[andyjane]

D wasnt prem- but small for age (weight etc). He does have a speech delay and is under sppech therapy and a community peadiatrician who is lovely.
I am getting increasingly worried as the comm pead and my childminder (who wont be in the new year)as does the sppech therapist still feel D has autistic traits and are worried enough to send an EA1 to our local education authority already (D is only 2.5 yrs old).
We had a meeting with comm pead in Oct and MIL, D and I went. We chatted through everything and she didnt seem too worried but would CONSIDER sending the EA1 and review him in 6 months. YESTERDAY we got COPY of a letter sent to our childminder in which the Comm Pead had obviously spoken to our childminder and in the letter it said "thank you for your input re D whilst in your care and at playgroup- D does have some social and communication issues and in view of this have sent the EA1 to the education authority. we shall review him in 6 months." I knew our childminder was going to speak to the paed but she never said what she told them and both DH and I feel betrayed. I dont go to playgroup with D- the childminder thought it would be nice for me to have a morning to myself (Mmmmmmmm)- but am aware he runs around a lot.
Our childminder has been on a website and done a questionnaire and D ticked most of the boxes for being autisitc. I am heartbroken.
I am going to be researching nurseries for the coming year as if he has communication and social issues- they need resolving, and theb days D goes to the childminder he is alone- except for the morning at playgroup.
Is there anywhere I can get info from- I am getting very worried- and DH doesnt want him to go to the childminder anymore.

Please help lovely ladies.

  AJ

 

[Essex Girl]

Andy 

It seems that there are two issues here, D and what may or may not be wrong with him, and your childminder, who seems to be going beyond her brief.  I recall you had concerns about her overstepping the mark before.

Although we are in the system with Lizzie, I'm still not sure about all the red tape.  I assume the EA1 is to tell the Education dept that this is a child who may have special educational needs and need extra help.  That's hard for you as a parent because it is confirmation that the professionals think your child has problems, but it is ultimately the key to him getting extra help, such as Portage or some other form of home tutoring.  I think the criteria for this vary from one local authority to another. 

As for the childminder, I think that as a parent you have a right to know what she has said to the paed about D, and it may be worth asking to speak to the paed again, to explain the position and find out what was said.  I suppose it is right that if the childminder had concerns about D, that she raised them with you, but I'm not sure that her telling you she has done an online questionnaire and that he ticks most of the boxes is very helpful.  It is not her job to diagnose, but simply to raise her concerns so that you can seek appropriate help.  However, if you are finishing with her after Xmas, it may not be worth arguing it out with her.

As for D himself, I'm afraid I don't know much about autism, but I guess only time will tell whether he is on the spectrum and how badly he is affected.  Speaking personally, I find the waiting to see how they develop is hard at times - it would be so much easier if we could see how our LOs are going to be in the future rather than knowing about the different degrees of severity and wondering where on that spectrum your LO will be - in my case, when and how well she will be able to talk.  But getting the right therapy and support helps.  Hopefully if D is in the hands of experienced professionals, they may be able to help you channel his more difficult behaviours in a more constructive way.

As for where to go next, I see you are asking around about nurseries and are checking them out.  Others with experience of autism may have thoughts about whether he would be better in a larger or smaller nursery, or with a different childminder and other children.  If he does go to a nursery and you have the EA1, that may mean that the setting can apply for extra funding for a one-to-one helper, so that he gets more individual help.  I don't know whether day nurseries have SENCOs (special needs co-ordinators), but preschools do.  If so, that would be the person to meet when considering a nursery, as they would be the person responsible for making sure he integrates as well as possible into the nursery activities.

I hope that helps.  Wishing you all the best
Ruth x

 

[madison]

  AJ,


  Hi there,


  I cant comment on your child minder I am afraid other than I would be fuming...


  As for your son, I have a son who was 4 last week, I knew he had problems early on and it has taken until a month or so ago for him to get an official Autistic diagnosis tho I knew all
  along he was... The experts do not like to give a diagnosis to early & when a child has speech delay this can cause Autistic behaviour that may only be because he has difficulty communicating,
  I am going to type out a paragraph from Miles' diagnosis letter that may put your mind at rest...
 
  This is written by the specialist...


  We have always recognised that many of Miles' difficulties would appear to put him on the autistic spectrum , it was hoped when his language significantly improved that his autistic features would
  improve or it would be more obvious that this was the core diagnosis.


  I have put that for you so that you can see that speech & language delay does show trates BUT they can go once the child can communicate better with their peers. Im Miles' case it did not &
  I knew that but with your child it could be as simple a problem as just his speech & then when he can chat away he will be just fine


  Please do try not to worry, even if it was Autism ( which at your sons age is VERY VERY hard to diagnose & they are reluctant to do so ) Autism is on a huge range & its not the end of the world by
  any means, my son is amazing , its just learning how to figure out how to go through your days without triggering off ' problems ' that could be avoided , managing ones that cant be avoided & yes, a lot of
  patience , I have other children and though Miles is harder work ( mainly when we are out ) he brings just as much joy as the others.


  You can PM me if you like with any questions you may have now or in the future,


  Love Katy. xxx

 

[Mummy30]

some good advice there...

only thing i can say is that i used to be a childminder and would never be filling out forms etc without the parent with me knowing and watching what i do.  The only time a childminder should go behind a parents back is if there are concerns ragarding the well being of a child, ie abuse.    She seems to have overstepped the mark here. Do you have a copy of ALL her policies and procedures?? If you are really concerned from her actions you can take it further to carecommission (or is it ofsted in england)

 

[madison]

Did our advice help ?

Katy

 

[andyjane]

Sorry I havent been around much- with xmas and everything.
I am beginning to feel a bit better about things, and next week we are going to see a new nursery for D- I am not going to say anything to the staff YET, I am going to see if THEY notice anything themselves.
I feel he is turning a corner by himself- but Im his Mummy and see him more than others.
HOWEVER- on xmas day- our fertility nurse (also DH godmother) and SILs Mum- a paediatric nurse both came to lunch (i was working). MIL explained what had been going on before they arrived and they BOTH couldnt understand what the speech therapist and childminder where on about. He interacted with family and was a little angel by all accounts.
I know children Ds age CAN have autistic tendancies when their speech is delayed- so I am going to watch, wait and see if the new nursery pick up on any issues.
NEW YEAR_ FRESH START

AJ