on top if they decide to do a sperm backup - dp had unsucessful vas reversal last june so he had sperm retrieval in jan just gone but they said they may do another op on him so we have fresh sperm. I understand with egg share that if donor gets less than 8 eggs she can give them all to me or keep them, if she keeps them, what happens to our £6,500? So my dilemma is: do i use my own eggs at another clinic or abroad or stick with this egg share, or go abroad and use DE?If i go abroad, can we take dp frozen sperm, cause as i said, that cost us £1,500 to retrieve.Because i only got 4 eggs on this cycle could that change at next cycle and what would they do about meds beens as thou i was on the highest dose this time. I know at the end of the day its my decision but hopefully some kind ladies will give me their advise and help me to come to a decision so i can get things sorted, move on to my next plan and get on with my life instead of feeling extremely anxious and worried 24/7. Thankyou for taking the time to read xxx